Unwanted Female Attention

Ray Black

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How do you deal with it? When you meet women in a social or professional environment and they take a "liking" to you. And their efforts to get your attention and get close to you become outright annoying. How do you put a stop to it without coming across like an @sshole or when you are not "out" in that circle of people? Your thoughts and suggestions would be much appreciated.
 

kewlkid75

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I lived downstairs in a two story apartment building and the woman upstairs saw me doing laundry, cleaning the apartment or washing my car, changing my oil and she says to me. I love how you do all of this by yourself and it's a shame you don't have a woman to cook for you. Doing laundry one Sunday morning, she said the same thing and I told her that I liked men and her whole demeanor changed. Oh, she says to me and then she says to me. I see why things are so tidy and clean, y'all..gay men she meant. I said thank you, but I don't like a dirty home. Got it from my mom.
 

Brodie888

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I find unwanted attention from gay men to be more overt than women and more persistent.

I'd take it as a compliment anyway. An older neighbor of mine told me to enjoy it while it lasts because one day I'll become invisible just like him. For some guys, they've always been invisible.
 

Sklar

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If you're living a lie, meaning can't come out, then continue the lie.

Let them know you are already seeing someone. You don't have to go into detail, after all, it's none of their business.

Or you can tell them you don't date anyone from work.

Or, maybe a little more brutally honest, tell them you're just not interested in them.

Sklar
 

cedarizzo

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Just tell them you are seeing somebody or tell them you are not interested.

Before I came out, I had plenty of women hit on me. I had a coworker one day ask me what I was doing that night. I said I wasn't doing anything special, just grilling out and staying home. The thing about this coworker, I never ever hit on her. I barely even talked to her. I belonged to a huge group of coworkers that went out 3 or 4 times a week. She didn't even hang around with us.

Anyways, that night about 5pm, she shows up at my house. I told her that I only had 1 small steak and 1 potato (I was 23 or 24 and broke) and I didn't invite her over for dinner. She said she was just going to stay for a little bit. She wouldn't leave and I eventually told her I needed to start the grill to cook my dinner. I even emphasized MY dinner. She said that was fine. She still didn't leave, so we ended up splitting the food. As the night went on, we sat on my couch and talked. Most of what I was saying was about how I had to be at work at 5am. She wouldn't take the hint. Finally at 4am, I jumped up and said I had to get ready and that she needed to leave.

Later that day, I found out that she went to my sister and cried about how I led her on and mistreated her. My sister (who at that point knew I was gay but she didn't accept it) called me and bitched me out for leading that girl on. I told my sister off and told her to stop believing just the one side of the story. After that, I never let a woman believe anything other than I am not interested.
 
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1222288

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How do you deal with it? When you meet women in a social or professional environment and they take a "liking" to you. And their efforts to get your attention and get close to you become outright annoying. How do you put a stop to it without coming across like an @sshole or when you are not "out" in that circle of people? Your thoughts and suggestions would be much appreciated.
Ignore them.

Your sexuality is your own business. You also shouldn't have to keep a catalogue of excuses at the ready to fend off the persistent.

A reasonable person will get the hint if you don't show any interest. Keep the conversation professional, and don't engage them when you sense they are flirting. Find someone else to talk to, or turn away and join another conversation if they keep it up. Turning away helps immensely if they are one of those heavy eye contact flirters.
 

HorseHung40's

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With any kind of unwanted attention, I do the following:
1.) Acknowledge any compliment with "Thank you, that is kind of you to say";
2.) Often that is said in a robotic tone;
3.) Then I change the subject.

If the unwanted comments persist, I say that I am "not interested". I may then end the conversation.
 
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328982

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I'm always thirsty for attention and can’t say I've had a lot of unwanted attention from women or men for that matter. I think there is quite a heightened sense of the sexual attractiveness hierarchy among gay men. I have noticed that queens are very quick to signal lack of interest and active displeasure if they are even looked at by someone they consider not their equal or above on the attractiveness scale. For me, that’s an offputting enough trait.
 
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I'm always thirsty for attention and can’t say I've had a lot of unwanted attention from women or men for that matter. I think there is quite a heightened sense of the sexual attractiveness hierarchy among gay men. I have noticed that queens are very quick to signal lack of interest and active displeasure if they are even looked at by someone they consider not their equal or above on the attractiveness scale. For me, that’s an offputting enough trait.
That's why there are a lot of old, single, bitter queens.
 

Nudistpig

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I think you need to learn to basic talk to women you don't like and learn to set professional boundaries proactively, and you will have a much better experience. As for the eager "hey gf" luanne in accounting who is crossing a line, have a chat at HR. If she keeps jazz hands forever up after meeting one, call HR.
 
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Beanie

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How do you deal with it? When you meet women in a social or professional environment and they take a "liking" to you. And their efforts to get your attention and get close to you become outright annoying. How do you put a stop to it without coming across like an @sshole or when you are not "out" in that circle of people? Your thoughts and suggestions would be much appreciated.
To be honest, I’m very open especially when meeting new people so if I ever get excess female attention they quickly realise from putting two and two together or for others intervening that I’m gay and wouldn’t be interested. That way they very usually become good friends because they care for you a little more than usual friends :)
 

Auggiecakes

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How do you deal with it? When you meet women in a social or professional environment and they take a "liking" to you. And their efforts to get your attention and get close to you become outright annoying. How do you put a stop to it without coming across like an @sshole or when you are not "out" in that circle of people? Your thoughts and suggestions would be much appreciated.

“So girl, there I am sucking with all my might and bitch I swear I was living for that cock!”
 
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deleted23224481

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When a girl has approached me in the past, I've always been straight up with them and said "I'm only into men", in which they return "What! Your' Gay?", "Bingo"
 
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barehole4use

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How do you deal with it? When you meet women in a social or professional environment and they take a "liking" to you. And their efforts to get your attention and get close to you become outright annoying. How do you put a stop to it without coming across like an @sshole or when you are not "out" in that circle of people? Your thoughts and suggestions would be much appreciated.
This is a funny question, it happens to me a lot, i honestly stay always very polite, i am a natural flirt so i do flirt back with them but i make it very clear my preference is men only. The rest plays itself out, they know that i have not lied to them but i know how to play the game.