I think another factor is people's sexual development and history.
I remember that from about the age of around 9 or 10 onwards I thought about sex with both men and women. However, I would say that from the age of about 15 or 16, as my body developed, I increasingly started to subconsciously and consciously fantasize about sex with men. I tried to ignore this and eventually lost my virginity to a girl I met on a school trip to Germany when I was 17. All I can say is that it was OK, not a disaster, but it didn't blow my mind either. I had a couple of other encounters with girls after that, but they were non-vaginal sex, hand jobs and blow jobs. By that time I REALLY knew I preferred men for various reasons. However the prevailing attitude of the day in the 1980s and early 1990s was very homophobic, due to the onset of HIV/AIDS, etc, and I bottled it up, not telling anyone. I was then celibate between the ages of about 19 to 26. During that time I entered a period of severe depression, was prescribed Prozac for 2 years, lost 2 stone in weight and was signed off as unfit for work by my doc over a year. My self-confidence went to zero. I feel that a large part of this was the way I felt about sex. I eventually landed a fairly promising career when I was 24 and a couple of years later eventually had the confidence to have sex with a bloke I met at work. Again, the sex was not fantastic. It took me about a year or so to meet a partner who really turned me on, and that was the first time I had shared an orgasm with anybody for nearly 10 years. Since then I've had about 14 sexual partners over the last 11 years. Most of the relationships have fizzled out after a few months for various reasons. Paradoxically, I feel that most of my partners have only been attracted to me because they liked my looks, body and cock, which is only natural for most people initially, but hardly anyone has have ever shown a real and genuine interest in me as an emotional, spiritual or intellectual being. At the moment, I feel that the outside world beyond my immediate family and friends sees me as either just another unit of labour to work into the ground and a state of exhaustion by the time I'm 65 or as a sex object who'll be of no earthly use once I start to get 'past it'. :smile: