Model of a clitoris as jewelry.
Without clitoral stimulation? Nah. Why would I bother doing that?
To expand this, what you are asking is akin to “anal without prostate stimulation.”
I’m fairly convinced that’s a near impossibility based on structural anatomy, with the assumption that everything is present.
You see, the whishbone-with-lining-shaped clitoris runs along the sides of the vaginal opening, ending in the perinium, which gets moved a LOT in anal penetration. (Vaginal as well, of course)
Current theory is the Grafenberg spot is the junction of the legs of the clitoral tissue.
See the photo for a model.
And also:
The Still-Misunderstood Shape of the Clitoris - The Atlantic
So, anal penetration will tug on tissue very near the cltioral ends, and likely stimulate the tissue. Adequately for an orgasm? In my experience, occasionally.
(I ascribe to fascial tensility, so I operate under the assumption that all tissue is interconnected)
What’s far more important is my mental/emotional state during anal play and anal sex.
In general, I need my emotions involved in sex to get aroused at all. If I don’t feel anything for the person, no go.
I’ve tried anal play with several partners, but only consensual anal sex with one. Which colors my emotional response a good bit.
Physically, I have scarring from vagina to anus that inhibits pleasure in certain positions, or with particular pressure.
I just had the flashlight and mirror session with my partner, after something went very suddenly awry.
Now he knows what’s long on there quite well. And I hadn’t checked out the scars in years.
So with those factors in play, this is what happens: partner refers to anal sex, usually in an erotic conversation while he’s away, giving me time to get my headspace and plan on a clean out to prepare, once we get together. (Proven to work. He’s figured out I have to overthink things)
Once we are together, certain actions on my part are a signal of interest in anal play. If my headspace is there, either as a heightened arousal, or a very submissive mindset, I let him know my body is now his. (This is a blanket consent that we have worked out)
So to the original question of how one personally compares to another: (and my read was clitoral stimulation only applied to anal. OP, is that correct, or did you mean for either?)
Both seem to engorge with blood.
The vagina lubricates and changes size and position of the cervix automatically.
From what I can tell, anal changes are entirely under my control, and are mainly connected to my own conscious relaxing, or not.
My partner is girthy. And has a defined head,
In anal sex, I feel that head pop in through the spinchters. It is, honestly, the highlight for me. The pop tugs on the right tissue to create clitoral stimulation, and it’s sudden. With the headspace, it’s almost a guaranteed orgasm, and will be the beginning of a string of them.
In vaginal sex, there’s obviously a greater amount of stimulation, plus additional stimulation from visual and emotional signaling. There’s a feeling of fit that differs from anal to vaginal.
Maybe it’s the natural lubrication, but there’s a “coming home” aspect to a penis in a vagina, that is much less anally. It’s more of a “finally” feeling.
There’s also some pain with anal. It might subside, but it’s always present for me, which keeps it a less indulged in form of play. Weirdly, the more I want it, the more it’s likely to hurt in spots. Likely related to scars I mentioned above.
Digital manipulation does not cause pain.
The first time I orgasmed from any anal play was with my current partner’s fingers.
Surprised us both.
Him: “Was that....?”
Me: (gasping and nodding)
Boy, did he smile.