Uses for a big penis

[ClaireTalon]

When you're in a band, you can:

- play the drums with it, especially the base drum,

- use play three-handed piano, even though that'd mean a very primitive third hand,

- pull it out and act as contrabass.

 

[GoneA]

OMG. Punnish me. Please.

Flyswatter?
Caulking gun?
Barstool?
Diving board?
Control tower?
Beacon?

OH Bronxie!!!! I've been WAITING so long to hear those words ... but the way people drool over you here, i think i'm on a pretty long waiting list

 

[AlteredEgo]

No need to punish you for that one, Bronxie... it's definitely possible:

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y5/zarpafilms/bar.jpg

LOL Great minds think alike! My mother had that, and a few other things printed up. She'd bring them to family functions and have all the women in stitches in the kitchen. I'm not sure I was suppoosed to see it, but I sure did. It's exactly why I suggested barstool.

Shiv
fishing rod
draft blocker for drafty doors or windows
cat toy

 

[AlteredEgo]

OH Bronxie!!!! I've been WAITING so long to hear those words ... but the way people drool over you here, i think i'm on a pretty long waiting list

It's okay. I know the girl who organizes the list. I'm sure I could get you moved to the front.

Speaking of fronts

turnstyle
leg bar in a dance studio
chin-up bar
level
use it to churn butter
wisk
spatula (everyone loves to lick the spatula when baking a cake)

 

[B_Jeremy]

LOL Great minds think alike! My mother had that, and a few other things printed up. She'd bring them to family functions and have all the women in stitches in the kitchen. I'm not sure I was suppoosed to see it, but I sure did. It's exactly why I suggested barstool.

Heh.. I can't tell if I would enjoy being at that bar. On one hand it would be a great place to pick up women... on the other hand.. why would they need me with that kind of seating!

Heh, Pecker said golf club... I've taken mine out and used it as a putter a couple times. :biggrin1:

I'll say.... Lighthouse. Stick a light on the top of mine and It would be quite the beacon for people to find their way.

 

[B_Hickboy]

tenderizing hammer
pack coffee in my espresso maker
diversion

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

It's okay. I know the girl who organizes the list. I'm sure I could get you moved to the front.

Speaking of fronts

turnstyle
leg bar in a dance studio
chin-up bar
level
use it to churn butter
wisk
spatula (everyone loves to lick the spatula when baking a cake)

Don't churn it too hard while churning butter or you'll be getting another kind of butter.:biggrin1:

**Ahem** how about a secret entrance switch?

 

[Matthew]

Magic wand to turn men into pigs.

 

[oldman9x7]

If I get tired of making the holes in donuts, or bagels, I use it as a lightning rod during storms. Who said, "What's a lightning rod?"

Gramps

 

[GoneA]

Magic wand to turn men into pigs.

this, i must say, was brilliant

 

[GoneA]

It's okay. I know the girl who organizes the list. I'm sure I could get you moved to the front.

Y E S !!!

Speaking of fronts

turnstyle
leg bar in a dance studio
chin-up bar
level
use it to churn butter
wisk
spatula (everyone loves to lick the spatula when baking a cake)

haha, the "turnstyle", "wisk" and "spatula" ones were hilarious. :biggrin1:

 

[rawbone8]

makes a pretty darn good subject for tall tales and humorous banter

 

[Pecker]

There's that hung guy with Peyronie's who uses his as a trailer hitch.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Temporary Flagpole

 

[BabyShaq]

Holds the blueprints to the Pentagon & White House.

Test cross-breeding with whales and humans.

Construct a satellite around your crotch.

 

[Fracture]

OK...THIS is the reason I joined here...you guys(+girls) are hil-air-E-US
This is one of the funniest threads I've read thru yet

 

[madame_zora]

Ooh, my favorite game, pineapple ring toss.

 

[Pecker]

Calf roping.

 

[Pirate Wench]

What ?!

No one's used theirs to lift up the car while someone changes a flat ?

(love this thread !)

 

[AMikkell]

tenderizing hammer
pack coffee in my espresso maker
diversion

Tenderizing hammer, that makes the phrase 'beating your meat' take on all new levels.