Vaginal injuries.
- Thread starter jonb
- Start date
I'm more of a length guy myself, but I think the priniples are the same:
Be gentle and use lots of lube. Just because you have it doesn't mean you have to use it. Make sure her legs are spread far apart and try to enter her in a straight path. If you thrust at an angle, it will only exaggerate your already-girthy size.
Other than that, she'll just have to get used to it.
Good luck.
Be gentle and use lots of lube. Just because you have it doesn't mean you have to use it. Make sure her legs are spread far apart and try to enter her in a straight path. If you thrust at an angle, it will only exaggerate your already-girthy size.
Other than that, she'll just have to get used to it.
Good luck.
- Max,
I agree with thirdlegmeat: except for the sentence I've quoted. There is a logical difference between excess length and excess girth; with length you can hold a little (or a lot!
back, and perhaps gradually increase as she adjusts to you. With width it has to be all or nothing, unless you have a very pronounced taper, I suppose. But I think your comment about going in 'straight' is spot on.
A very thick guy, especially if he has a pronounced glans, will always have to be very gentle and slow in penetration.
- jonb,
Yeah, you should be slow in any case. Sex isn't supposed to be a jackhammer, despite what porno movies think. (It's fairly easy to get that effect: Just take out every third or fourth frame.)
Now, once she does get used to your girth, it'll be the nicest thing. All that extra stimulation.
Now, once she does get used to your girth, it'll be the nicest thing. All that extra stimulation.
wideload: Yeah, her and I both just figured that after nearly a year she would be used to it.
I do notice that when I go at an angle (I.e. legs up type posistions) that it hurts her more (although she does ask for it alot).. After reading the replys it sorta clicked in my head..
I do notice that when I go at an angle (I.e. legs up type posistions) that it hurts her more (although she does ask for it alot).. After reading the replys it sorta clicked in my head..
Morgan: On average, how long does it take to get used to "it".
Is there a rough general time frame or
Is it really more of a variable depending on both partners?
thanks,
Morg
Is there a rough general time frame or
Is it really more of a variable depending on both partners?
thanks,
Morg
wideload: Hey all, I found this site while doing a google search on this sorta stuff.
My question is more for the ladys out there, but mabey some men can help as well.
I'll start off by saying that my penis isn't huge by length standards, but its width is a bit more than normal. I'v measured it at 6.5 long and 6.25 girth (inches)
Anyways my fiance and I have been together for almost a year now, she is my second partner and I am her first. Our problem is that after a year I still cause her injury. She will tell me that she finds peices of "torn skin" after we have sex some times, and that it feels like I am "streatching her out".
At first a got a bit of an ego boost out of this, but now after 12 months it makes me sad to have her tell me after sex "It was great hunny, but I don't think we can have sex again for a week or so".
What i'm asking is does anyone have ideas on how to still provide good sex to my future wife with out hurting her to much?
My question is more for the ladys out there, but mabey some men can help as well.
I'll start off by saying that my penis isn't huge by length standards, but its width is a bit more than normal. I'v measured it at 6.5 long and 6.25 girth (inches)
Anyways my fiance and I have been together for almost a year now, she is my second partner and I am her first. Our problem is that after a year I still cause her injury. She will tell me that she finds peices of "torn skin" after we have sex some times, and that it feels like I am "streatching her out".
At first a got a bit of an ego boost out of this, but now after 12 months it makes me sad to have her tell me after sex "It was great hunny, but I don't think we can have sex again for a week or so".
What i'm asking is does anyone have ideas on how to still provide good sex to my future wife with out hurting her to much?
I had a couple pretty bad experiences when i first had sex, which hurt the girls I was with. I was inexperienced and so were the girls. At least they were with someone my size.
Since then I have always gone slow, often not even having sex for a while; just sleeping together and letting the lady get used to me and my size in an unforced way. One woman I dated was very reluctant to have sex with me, but after letting her just handle me and get used to seeing and touching my cock she let me in. We still took it a little at a time, until she was comfortable and enjoyed being filled.
Since I have learned to go easy and communicate with my partner I have not injured any of them. Occasionally, I have had ladies tell me they were a little sore, but not so much that they didn't want to have sex again with me. We just got a bit exuberant, which if your large you have be careful with. That temptation to just thrust it in at the point of orgasm is difficult to overcome, so I practice control a lot. Certiain positions, like on the side or standing, can be helpful in avoiding overthrusting.
Anyway, take care, and enjoy your loving.
Jack
Since then I have always gone slow, often not even having sex for a while; just sleeping together and letting the lady get used to me and my size in an unforced way. One woman I dated was very reluctant to have sex with me, but after letting her just handle me and get used to seeing and touching my cock she let me in. We still took it a little at a time, until she was comfortable and enjoyed being filled.
