Unromantic & Inappropriate Gifts

[invisibleman]

Unless great distances are involved, a gift certificate, or worse, cash, is saying you don't really want to put the in effort or thought involved into giving an appropriate gift.

If I spend time and effort and money on someone I care about and that person gives me a 50$ gift certificate, you know what they are getting from me next birthday or Christmas? A 50$ gift certificate.

They say it's not the gift that counts, it's the thought. I'd add that it's the quality of the thought that counts.

Man, I don't mind getting the gift certificates and cash. I don't want someone's shit that they got out of a storage unit unless it is really nice and not used or broken shit.

I hate spending the cash, time and effort getting people some stuff and they give it back to me to exchange for another. (That one was the one who gave me VHS units, paperweights and used muscle magazines. He gives me shit out of his storage unit. I bought his gift and I had to go back and exchange it.)

 

[naughty]

I have to plead guilty about my inconsistency in getting the gifts out or always taking the greatest amount of time for thought. It does tell me a lot about how a person's mind works though. I have to say that my brother and many of my male friends put me to shame in the time and effort that they put into finding just the right gift for me. I would not have been offended by the Scott Peck book. The trick is to figure out the love language of the person you are dealing with or bad signals will be sent. I dont mind a box of preread books from a friend who thinks I might enjoy reading them. But then this person also sends me things just because as well. I received the loveliest Christmas gift this year. It told me that this person actually thought about what I might like and purchased something with wit and charm for my present. I was delighted to say the least. It doesnt have to be something romantic, it just has to speak to me...

 

[D_Rawkesbye Deadheade]

I got given a cuddly doll from my ex-girlfriend once. It was cute, I'd give her that, but hardly practical and suitable for a lad. What was I supposed to do with it? I sure as hell wasn't going to put it on my bed and it would look rather contradicting with all the lads' mags on the shelf. This is one of those situations where a power tool makes a wonderful gift. I'm a mechanical engineer. Wireless drills excite me! (Asexually, of course... otherwise it'll be quite a blood bath fetish.)

Power drills for lads, yes! Power drills for lasses... something's definitely wrong with you.

 

[naughty]

I got given a cuddly doll from my ex-girlfriend once. It was cute, I'd give her that, but hardly practical and suitable for a lad. What was I supposed to do with it? I sure as hell wasn't going to put it on my bed and it would look rather contradicting with all the lads' mags on the shelf. This is one of those situations where a power tool makes a wonderful gift. I'm a mechanical engineer. Wireless drills excite me! (Asexually, of course... otherwise it'll be quite a blood bath fetish.)

Power drills for lads, yes! Power drills for lasses... something's definitely wrong with you.

Hey, for some lasses a power drill would be just the thing, but you have to know that person. I dont think you can assign so much importance to the gift by itself. You have to look at the entire picture. If this person is known to be thoughtless and selfish then perhaps it is appropos to be upset but if you are a crafty ( into crafts not cunning) then a power tool ( pun intended and not intended) might be just the thing! :biggrin1: Yes considering where we are and who we are talking to a power tool might be just the thing. Just make sure to have another gift as well...

 

[CUBE]

I may not be the brightest guy on the planet but I am indeed the perfect gift giver. I could care less if I get anything but a token so long as thought went into it. Anyway, people that get a gift from me generally say it is there favorite one of the year. My sister, on the other hand, usually gives gifts that are awful. She actually gave me a shirt that was from the clearance rack that had someone else's name in it. Like it had been worn and marked on the inside and she didn't even see it. Trust me she can afford whatever. She also once gave me a huge clearance 5ft spiked lawn ornament. Strange yes as I live on the 5th floor of an apartment building. So most of the time I just throw whatever it is in the trash following Christmas...but I do write a thank you note for it. People at work come back from the vacation and make a bee line to me to see what strange shit she came up with each year. Oh well.

 

[invisibleman]

I got given a cuddly doll from my ex-girlfriend once. It was cute, I'd give her that, but hardly practical and suitable for a lad. What was I supposed to do with it? I sure as hell wasn't going to put it on my bed and it would look rather contradicting with all the lads' mags on the shelf. This is one of those situations where a power tool makes a wonderful gift. I'm a mechanical engineer. Wireless drills excite me! (Asexually, of course... otherwise it'll be quite a blood bath fetish.)

Power drills for lads, yes! Power drills for lasses... something's definitely wrong with you.

