Update on my problems

[HungInSC]

well alright so two problems

first is as before coming WAY too soon - like 45 seconds - 1 minute of getting head or sex....... i'm 18 but i'm not sexually inexperienced and its never changed - always been the same

it was reccomended that i try masturbating for a long time but i can't even really do that because i lose hardness if i stop the stimulation and if i dont stop the simulation i can't stop myself from coming but even after trying that it doesn't really do anything - especially if i'm really aroused and at my full size and everything, i can come in literally 15 seconds --- is there anything i can take for this? is it mental and will i have to do something about it? it reallllllllllllllly sucks and while i don't think i'm earning myself a "reputation" (i could always blame it on drinking or something i dont know if it came up) i'd like to fix it so i can have more pleasurable sex as can my partner --- thanks in advance ---- and is this something i should see a doctor about - anybody else have experience with this - seems like it would be very awkward

 

[HungInSC]

anyone :unsure:

 

[Max]

SC

The point about masturbating for a long time is, I would say, the idea of doing it not long before you engage in any other activities, so that your system is just slightly less highly charged and ready to blow. But then, life doesn't always work out so that you know beforehand what will happen.

There are various treatments you could follow, desensitizing gels and so forth. But you might find what many men do, that this is a problem which diminshes quickly as you get older and more experienced.

My own way of dealing with being extremely highly charged and very quick to come (which is still the case in my 50s) is to turn it to my advantage ... if you come quickly, so what? With the right help and encouragement from your partner you should be able to be hard again very soon indeed. And the second ejaculation always takes a whole lot longer.

Good luck.

 

[13788]

Just A Guy:

Originally posted by HungInSC@Oct 19 2004, 04:42 PM
anyone :unsure:

[post=260202]Quoted post[/post]​

http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic643.htm

 

[benderten2001]

Awhile back, I purchased a video regarding how "men can last longer".
It seems guys learn early in their lives (when first masturbating) to achieve climax as soon as possible to get to that great pleasure and release. THIS however, in essence, is what we must "un-learn" as we get older and enter into sexual relationships with another.

As a quick review, here is what the video suggests...

(btw--the following can be solo or with a partner but a partner is recommended)

First, masturbate to full ejaculation---taking notice to those inner stirrings and feelings which indicate you are near climaxing. Observe these feelings carefully.
Learn to "sense" their presence and how you feel deep within. These are signals you will need to "record" or make note of for referencing during sex. These signals will serve as your guide as to when (and how) to ease up on stimulation.

Over the next several days, as you continue to masturbate, learn to stop stimulation and stroking as these feelings (signals) emerge. WITHHOLD completing your climax several times deliberately and finally, release and ejaculate. (Again, you and or a partner can take part in the above over a few days periods.) Pinching the penis just beneath the glans is suggested to help hold off a climax.

Next, in following days, you will need to "re-learn" the feel of entry itself with your partner. NO lube is suggested for this part of the "lesson". The partner sits above you and guides your penis inside while you remain absolutely quiet-- not moving at all. You'll want to resist any temptation to respond whatsoever! You are merely getting used to being inside (again) and "how it feels". Your partener can gently move around a bit but not over do it! This "lesson" is then repeated several times for a few days as you continue to (try to) withhold climaxing!

Next, (again within following days), you will introduce using a lube to simulate "wet intercourse entry". While heavily lubed, both you and your partner will lie on your side and you will enter slowly (from behind, but not "doggy" ) and you can begin lite thrusting only! and see how that goes...avoiding climax! Again, this is reintroducing you to the "feel" of actual intercourse taking place. You will build the thrusting gradually but not to the point where you lose control! This lesson is "practiced" then over a few days.

Finally, you should next be ready to resume the missionary "top" position and be able (hopefully) to endure "regular" unbridled intercourse, maintaining control until you are absolutely ready to ejaculate. By then, you will have a sense of when to withhold until you want to release. But take it slow and easy! And, understand, occasional "setbacks" (relapses to losing control&#33 do and will occur. Don't be discouraged.

The video pointed out this indeed takes time and patience to learn. Women are often willing to help their guys with these lessons because they too will of course benefit from improved (longer-lasting) intercourse and will learn as well about the intricacies of male sexual response.

To me, all of the above will certainly require great patience and a determined spirit to follow this regimen! But, it will be worth it. Neither partner should allow the need for these lessons to insult or "intimidate" them. It should be looked upon instead, as an exercise to help improve the quality of their sexual relationship mutually.

Hung, it's important to realize this is a common plight for many men and you're not by yourself. Most men would do well to take a few lessons in this area and learn to "last longer". Best wishes to you.

