Vacation

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Hatched69, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. Hatched69

    Hatched69 Member

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    As of Thurs. I'll be taking a much-needed break (read: vacation/holiday) from work and the daily routine for a while. Off to the beach for a few days... I'll hold the puns for a blast of them upon my return, whenever it may be. :biggrin1:

    Peace.
    H69
    Anyone else taking a vacation soon? If so, where?
    (question meant as a topic of discussion, etc..)
     
  2. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Quit rubbing it in.:wink:
     
  3. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    WTF?? What is this? Spring break? Everyone is either leaving or considering leaving!!:rolleyes:

    Best on your trip hatch. I will keep your place warm in Word Association:biggrin1:
     
  4. findfirefox

    Gold Member

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    WOOO SPRING BREAK WOOOO!
     
  5. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Have fun. It's all in the preparation, H.
     
  6. Gillette

    Gold Member

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    Enjoy yourself!
     
  7. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    That twinge in your intestines
    I don't want no holiday in the sun,
    I wanna got to the new Belsen...
     
  8. Hatched69

    Hatched69 Member

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    I rectum so.:biggrin1:

    Thanks! I hope my wife enjoys me too!!:rolleyes:
     
  9. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    I just got back from a week in abilene. They need to pipe some humidity in there. It's so dry, when you cum, a cloud of dust comes out. ;) I saw fam, ate tons of good food. mmmm
     
  10. Hatched69

    Hatched69 Member

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    Be careful what you wish for.... Hurricane season's not over yet....:cool:

    A good bowl of Texas Chili will solve your ills:

    CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...

    Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

    Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

    Judge # 3
    (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You
    could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put
    the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.



    CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...


    Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

    Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
    seriously.

    Judge # 3
    -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure
    what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people
    who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. ! They had to rush in
    more beer when they saw the look on my face.



    CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI..
    .

    Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

    Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

    Judge # 3
    -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose
    feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by
    now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the
    back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting
    shit-faced from all of the beer.



    CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...


    Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

    Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish
    or ther mild foods, not much of a chili.

    Judge # 3
    -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was
    unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the
    beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB
    woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm
    eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?



    CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...


    Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
    adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

    Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
    admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

    Judge # 3
    -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead
    and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me
    needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her
    that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from
    bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if
    I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other
    judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.



    CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...


    Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
    spices and peppers.

    Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
    garlic. Superb.

    Judge # 3
    -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with
    gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm
    worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand
    behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to
    wipe my ass with a snow cone.



    CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...


    Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
    peppers.

    Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can
    of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am
    worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he
    is cursing uncontrollably.

    Judge # 3
    -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
    wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world
    sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with
    chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of
    lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know
    what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful.
    Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just
    suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.



    CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...


    Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
    bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

    Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
    nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
    passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of
    himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how
    he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

    Judge # 3 - No Report



    Chili Judge
    &#169; 1997 W. Bruce Cameron www.wbrucecameron.com
     
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