My niece is a mechanical engineer. I bought her "MARTHA STEWART'S COOKING SCHOOL" cookbook this Christmas. When she opened up her gift, she squealed and jumped up and down. SHE WAS HAPPY. :biggrin1:

I felt that since she is graduating this year with honors. She would need to know how to cook. And that would free her Mom from having to cook her and her roommates' meals. (Hopefully.)

I am going to get my niece a really cool attache case or briefcase. And money for her upcoming graduation.

 

[Amber1]

I mention this because my cousin who is 50 recently married a lovely woman of 42. It is the second marriage for both of them. He has a 22 year old daughter and she has a 13 year old son. He thinks she babys her son and that he is too soft. They also disagree on how discipline should be meted out. :frown1: IMHO This is the kind of stuff you should discuss before you say "I do." That said, if the man in my life gave me, what he gave his new wife I would be insulted. He gave her a copy of The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, M.D. He stuck 2/$100 gift cards in it to her favorite stores. I'm cool with the gift cards; however that's a self- help book. To me that's like saying, "there's something wrong with you and this will help you fix it."


Sorry to be oppositional here but that is actually one of the BEST books I ever read.....

I made it NEARLY to the end LOL!!

And I would heartily recommend it to anyone!!!!

What it has to teach you in terms of not only hopefully being a better person....but also how THIN the line between 'Sadism and Masochism' is (in love relationships)-and also how to avoid that-is Startling!!!!

I would EVEN give it as a gift but NOT for Christmas!!!!

Giftcards fine, lovely no problem there and I do see your point! It IS a selfhelp book!!!

My WORST present was for my birthday....

I was 5 and a very girly girl and my Dad bought me a toy vacuum cleaner!!!

HOW FUCKIN BORIN!!!!

Cos I loved my Dad to bits I didn't want him to see I hated the thing....so I did the necessary oligatory smile and pretended to love it and proceeded to fake hoover everything once I got home.

To this day he probably still thinks it was a fantastic present!!!

Bless him!!!

:smile:

 

[vince]

I agree that the thoughtless gifts could be worse than a gift certificate. I wouldn't mind something second hand if it was appropriate. I once got a used sweater with a hole in the armpit. That was a downer.

 

[midlifebear]

Bad gift #1: My brother thought he would be cute and bought me a membership in the National Rifle Association. I wrote them a nice letter explaining why such a gift was inappropriate. They sent me (not my brother) a refund check which I then countersigned and sent off to the American Civil Liberties Union. :smile:

Bad gift #2: Probably the most tasteless gift I ever received was a sympathy card when my lover died. It contained a personal check made out to me for $25 from a born-again-christian who worked in my office. When she presented it to me at work she said, "I am certain you will know what to do with this." You know the type. They are always humming "You Light Up My Life" while loitering at the photocopy machine and drink coffee from mugs that scream, "Have You Heard the Good News?" Again, I countersigned the check making it payable to the Hemlock Society (now known as Death With Dignity) purchasing a membership for her in her name. She received unwanted information on how to end one's life when in the throes of a terminal illness for years. Best $25 I ever handed over to another organization. :smile::smile:

 

[invisibleman]

Bad gift #1: My brother thought he would be cute and bought me a membership in the National Rifle Association. I wrote them a nice letter explaining why such a gift was inappropriate. They sent me (not my brother) a refund check which I then countersigned and sent off to the American Civil Liberties Union. :smile:

Bad gift #2: Probably the most tasteless gift I ever received was a sympathy card when my lover died. It contained a personal check made out to me for $25 from a born-again-christian who worked in my office. When she presented it to me at work she said, "I am certain you will know what to do with this." You know the type. They are always humming "You Light Up My Life" while loitering at the photocopy machine and drink coffee from mugs that scream, "Have You Heard the Good News?" Again, I countersigned the check making it payable to the Hemlock Society (now known as Death With Dignity) purchasing a membership for her in her name. She received unwanted information on how to end one's life when in the throes of a terminal illness for years. Best $25 I ever handed over to another organization. :smile::smile:

I am taking notes on this. :biggrin1:

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

I shop all year long to get the perfect gift for people. It allows me to spend plenty without being broke at any one given time.
Personally, I want nothing. If you want to get me something, ask me to make a list or just give me a couple of bucks. I am happy with $5. I can eat lunch for two days on that. It is beneficial to me, and I don't have to have something to dust.