 

[TragicWhiteKnight]

Benderten's right on the money; heed his words.

To help with the first part, I'd recommend exercising your kegel muscles (since you can easily fit this into your daily schedule) and, with caution, some edging (if it starts to hurt, stop)

I doesn't sound like a mental issue (from what little I know), but it should be fairly easy to overcome with a little practice. If you can't get your girlfriend involved in helping you (or on days you might not get to see her), instead of masturbating several times a day, do it all in one session. And if you want a fun way to learn the tips and tricks of the trade, I could recommend a few books that teach the art of tantra which helped me overcome some of these issues.

 

[benderten2001]

First to TWK.....thanks for your kind words!
I agree too, that the PC muscle control approach (kegels) is most valid! Kudos for that point.

The video information I mentioned did encourage that the process to "re-learn" climaxing NOT be rushed (i.e. attempting all the "steps" at one time, one session).
Personally, I cannot imagine having the patience (at the beginning anyway&#33 to even begin to "follow-through" day by day. Admittedly---it seems like asking too much for a man to be expected to do! Many of us simply go off like a rocket, anyway and right away! ...we can't help ourselves. But, we have to learn to.

As I said though, much of this involves re-learning how to control our ejaculation and time it out the way WE want it and WHEN we want it. Old habits die hard.(forgive the pun&#33 Tremendous will power must prevail.

Anyway, as in most sexual matters and concerns, pre-mature ejaculation is a very personal, individualized "thing" to overcome, but it CAN BE overcome.
If anything, I wanted hung in s.c. to just know it's a common problem and not worry over his being too unusual at all....because he's not.

 

[riddick81]

Originally posted by benderten2001@Oct 19 2004, 07:45 AM
Awhile back, I purchased a video regarding how "men can last longer".
It seems guys learn early in their lives (when first masturbating) to achieve climax as soon as possible to get to that great pleasure and release. THIS however, in essence, is what we must "un-learn" as we get older and enter into sexual relationships with another.

As a quick review, here is what the video suggests...

(btw--the following can be solo or with a partner but a partner is recommended)

First, masturbate to full ejaculation---taking notice to those inner stirrings and feelings which indicate you are near climaxing. Observe these feelings carefully.
Learn to "sense" their presence and how you feel deep within. These are signals you will need to "record" or make note of for referencing during sex. These signals will serve as your guide as to when (and how) to ease up on stimulation.

Over the next several days, as you continue to masturbate, learn to stop stimulation and stroking as these feelings (signals) emerge. WITHHOLD completing your climax several times deliberately and finally, release and ejaculate. (Again, you and or a partner can take part in the above over a few days periods.) Pinching the penis just beneath the glans is suggested to help hold off a climax.

Next, in following days, you will need to "re-learn" the feel of entry itself with your partner. NO lube is suggested for this part of the "lesson". The partner sits above you and guides your penis inside while you remain absolutely quiet-- not moving at all. You'll want to resist any temptation to respond whatsoever! You are merely getting used to being inside (again) and "how it feels". Your partener can gently move around a bit but not over do it! This "lesson" is then repeated several times for a few days as you continue to (try to) withhold climaxing!

Next, (again within following days), you will introduce using a lube to simulate "wet intercourse entry". While heavily lubed, both you and your partner will lie on your side and you will enter slowly (from behind, but not "doggy" ) and you can begin lite thrusting only! and see how that goes...avoiding climax! Again, this is reintroducing you to the "feel" of actual intercourse taking place. You will build the thrusting gradually but not to the point where you lose control! This lesson is "practiced" then over a few days.

Finally, you should next be ready to resume the missionary "top" position and be able (hopefully) to endure "regular" unbridled intercourse, maintaining control until you are absolutely ready to ejaculate. By then, you will have a sense of when to withhold until you want to release. But take it slow and easy! And, understand, occasional "setbacks" (relapses to losing control&#33 do and will occur. Don't be discouraged.

The video pointed out this indeed takes time and patience to learn. Women are often willing to help their guys with these lessons because they too will of course benefit from improved (longer-lasting) intercourse and will learn as well about the intricacies of male sexual response.

To me, all of the above will certainly require great patience and a determined spirit to follow this regimen! But, it will be worth it. Neither partner should allow the need for these lessons to insult or "intimidate" them. It should be looked upon instead, as an exercise to help improve the quality of their sexual relationship mutually.

Hung, it's important to realize this is a common plight for many men and you're not by yourself. Most men would do well to take a few lessons in this area and learn to "last longer". Best wishes to you.

[post=260214]Quoted post[/post]​

Bendertine is abvsolutely correct - very good technique! Try it, IT WILL WORK!