Venting here

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by B_Hickboy, Nov 28, 2011.

  1. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    I like to think, then speak. Usually.

    The questions men pose in this forum mostly piss me off, and I admit I haven't spent much time and energy trying to figure out exactly what it is that chaps my ass about them. This morning I gave it a little thought and I *think* I've had a breakthrough. I've concluded that I don't like these "Do Women..." questions because they are unromantic. It goes beyond that, though. I'm in a relationship with a woman who has the wonderful ability to be aware of her surroundings and act based on the current conditions, not according to some formula. "Appropriate to the moment" has become a kind of family motto that we use in the pursuit of joy in and out of the bedroom. Together, we have found a way to enjoy life that doesn't require us to memorize any instructions. We respond to each other, the way we are at the moment, based on what is really happening right now.

    THAT is at the heart of what I find objectionable about so many questions posed in this forum - the questioners usually are looking (when not seeking wank fodder) for a set of instructions on what "women" will find pleasurable. Any effort to make up a set of rules that can automatically be followed with all people and all situations is doomed to fail. There are no generic human beings. Each of us has unique needs and desires, and none of us can be all things to all people. Relationships require effortful attention and thought, focus, and devotion to at least understanding if not fully embracing the other person's entire truth. It is the intersection at which life succeeds and technology fails. You'd do well to learn how to listen and care, and stop looking for buttons to push. It's just another way of objectifying other people, and it just pisses me off.

    There's another type of question - the ones where a guy asks questions about his partner as if she's some sort of broken appliance he doesn't know how to fix. Here's a hint - it's not HER that's broken. It's your relationship with her. You are one of the moving parts in a broken mechanism. If you even approach the problem with the attitude that you have to come up with a way to change the other person, you lose. Begin by asking her.

    There. That's the long version. That's what's behind the "fuck off". Or one of them, anyway.
     
    #1 B_Hickboy, Nov 28, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2011
  2. Calboner

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  3. ManlyBanisters

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    No, he's the cock, I'm the cunt.

    May I help you?
     
  4. Calboner

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    No, that was the nearest I could come to a relevant response. I saw that the post had been up for 47 minutes with no reply yet and I didn't want to see it sink away unanswered.
     
  5. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    You're a mensch.
     
  6. crescendo69

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    So, like, when are we going to score?

    Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh
     
  7. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    You are not.
     
  8. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    We are HicklyBanisterBoy. Ignore us at your peril.
     
  9. Hoss

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    If you don't like the way they are phrased then either write up a series of questions posed as you want them or stay out of the womens lib forum if you can't do that then suck your thumb and watch the traffic signals change.


    Imagine for just 35cents a day, the same as a cup of coffee, you can bring an elderly person hope each day:confused:.

    Any way, that break through you announced was the laxative doing it's job, nothing more.:biggrin1:
     
  10. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Thank you for your support.
     
  11. Hoss

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    My pleasure.

    Who the hell is Doreen?

    Maybe I should make a thread in the women's issues asking if women named Doreen are hotter in bed.
     
  12. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Don't know no Doreen.

    Well, actually, I do know one. Haven't seen her in 43-44 years, but last I heard she's a news anchor in Philadelphia. She was my brother's girlfriend way, way back in the day.
     
  13. joyboytoy79

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    It's interesting that just because this was posted by HB, people seem to think it isn't serious.

    I think, Hick, that the majority of men posting the "Do Women..." questions have never been in a relationship. Furthermore, if they have been in a relationship, it didn't last because they were unable to see women as anything other than an object.

    I couldn't agree more. "Women" as a whole don't have collective likes and dislikes, just like men don't. Getting the unthinking masses to realize that somethings ARE universal (like individualism) while other things are not (like thoughts) is one of life's greatest challenges.

     
  14. Hoss

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    Do you know if your brother wants to start a thread about her? Maybe a thread about women who become famous because the sex was either good or bad.
     
  15. HiddenLacey

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    After reading the thread I wasn't quite sure what to say JBT. I read a lot of posts on the forum that I never respond to because I agree and I can't really think of anything to add.

    I guess the best reply would be, that I feel the same way.

    I may not have felt that way a year ago, but I've changed the way I think about a lot of things since joining the site. I understand being unsure of something in a relationship, we've all been there *well not those of us who were born knowing everything.* :rolleyes:

    Most of the time the questions don't really have an answer. Women are different, just as men are different. There is no correct answer unless the answer is given to us by the person we are in the relationship with. I think that point ends up showing just by reading the varied answers the women of this board give.
     
  16. redz_rule

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    I nodded my head whilst reading this and left the thread feeling all warm and fluffy.
    Then I hit 'refresh'
    Thread at the top of Women's Issues?
    'Do most women like getting fucked in the ass?'
    *sigh*

    Thanks though - good post
     
  17. paigexox

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    The environment fostered by this site is just as responsible for those kinds of posts as is the person. There are a great many situational cues, norms, and an Internet atmosphere that help propel an individual to posting such things. As well, it doesn't help that there is a women’s' forum which, on a site dominated by men, is going to act as a sort of locus for opposite-sex input.

    On a whole I see this site as a soapbox for diatribes, speaking down on people from "enlightened positions" (self-elected, mind you), and just generally inane or repetitious content. With that in mind, I don't view material within this sub-forum as being relatively worse than any other, besides the fact that tension gets raised between sexes in an effort to police and preserve a gender nook. I won't get into it much more than this, but suffice it to say, I think the women’s' subby is a good thing and a bad one at the same time.

    Two faces to the same coin, I suppose.
     
  18. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    And just like men, what any given woman likes or dislikes can change from one moment to another. Like Hick said, it's all about appropriateness. Just because I like to do XYZ today or with one particular guy, it doesn't mean I'll like to do it tomorrow or with guy number 2.

    Hick, your thread is brilliant. It should be a sticky.
     
  19. D_Hawkeye Pierced

    D_Hawkeye Pierced New Member

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    They should just call some of the forums "which women will agree with my question so that I can confirm the fact that I can generalize what women want, because I know everything about women.... because I have a big dick"
     
  20. SpoLLe

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    I asked a question similar to the ones that you don't like and it was for purely discussionary (I know thats not a word) purposes
     
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