Unsocial Butterfly..HELP

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by pinkpineapples, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. pinkpineapples

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    Okay, so this is kind of a continuance of my Str8 Guy - Gay Guy thread, but different. This time..its not about him.

    He's introducing me to this guy and sprang it on me that it will be tomorrow night. AHH! WTF do I do? For one, it will be immediately after work, so i'm gonna be blah (hopefully he knows this lol, and i will let it be known). I have absolutely no idea who, what, where, when, how, etc etc lol.

    I'm the worse person when it comes to conversation. Don't know what to say, sometimes my responses suck ass lol... I'm a much better listener. I just dont know what to do and now i'm anxious as hell lol. Beyond "hello" I'm lost. OI! It's gonna be a semi-quick meet and greet. Maybe up to an hour? And apparently, he will know if he will like me or not, within that time frame...so, yeah. PRESSURE.

    I know it's not an arranged marriage...so, no pressure there. And if it doesn't go well..okay, its just another person passing through my life. BUT! I would like to have something, so...pressure lol. Am I making this out to be more than it is? My friend is telling me to calm down, or he will get me high prior to the meeting just so i will relax lol.

    At the very least, when I come home (friend coming with...he's crashin for the night), we are gonna get drunk and that will ease my anxiousness. ....HELP! <3

    :confused::eek::confused::eek:
     
  2. Pendlum

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    Well when you are talking to him, try to find some common ground. The simple way is to ask about hobbies and music and stuff. I don't consider myself very good at conversations, but I can prattle on forever about certain subjects if given the opportunity. Sadly there aren't many women I meet who are as interested in (or at all really) video games as I am, or have good tastes in movies (in my opinion), or whatever else. Not that they need to be interested in a bunch of stuff I am form me to like them, but it makes it easier for me to talk to them. So try to find something you can both talk about it. Don't try and force yourself to be funny, especially if you tend to have a darker sense of humor (not saying you do, but just in case). Fake funny doesn't get you very far. Some other things to think about are to avoid self deprecation. It's fine to be humble and make a joke at your own expense, but you don't want to do that a lot.

    I can't say I can give you the best advice as I don't have much experience myself, but these are just some of the thoughts that came to mind right away.

    Just out of curiosity, what sort of things do you like?
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    My best advice is to buy a copy of People magazine and breeze through it so you have a concept of all the fluff things going on in the world this week and take a look at CNN.com and become versed with what is going on with the world.
    Then just ask questions about how they feel about all the things you have studied. Follow that with a lot of questions about their likes and dislikes (that are not too personal) and act like you are really interested.
    My last piece of advice is just relax and be charming and smile a lot. They are likely as uncomfortable as you.
    If all else fails buy a round of shots!
    PS Don't get high you will sound like an idiot unless he is high too!
     
    #3 nudeyorker, Feb 23, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2011
  4. pinkpineapples

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    Good advice. This kinda stuff comes up a lot, based on google search results lol. Um..I like music. Always say that a life without music isnt living. Life should COME with your own personal soundtrack. (just havent figured out mine yet...) I like to read, when I have the time or can keep my eyes open. Movies...TV...video games....computers, when they arent being stupid. Basic stuff i guess..?

    lol, i said i would take tequila if i cant keep calm...
     
  5. Pendlum

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    Yeah, the general advice like that comes up a lot. It can be almost overwhelming and hard to conceptualize when it is given to you, so if you feel similar to that, like you understand but don't understand, don't worry, it happens.

    So, what kind of music (personally I don't really like music as a common ground, but that's just me)? Do you play any instruments? Learning to play one? Any artists or songs that serve as an inspiration? What kind of books? Bad romance? Mystery? Suspense/Thriller? Spy? Fantasy? Sci-fi? What are some of your favorite movies? etc etc.

    Anything you feel passionate about? This part is more about understanding yourself. When you understand yourself more, it becomes easier to be more comfortable around people.
     
  6. pinkpineapples

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    so, I have to say that I'm not as nervous as I was... He showed me who the guy is, and he's not really anything in the 'my type' column. So maybe this will just get me another good friend. OR maybe it will click and something will come of it. Guess we'll see.
     
  7. killerb

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    just relax & have a good time...
    don't think...just BE
     
  8. jjsjr

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    Dude.... Just be honest.
    Flat out say, I came from work, I feel like shit, let me have some slack.
    If you're going to be as drained as you claim you might be, THEN on top of that mentality, ACT like you're trying to impress someone.... that's a bad formula.

    Don't behave like you want a relationship, just behave like you want a friend. You'll feel more comfortable. If ever you go out, just go out to have fun.... If you find a new friend, awesome, you've found a friend. If you find "more than a friend" awesome, you've got a relationship started. But don't forget why you initially are going out... To have fun!!! Don't look for people, don't look for relationships.... We meet new people all the time in daily life, being introduced to someone new is no different.
     
  9. MsThang

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    I am a social butterfly and have no problems speaking with anyone. But being genuine is the key. Whenever I feel nervous about any situation I just think of what could possibly be the worst thing that can happen -- which is never a big deal. Usually does the trick to get me relaxed.
     
  10. pinkpineapples

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    meeting didn't help...guess this advice will be helpful in the future. Thanks~
     
  11. helgaleena

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    What do you mean, meeting didn't help? What was it supposed to help?

    Getting acquainted with a significant other's friends is always a favor you are doing to your partner. There is no guarantee that the friend will also become your friend unless you were mutually compatible to start with.

    Just remember that you are a nice person worthy of knowing, because obviously your significant other thought so before it got deeper than friendship. Sorry it didn't work out this time, and hope it was not too terrible having the guy overnight in your shared space.
     
  12. pinkpineapples

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    lol sorry, i meant "didnt happen"..and then "thanks for the help" was on the brain. It got squashed together lol

    And he ended up canceling on me, so didn't come over. I honestly dont know if he was truthful w/ his reason, but if not. Oh well. I've decided to turn off (try) my feelings for him and move on. Can't allow this to happen.
     
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