This is my first story, I posted the original yesterday but there were so many grammatical and spelling mistakes that i decided to repost (i couldnt edit the post for some reason) so here it is! please comment!
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Mike was sitting beneath a eucalypt tree. It was a hot summers evening, the sun setting below the treetops. he could see the light play between the leaves, hear the sound of running water and cicadas filled the air and smell the musky dry dust that characterised the Australian bushland.
But by god it was hot.
Mike had already just had a swim in the river, it cooled him off for a while but he was already drenched in sweat again and decided he needed another dip. He took off his soaked singlet, slowly uncovering a perfectly defined 4 pac, and the top of a nice v leading into his loose boardshorts where a nice treasure trail also ran down his stomach and dissapeared. His pecs were similarly sculpted, obviously from hard physical labour. They ended in perfect round nipples nestled in a forest of hair covering his pecs and upper abs. as he lifted the shirt above his head his muscles in his arms and sholders rippled.
He discarded the singlet and stood up. He wasnt very tall, only being about 5 foot 8, and with his broad sholders and powerful legs he looked quite stocky. In the orange twilight of the Australian sun his sun brown tanned skin glistened with sweat, the hair was slightly matted with moisture. He walked over to the riverside nearby and glanced down into a semi calm pool nestled inbetween the base of 2 trees.
His face was the kind that you want to get to know, not only because his smile could make a girl cream herself at a glance, but also because he just had that kind of irresistable friendly nature. What with his deep green eyes you could easilly get lost in, and his perfectly straight, pearly white teeth and well defined jaw coated in a tidy stubble of a beard, with his clean shaven neck. His short dark brown hair was touselled from the swim and the mess made him look even more attractive.
His brief glace at his reflection in the pool ended as he lept up for the rope hanging from one of the branches above and he swung out into the middle of the river and bombied making a resounding splash that echoed through the trees. As he resurfaced a girlish laughter filled the air and he stood in the waist deep water and looked around.
"Up here you goose" the voice giggled.
Mike glanced up to the branch with the rope and there he saw his girlfriend of 11 and a half months, Jess. She was stunning in every way, perfectly curved in all the right places, the kind of breasts movie stars get plastic surgery to achieve (but hers were 100% natural), a butt that makes you dance like you have to piss, and dark flowing hair, amazing hair that was naturally straight underneath but curled into ringlets higher up. the slight breeze tossed it around her face and she tried to keep it under control brushing it out of her hazel-olive green eyes.
"Hahaha what are you doing up there? and how the heck did you climb that without my notice?
"You were practically asleep down there, i think all that swimming made you tired, an elephant could have climbed this tree and you wouldnt have noticed" she giggled again and his heart lept.
"I havent seen you in so long, i thought you were in Melborne for 2 weeks?"
"I was, i got bored though so i drove back with Stace. She was having withdrawls from her new bitch anyway"
Jess was reffering to her 16 year old sister's new boyfriend Leo, he was a nice guy but theyd only been seeing each other for a week before she left. Mike knew they were fucking, he walked in on them once while he was looking for Jess. It was a funny scene, with Stacey kneeling there in shock like a rabbit in front of a truck and the lean muscled wirey Leo sitting on the bed in front of her. She was obviously in the middle of a blowjob. Mike remebered thinking that Leo was seriously well hung for a kid his age, although he knew some guys much bigger, himself included, but damn that kid was packing for a 16 year old, must have been at least 9". he started longing again and he felt himself begin to get aroused.
Jess was watching him with a raised eyebrow and he realised he had been daydreaming. He laughed it off and she giggled in return.
"come on you, lets see if your still as strong as you were before. Catch me!" She laughed again and launched herself off the branch several feet about the river surface, Mike took a couple of steps into the deeper water and caught her, they both went under but his strong legs took the impact and the two 20 year olds both resurfaced lauging, water running from their hair and down their exposed skin.
She planted a kiss on his lips with such passion his already awake member trobbed alive in the cool water. Her silky tongue snaked between their lips and met his, she put her left hand behind his neck and pull him closer.
Finally they surfaced for air and opened their eyes they didnt realise they had closed.
"I missed you" they said in unison, and instantly they broke into laugther again. They always seemed to say the same thing.
Suddenly she stopped and gave Mike 'The Look' with her raised eyebrow and a knowing smirk. Her legs were dangling over his right arm and she began to swing them innocently, with her arms still wrapped around his neck.
"Oh no, whats this? Looks like someone woke up. I sure hope that wasnt my doing..." she finished with a flirty wink and Mike realised his semi hard dick was rubbing against her bum. Quietly mike thought that the reason she drove back with Stace was because SHE was having withdrawls from her own bitch too, and he felt another proud surge in his groin.
"Uhoh" teased Jess again as reached one arm down between their bodies, her hand going on her favourite treasure hunt. She found her target and wrapped her hand around the base of his semi cock, and it gave another lurch.