Since I have learned to go easy and communicate with my partner I have not injured any of them. Occasionally, I have had ladies tell me they were a little sore, but not so much that they didn't want to have sex again with me. We just got a bit exuberant, which if your large you have be careful with. That temptation to just thrust it in at the point of orgasm is difficult to overcome, so I practice control a lot. Certiain positions, like on the side or standing, can be helpful in avoiding overthrusting.
Anyway, take care, and enjoy your loving.
Jack
madame_zora
Sexy Member
The only thing I can add to the already sound advice is to try a lot of oral foreplay. A lot of women open up a bit more after an orgasm, which might make sex more enjoyable for her. Also, because this situation has gone on so long, she may be somewhat uptight, knowing what's about to happen. Try getting her very relaxed and pre-stretched. That and lots of good lube is about the best we can do.
- jonb,
You should be doing lots of foreplay anyway. A female orgasm without foreplay is like cooking without preheating the oven; it can work, but more likely you'll end up disappointed with the results. (With some women, an even better comparison would be to cold fusion.)
Of course, once she gets used to your size, it's the nicest thing.
Of course, once she gets used to your size, it's the nicest thing.
Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of foreplay. I tend to agree with Zora that she is probably tense because of knowing what is about to happen. That only tightens the muscle, thus causing her more pain.
I would make her feel as comforable as possible -- maybe even suggest for her to be on top. If she is not ready to accomodate you, then she can dismount and you both can continue with foreplay. Eventually she will be wet enough to handle you.
Also, as mentioned several times, use lube and lots of it. Besides, nothing wrong with being too wet, is there? I've never had a man complain about it.
I would make her feel as comforable as possible -- maybe even suggest for her to be on top. If she is not ready to accomodate you, then she can dismount and you both can continue with foreplay. Eventually she will be wet enough to handle you.
Also, as mentioned several times, use lube and lots of it. Besides, nothing wrong with being too wet, is there? I've never had a man complain about it.
zion011402: My wife and I had a similar problem when we were first married. Be sure to lube yourself as well as her. A woman's vagina can expand to have a baby, I'm sure she can expand to get fucked. Consider the possibility that it may be mental ( or emotional ) insomuch, that she remembers the pain that she experienced the very first time you had sex and expects that same feelings everytime you guys have an encounter. You may also want to bring her to cum before you enter her. I always have to make my wife cum before we have intercourse.
Don't forget to lube yourself and her as well...good luck.
Don't forget to lube yourself and her as well...good luck.
If your partner is in good control of their PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscles), then any stretching will go back to "normal" size after you are done. You have to take into consideration that no man has a penis the size of a 10lb baby. Women have been having children for 1000's of years and their vaginas don't stay "open" after they have given birth. I have fisted women and good muscle control is very important to everything getting back to "normal". Women tear when they are because the vaginal opening has not "relaxed" enough to accept the penis. If you care about your partner, then take your time and don't just "shove" it in.
suaige: my ex-wife and I had the same problem for 3 years and I am only 5.5 girth. Her doc mentioned she was tight in a physical. But, she insistied it was me till she gave drug free birth. this is what I found.
Lube always.
while fingering her I found she tightened a lot when first aroused, so too much foreplay was counter productive. it worked better when we just started with slow entry. Make sure you are defeating yourself. customize as needed.
It may be an emotional thing, I was told by a friend his well hung friend had the same problem and his wife had also been molested. Once they worked through that the problem went away.
I don't know the name of it but she could not relax the muscle at the opening of her vagina- the rest was fine. it was like getting through a small mouthed bottle. never solved it, think it was emotional.
Also the doc gave her a stretching device, looked like a large IV needle tube. it was much smaller than me but using that regularly helped. Maybe you can make one of you and she can use it to just stretch out (docs orders were 10 min/day) or just get in and hang out for 10minutes with out moving. then we were pretty OK.
Yeah and that whole self restraint thing, it really bites, but it helped.
Lube always.
while fingering her I found she tightened a lot when first aroused, so too much foreplay was counter productive. it worked better when we just started with slow entry. Make sure you are defeating yourself. customize as needed.
It may be an emotional thing, I was told by a friend his well hung friend had the same problem and his wife had also been molested. Once they worked through that the problem went away.
I don't know the name of it but she could not relax the muscle at the opening of her vagina- the rest was fine. it was like getting through a small mouthed bottle. never solved it, think it was emotional.
Also the doc gave her a stretching device, looked like a large IV needle tube. it was much smaller than me but using that regularly helped. Maybe you can make one of you and she can use it to just stretch out (docs orders were 10 min/day) or just get in and hang out for 10minutes with out moving. then we were pretty OK.
