Unusual Encounter

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So a female friend I’m casually acquainted with (she dated one of my straight friends a couple of years back) shared via another friend that her parents were getting a divorce because her father is gay. Her parents got pregnant w her while they were in college (my friend is early 30s). She didn’t appear to be too upset about this news and openly shared it a few months back.

Last night I had a first date w a man from a dating app. Long story short it’s my friends dad but I wasn’t aware of this until we were in the middle of our date as I learned more about him.

He wants to go out again. I’m not sure how I feel about it. We had fun but I’m a little weirded out at the idea of hanging out with a friends dad. We didn’t do anything except exchange a quick kiss at the end of the night but he made it clear he wanted to get together again. ThoughtS?
 
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ohiorod

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Depending on how close you are with her, I would ask her how she would feel. If you are not close, tell your new beau that you know his daughter and continue to explore the relationship. Above all, I would not keep it a secret.
 

amazzzed2

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So a female friend I’m casually acquainted with (she dated one of my straight friends a couple of years back) shared via another friend that her parents were getting a divorce because her father is gay. Her parents got pregnant w her while they were in college (my friend is early 30s). She didn’t appear to be too upset about this news and openly shared it a few months back.

Last night I had a first date w a man from a dating app. Long story short it’s my friends dad but I wasn’t aware of this until we were in the middle of our date as I learned more about him.

He wants to go out again. I’m not sure how I feel about it. We had fun but I’m a little weirded out at the idea of hanging out with a friends dad. We didn’t do anything except exchange a quick kiss at the end of the night but he made it clear he wanted to get together again. ThoughtS?

Talk about a small world!!
What's the chances?
 

amazzzed2

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Depending on how close you are with her, I would ask her how she would feel. If you are not close, tell your new beau that you know his daughter and continue to explore the relationship. Above all, I would not keep it a secret.

Good advice.
 
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hypolimnas

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I think I would normalise things asap. What has happened has happened - I would say to her - hey I found out I accidentally met your dad, seems like a nice guy ... might get to know him better. I would say to him - I think I might know your daughter, she's great - have known her for while now.

I would not advise asking her how she feels about it - but you can deal with her response tactfully as a friend would.

If you are honest with both of them asap and use this strategy then the outcome of this for them will be determined by the nature of their relationship which isn't really up to you.

Friendship is generally undervalued so I wouldn't rule anything out too soon. It's not like you are getting married. That said friendships have natural beginnings and natural endings. Good luck whatever happens.
 
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Thanks guys. When I posted yesterday it was due to an inability to sleep yet also the fact I hadn't shared this with anyone (the good think about internet anonymity I guess).

1. She and I aren't close with one another but definitely have many social connections and were always friendly with each other. She lives here in the city and doesn't date my friend anymore but we tend run into one another at a social gathering from time to time.

2. I I had honestly never met her dad until Friday night nor seen him apparently but I have met her mom before and mom and daughter are pretty close. I think that's why it felt strange.

3. I really don't see the harm in he and I getting to know one another better even if nothing romantic develops. I still have't told him I know his daughter but he probably wonders why I asked some of the questions I did. They have a pretty generic last name so it took me a minute to catch on.

Yeah nothing surprises me anymore about dating even in a city this large.
 
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Just a quick update since I can't sleep (again). He and I hung out again last night and I just broke down what I was thinking. he seemed pretty understanding, said both his daughters (has one a couple of years younger than my friend) had taken the divorce in late 2018 and the circumstances very well. He's not had a relationship, just dates and hookups that he doesn't discuss with them obviously. Told me the decision was mine and to let him know.

Im less inclined to go out with him though since he pretty much said he's not relationship inclined. I got burned a few times in 2019 with guys who said they wanted a relationship when they really just wanted to have sex. I'm certainly not opposed to sex but am a little tired of getting the same attitude about it from everyone I meet.