Her tone changed instantly from teasingly playful to serious and kindof worried,
"Has this thing gotten bigger since the last time i saw you? i cant even get my hand around the base when your semi, i could have sworn i could before..." the slight comment made a huge boost to Mikes ego and he throbed up harder. She climbed down and stood in the water which came up to he breasts, her face was level with his pecs, being only 4'10".
"I dont think he has. Your terrible you know that? you know how much i want you" Mike said in a half pained voice.
"i know, i really shouldn't tease you like this" she grinned as she rubbed her hand down the length of his hardening cock underwater and at the same time flicked her hair from her face and gave him another of her 'Looks'.
Suddenly she tightly grabbed hold of the middle of his shaft and began walking to the shore draggin him behind by his own cock!
"Well i think 11 months is enough teasing dont you?"
Mike suddenly had a flash of images, dreams and fantasises flying through his mind. Was she saying she would finally fuck him? She was finally going to have sex, propper intercourse? Not that dry fucking stuff they had to do but the real deal. He couldnt believe it, this must be another trick he thought. She always comes up with something to get out of it in the end and he always ends up with a handjob.
But as they reached the shore she pulled him forward and pushed him roughly to the ground. The sticks and leaves digging into his back didnt even register on Mikes radar. All he could see was this petite gorgeous nymph pushing him around like a rag doll... her hands reached down to the top of his boardshorts and with great effort pulled them down past his butt and over his throbbing ridgid pole. Finally they past his knees and it sprung up still hardenning.
she froze for a moment.
"yep i definately forgot how big you were" her eyes were filled with a combination lust and fear and awe.
Mike looked down at his 'best friend'. He stood proud between his toned thighs, in comparison to Jess it was much bigger than her forearm, and thick as her biceps. they had never measured it together but Mike knew it was 12 and a half inches long and 9 inches around. He always understood why she never wanted to have sex, out of fear. But oh my god how he lusted for her, how he wanted to try fuck her, how he wanted to see his member dissapear in that tight wet perfect pussy, those gorgeous lips embracing his pole. He wanted to feel the warm wet silky smoothness that had been described to him so many times by his friends. The though made him get even harder and it swelled some more, the veins covering it stood out, pencil thick.
"Fuck it" She said with determination "im gonna go where no girl has gone before... but first i need to get ready Big Boi" she winked teasingly and spat into her hands with resolution...
'Finally' he thought, 'finally im going to loose my bloody V plates'
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This is the edited version of my first attempt at a romantic / erotic story. please tell me what you think, i love hearing creative criticism on how i can improve.
particularly how are my descriptions? does it flow well enough? what else could i improve on?
im currently writing part 2 which i will post in this thread. stay tuned!
-----------------------
Mike was sitting beneath a eucalypt tree. It was a hot summers evening, the sun setting below the treetops. he could see the light play between the leaves, hear the sound of running water and cicadas filled the air and smell the musky dry dust that characterised the Australian bushland.
But by god it was hot.
Mike had already just had a swim in the river, it cooled him off for a while but he was already drenched in sweat again and decided he needed another dip. He took off his soaked singlet, slowly uncovering a perfectly defined 4 pac, and the top of a nice v leading into his loose boardshorts where a nice treasure trail also ran down his stomach and dissapeared. His pecs were similarly sculpted, obviously from hard physical labour. They ended in perfect round nipples nestled in a forest of hair covering his pecs and upper abs. as he lifted the shirt above his head his muscles in his arms and sholders rippled.
He discarded the singlet and stood up. He wasnt very tall, only being about 5 foot 8, and with his broad sholders and powerful legs he looked quite stocky. In the orange twilight of the Australian sun his sun brown tanned skin glistened with sweat, the hair was slightly matted with moisture. He walked over to the riverside nearby and glanced down into a semi calm pool nestled inbetween the base of 2 trees.
His face was the kind that you want to get to know, not only because his smile could make a girl cream herself at a glance, but also because he just had that kind of irresistable friendly nature. What with his deep green eyes you could easilly get lost in, and his perfectly straight, pearly white teeth and well defined jaw coated in a tidy stubble of a beard, with his clean shaven neck. His short dark brown hair was touselled from the swim and the mess made him look even more attractive.
His brief glace at his reflection in the pool ended as he lept up for the rope hanging from one of the branches above and he swung out into the middle of the river and bombied making a resounding splash that echoed through the trees. As he resurfaced a girlish laughter filled the air and he stood in the waist deep water and looked around.
"Up here you goose" the voice giggled.
Mike glanced up to the branch with the rope and there he saw his girlfriend of 11 and a half months, Jess. She was stunning in every way, perfectly curved in all the right places, the kind of breasts movie stars get plastic surgery to achieve (but hers were 100% natural), a butt that makes you dance like you have to piss, and dark flowing hair, amazing hair that was naturally straight underneath but curled into ringlets higher up. the slight breeze tossed it around her face and she tried to keep it under control brushing it out of her hazel-olive green eyes.
"Hahaha what are you doing up there? and how the heck did you climb that without my notice?