Yeah and that whole self restraint thing, it really bites, but it helped.
Experience dictates that foreplay is the answer, and foreplay can take any number of forms. The ultimate object is to get your partner to the point where she wants you in her body - where her desire is so intense, she can literally taste it; wetness, openness and heat follow naturally. Granted, this takes time, patience and practice, but the rewards are always well worth it. If you can get your partner into that state of mind, and it is more a state of mind than a state of anything else, it matters not what your size is, the most extreme anomalies possibly excepted.
When I was younger (I am older than most trees), I found that some women - invaginated my penis as much out of a sense of duty as anything else. Some felt it was a challenge. I can think of several women who refused when they saw it, or tried and couldn't....I still did my best to make it a memorable experience and when they realized that I was doing this as much for their pleasure as my own, many of those who couldn't suddenly could. I was with her and I felt I might as well make the most of this experience and if generally worked out well. Sadly, as you will see below, I was not always this way.
Strangely, though, my ex-wife was one of the few who could, but who never really adjusted to my size, despite us being together for five and a half years. On the other hand, I fondly remember a very tiny 20 year old Asian woman (all of 4'10" and maybe 85 pounds soaking wet) who took everything I had - with great joy - on the very first try. I am convinced it is all in the mind....hers, yours and collectively. Age, body size, body type, race, whether she has given birth and even her experience have little to do with this. Now, if she is genuinely in pain, i.e., you start banging into an ovary - or both - it is time to withdraw. She will appreciate this. On the other hand, if you play Diesel dork and go on to your own orgasm... well....it's almost certain that she will not desire you as a sex partner again. I speak with experience on this point, as I did this on one memorable occasion when I was young; fortunately she told me what I did and that we woldnever again make love. I cannot say all women are like this, but I had the good sense to never do it again. Yet, if you are caring, my experience is that you can leave a woman with both ovaries aching, and they can enjoy that feeling, and as lkong as you maintain that attitude, you will have many opportunities to explore this feeling with her again.
So, attitude is everything and if you give her the impression you will hurt her, you either won't get in in the first place or, if you do, you probably will hurt her. Hold her, engage in meaningful foreplay (that is, don't communicate the attitude that you just want the appetizer over with and you want to move on to the main course), take your time, tell her you care, be involved - and really mean it - and you can be one inch or fourteen (the two extremes I have seen myself) and you won't have this problem.
When I was younger (I am older than most trees), I found that some women - invaginated my penis as much out of a sense of duty as anything else. Some felt it was a challenge. I can think of several women who refused when they saw it, or tried and couldn't....I still did my best to make it a memorable experience and when they realized that I was doing this as much for their pleasure as my own, many of those who couldn't suddenly could. I was with her and I felt I might as well make the most of this experience and if generally worked out well. Sadly, as you will see below, I was not always this way.
Strangely, though, my ex-wife was one of the few who could, but who never really adjusted to my size, despite us being together for five and a half years. On the other hand, I fondly remember a very tiny 20 year old Asian woman (all of 4'10" and maybe 85 pounds soaking wet) who took everything I had - with great joy - on the very first try. I am convinced it is all in the mind....hers, yours and collectively. Age, body size, body type, race, whether she has given birth and even her experience have little to do with this. Now, if she is genuinely in pain, i.e., you start banging into an ovary - or both - it is time to withdraw. She will appreciate this. On the other hand, if you play Diesel dork and go on to your own orgasm... well....it's almost certain that she will not desire you as a sex partner again. I speak with experience on this point, as I did this on one memorable occasion when I was young; fortunately she told me what I did and that we woldnever again make love. I cannot say all women are like this, but I had the good sense to never do it again. Yet, if you are caring, my experience is that you can leave a woman with both ovaries aching, and they can enjoy that feeling, and as lkong as you maintain that attitude, you will have many opportunities to explore this feeling with her again.
So, attitude is everything and if you give her the impression you will hurt her, you either won't get in in the first place or, if you do, you probably will hurt her. Hold her, engage in meaningful foreplay (that is, don't communicate the attitude that you just want the appetizer over with and you want to move on to the main course), take your time, tell her you care, be involved - and really mean it - and you can be one inch or fourteen (the two extremes I have seen myself) and you won't have this problem.
thik8: Hello to all.
I once was with a married woman who really got into my size but after sex, she "spotted" blood for a few days and was not on her period. She told me that I was probably 3X the size of her husband. It's real spooky to think of hurting a woman with your dick. I agree with the lube advise as well as taking it easy for a while.
I once was with a married woman who really got into my size but after sex, she "spotted" blood for a few days and was not on her period. She told me that I was probably 3X the size of her husband. It's real spooky to think of hurting a woman with your dick. I agree with the lube advise as well as taking it easy for a while.