 

[Notaguru2]

I tend to agree with OP. Self-help books are probably something you should buy for yourself, not for someone else.

 

[cutedorkwho]

This past christmas I gave power tools, perfumes oils soaps and other items from my mothers favorite smelling collection of those types of things , personalized mugs and various electronic gadgets to the geeky friends of mine.

I received 4 gift cards and a shirt I would never be caught dead wearing.

You might call that a somewhat lousy christmas but I really do enjoy giving more than receiving so I didn't even think twice about it.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Gift cards aren't bad if you like the stores. You can run to the after Christmas clearance and buy more than they would have bought you.

 

[Principessa]

Gift cards aren't bad if you like the stores. You can run to the after Christmas clearance and buy more than they would have bought you.

True, I'm actually not opposed to receiving a gift card. Especially if it's to a store I like. :smile:

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

oooo Give me one to Beall's, Penney's, Halfprice books, B & N, Lifeway (veggie tales are great), Tuesday Morning, Marshall's or any other TJMaxx outlet, Target, Kroger, hmmm others I can't think of right now. Oh yes, Sears. I like tools too.

 

[THEDUDEofDestiny]

nj, you just date a lot of losers

 

[B_Think_Kink]

I'd rather get power tools than gift cards or the like. I like tools and building things during the summer. Not so much during the winter. I build most of my bird and guinea pigs toys and environments.

Pointless things I've gotten: Matching Jewelry (I'm allergic to metal), Perfume kit (I don't like perfume and my mom's allergic to scents) and bath soaps (for the same reason as perfume as well as having sensitive skin).

Most useful gifts I've gotten: Riding helmet, lunge line, lunge whips, Horse grooming brushes, etc, snow pants, pet food, winter shoes, money.

 

[D_Ireonsyd_Colonrinse]

Here's something I wanted to add about the "gift card controversy" rearing its ugly head a couple days ago.

My sister and I have been in a gift-card duel the past three years. In 2006, she gave me a $50 gift card to Border's Books, and I gave her a $25 gift card to... what? Linen 'N Things?... can't remember exactly. But I do remember the dollar discrepancy, so naturally, in 2007, I had to up the gift-card ante to 50 bucks, lest I seem cheap.

So. Ok. 2007. She gives me a clever christmas card with a $50 gift certificate to Nordstoms... I give her a $50 gift certificate to Cheescake Factory. Presumably, I spent my gift card on 50 bucks worth of clothing... and she had chicken fettucini & dessert with a friend.

NOW. We're at christmas '08. We do another $50/$50 swap. And for some time it's been building up in me that these 50/50 exchanges are essentially meaningless. The whole IDEA of gift-gifting is being subverted by foreknowldge and predictibility. What's the point of yearly 50/50 exchanges -- ? part of me wants to say to her, look, just save it! we do this dance every year. How about if this time we don't exchange gifts at all -- I'll just spend $50 and think of you -- you can spend $50 and think of me.

That's how I feel about swapping gift cards. It's become routinized with me & some family members, and I feel like just blowing the whole game up.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Here's something I wanted to add about the "gift card controversy" rearing its ugly head a couple days ago.

My sister and I have been in a gift-card duel the past three years. In 2006, she gave me a $50 gift card to Border's Books, and I gave her a $25 gift card to... what? Linen 'N Things?... can't remember exactly. But I do remember the dollar discrepancy, so naturally, in 2007, I had to up the gift-card ante to 50 bucks, lest I seem cheap.

So. Ok. 2007. She gives me a clever christmas card with a $50 gift certificate to Nordstoms... I give her a $50 gift certificate to Cheescake Factory. Presumably, I spent my gift card on 50 bucks worth of clothing... and she had chicken fettucini & dessert with a friend.

NOW. We're at christmas '08. We do another $50/$50 swap. And for some time it's been building up in me that these 50/50 exchanges are essentially meaningless. The whole IDEA of gift-gifting is being subverted by foreknowldge and predictibility. What's the point of yearly 50/50 exchanges -- ? part of me wants to say to her, look, just save it! we do this dance every year. How about if this time we don't exchange gifts at all -- I'll just spend $50 and think of you -- you can spend $50 and think of me.

That's how I feel about swapping gift cards. It's become routinized with me & some family members, and I feel like just blowing the whole game up.

I'd end it, what's the point of just trying to find a new place to buy a gift card to every year. Break the chain and get her a real gift.