"You were practically asleep down there, i think all that swimming made you tired, an elephant could have climbed this tree and you wouldnt have noticed" she giggled again and his heart lept.
"I havent seen you in so long, i thought you were in Melborne for 2 weeks?"
"I was, i got bored though so i drove back with Stace. She was having withdrawls from her new bitch anyway"
Jess was reffering to her 16 year old sister's new boyfriend Leo, he was a nice guy but theyd only been seeing each other for a week before she left. Mike knew they were fucking, he walked in on them once while he was looking for Jess. It was a funny scene, with Stacey kneeling there in shock like a rabbit in front of a truck and the lean muscled wirey Leo sitting on the bed in front of her. She was obviously in the middle of a blowjob. Mike remebered thinking that Leo was seriously well hung for a kid his age, although he knew some guys much bigger, himself included, but damn that kid was packing for a 16 year old, must have been at least 9". he started longing again and he felt himself begin to get aroused.
Jess was watching him with a raised eyebrow and he realised he had been daydreaming. He laughed it off and she giggled in return.
"come on you, lets see if your still as strong as you were before. Catch me!" She laughed again and launched herself off the branch several feet about the river surface, Mike took a couple of steps into the deeper water and caught her, they both went under but his strong legs took the impact and the two 20 year olds both resurfaced lauging, water running from their hair and down their exposed skin.
She planted a kiss on his lips with such passion his already awake member trobbed alive in the cool water. Her silky tongue snaked between their lips and met his, she put her left hand behind his neck and pull him closer.
Finally they surfaced for air and opened their eyes they didnt realise they had closed.
"I missed you" they said in unison, and instantly they broke into laugther again. They always seemed to say the same thing.
Suddenly she stopped and gave Mike 'The Look' with her raised eyebrow and a knowing smirk. Her legs were dangling over his right arm and she began to swing them innocently, with her arms still wrapped around his neck.
"Oh no, whats this? Looks like someone woke up. I sure hope that wasnt my doing..." she finished with a flirty wink and Mike realised his semi hard dick was rubbing against her bum. Quietly mike thought that the reason she drove back with Stace was because SHE was having withdrawls from her own bitch too, and he felt another proud surge in his groin.
"Uhoh" teased Jess again as reached one arm down between their bodies, her hand going on her favourite treasure hunt. She found her target and wrapped her hand around the base of his semi cock, and it gave another lurch.
Her tone changed instantly from teasingly playful to serious and kindof worried,
"Has this thing gotten bigger since the last time i saw you? i cant even get my hand around the base when your semi, i could have sworn i could before..." the slight comment made a huge boost to Mikes ego and he throbed up harder. She climbed down and stood in the water which came up to he breasts, her face was level with his pecs, being only 4'10".
"I dont think he has. Your terrible you know that? you know how much i want you" Mike said in a half pained voice.
"i know, i really shouldn't tease you like this" she grinned as she rubbed her hand down the length of his hardening cock underwater and at the same time flicked her hair from her face and gave him another of her 'Looks'.
Suddenly she tightly grabbed hold of the middle of his shaft and began walking to the shore draggin him behind by his own cock!
"Well i think 11 months is enough teasing dont you?"
Mike suddenly had a flash of images, dreams and fantasises flying through his mind. Was she saying she would finally fuck him? She was finally going to have sex, propper intercourse? Not that dry fucking stuff they had to do but the real deal. He couldnt believe it, this must be another trick he thought. She always comes up with something to get out of it in the end and he always ends up with a handjob.
But as they reached the shore she pulled him forward and pushed him roughly to the ground. The sticks and leaves digging into his back didnt even register on Mikes radar. All he could see was this petite gorgeous nymph pushing him around like a rag doll... her hands reached down to the top of his boardshorts and with great effort pulled them down past his butt and over his throbbing ridgid pole. Finally they past his knees and it sprung up still hardenning.
she froze for a moment.
"yep i definately forgot how big you were" her eyes were filled with a combination lust and fear and awe.
Mike looked down at his 'best friend'. He stood proud between his toned thighs, in comparison to Jess it was much bigger than her forearm, and thick as her biceps. they had never measured it together but Mike knew it was 12 and a half inches long and 9 inches around. He always understood why she never wanted to have sex, out of fear. But oh my god how he lusted for her, how he wanted to try fuck her, how he wanted to see his member dissapear in that tight wet perfect pussy, those gorgeous lips embracing his pole. He wanted to feel the warm wet silky smoothness that had been described to him so many times by his friends. The though made him get even harder and it swelled some more, the veins covering it stood out, pencil thick.
"Fuck it" She said with determination "im gonna go where no girl has gone before... but first i need to get ready Big Boi" she winked teasingly and spat into her hands with resolution...
'Finally' he thought, 'finally im going to loose my bloody V plates'
--------------------------------------------
This is the edited version of my first attempt at a romantic / erotic story. please tell me what you think, i love hearing creative criticism on how i can improve.
particularly how are my descriptions? does it flow well enough? what else could i improve on?
im currently writing part 2 which i will post in this thread. stay tuned!
