Venting here

[B_Hickboy]

Did you feel that hyperventilate, or is it snowing by the well?

 

[Countryguy63]

{snip} Just because I like to do XYZ today or with one particular guy, it doesn't mean I'll like to do it tomorrow or with guy number 2.

I'd like to do exwhyzee today, yesterday, and tomorrow :wink:

Hick, your thread is brilliant. It should be a sticky.

I just think HE needs to be sticky :tongue:

 

[Calboner]

On a whole I see this site as a soapbox for diatribes, speaking down on people from "enlightened positions" (self-elected, mind you), and just generally inane or repetitious content.

For a moment there I thought you were going to say something against the site.
:soapbox:

 

[MarkLondon]

Well y'know I think there's just as many inane questions asked in the other forums. The difference there though is that they doesn't get picked up on so much. For sexual techniques and such "mechanical" issues, they can useful. But for human relationship insights, I value this forum the most.

 

[Enid]

I enjoyed Hick's post.
You can't control the types he described (usually), but they are there and I appreciate his thread for detailing what is most assuredly a concern for some here.
Some people like to think in generalizations. It makes them feel better. Maybe the simplistic descriptions just fit for them, not sure. Disheartening for some, but it's how it works for those who choose to go that route.
I hope I can provide at least on occasion a differing, more broad-based opinion but who knows -- I often think I am not really heard.

 

[Drifterwood]

Sorry, I thought it was about tenting.

 

[molotovmuffin]

This thread sucks without pictures.

 

[Calboner]

This thread sucks without pictures.

Here ya go.

 

[cougarblue]

Hickboy, have you by chance read any David Deida?

You sound like "The Way of the Superior Man"...

Cheers!

I like to think, then speak. Usually.

The questions men pose in this forum mostly piss me off, and I admit I haven't spent much time and energy trying to figure out exactly what it is that chaps my ass about them. This morning I gave it a little thought and I *think* I've had a breakthrough. I've concluded that I don't like these "Do Women..." questions because they are unromantic. It goes beyond that, though. I'm in a relationship with a woman who has the wonderful ability to be aware of her surroundings and act based on the current conditions, not according to some formula. "Appropriate to the moment" has become a kind of family motto that we use in the pursuit of joy in and out of the bedroom. Together, we have found a way to enjoy life that doesn't require us to memorize any instructions. We respond to each other, the way we are at the moment, based on what is really happening right now.

THAT is at the heart of what I find objectionable about so many questions posed in this forum - the questioners usually are looking (when not seeking wank fodder) for a set of instructions on what "women" will find pleasurable. Any effort to make up a set of rules that can automatically be followed with all people and all situations is doomed to fail. There are no generic human beings. Each of us has unique needs and desires, and none of us can be all things to all people. Relationships require effortful attention and thought, focus, and devotion to at least understanding if not fully embracing the other person's entire truth. It is the intersection at which life succeeds and technology fails. You'd do well to learn how to listen and care, and stop looking for buttons to push. It's just another way of objectifying other people, and it just pisses me off.

There's another type of question - the ones where a guy asks questions about his partner as if she's some sort of broken appliance he doesn't know how to fix. Here's a hint - it's not HER that's broken. It's your relationship with her. You are one of the moving parts in a broken mechanism. If you even approach the problem with the attitude that you have to come up with a way to change the other person, you lose. Begin by asking her.

There. That's the long version. That's what's behind the "fuck off". Or one of them, anyway.

 

[B_Hickboy]

No, maybe he has read me.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I'd like to do exwhyzee today, yesterday, and tomorrow :wink:

ROFLMAO :biggrin1:. I suspect you aren't the only one :tongue:.

I just think HE needs to be sticky :tongue:

Jello anyone? :biggrin1:

 

[sizequeenNY]

You're a mensch.

I want a mensch :frown1:

edit- I want a hung mensch

 

[TheBestYouCan]

I think a lot of the problem with modern male thinking when it comes to sexuality is the prevalence of pornography.

Most porn is set to a certain formula or sequence of events. You have several generations growing up being inundated with pornography. Their brains are wired to this concept before they even experience their first sexual encounter. What else are they to expect other than what they have witnessed in the porn they are watching on the web?

Then, upon that first encounter most likely being different than what they expect and perhaps even disappointing, they think something is wrong. They aren't doing something right. Why isn't it like it is in the porn?

 

[EllieP]

Hickboy, MB is one lucky girl and I'd give you a kiss if I could. Your post is dead on.

Somedays I log into Women's Issues and wonder why I even bothered to put on my crotchless panties. I don't squirt, don't like it in my face, never tried dp, anal or a trapeze, and I have no intention of going back to something smaller or lusting after something larger.

I'd rather talk about shoes, but I believe there is only a small minority of men who consider that wank fodder. Too bad.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

There are no generic human beings.

um... actually... Human Beings is a generic term.
Aside from being oxymoronic, its simply not a valid statement. Most people in any given culture behave and react within a very narrow range. While I agree with most of your sentiment... it seems to me what you describe as objectionable is that most of the questions asked are seeking information on how the OP can get what THEY, themselves, want from women, rather than actually being a sincere interest in the woman's feelings.
What they tend to hold in common is that they are subtly manipulative in one of just a few different ways.

Unfortunately, the very fact that most of the questions posed here fall into this category, or the one you describe, proves that human beings are, in fact, largely generic... and that most men's interests in women reflect more self interest than actual seeking of real understanding.

The fact that your behavior makes you an outlier to the norm, or that you have managed to find a 'rare' mate who is also an outlier to the norm is not really evidence that the rest of humanity can not be categorized.

True Self awareness is simply NOT very common in human beings.

 

[Hoss]

Did you feel that hyperventilate, or is it snowing by the well?

Stop being silly. Everyone knows snow comes down in flakes, it never snows by the well. How could it? That would be like reversed snowfall.

 

[helgaleena]

Well. :tongue:

I am gratified to hear from a male that both sexes get annoyed by the posts which are annoying because they beg the question and then are enraged when nobody donates what they expected. Thank you Mr. Hick.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Phil likes to label and dismiss and has found what he believes is a good excuse.

Why am I not surprised?

 

[SR_Dee_Zasther]

A very thoughtful and nuanced post . . . it clearly has no place here, I don't see any potential for wank material or reinforcing of my misogynistic views in this thread.

 

[Not_Punny]

The environment fostered by this site is just as responsible for those kinds of posts as is the person. There are a great many situational cues, norms, and an Internet atmosphere that help propel an individual to posting such things. As well, it doesn't help that there is a women’s' forum which, on a site dominated by men, is going to act as a sort of locus for opposite-sex input.

On a whole I see this site as a soapbox for diatribes, speaking down on people from "enlightened positions" (self-elected, mind you), and just generally inane or repetitious content. With that in mind, I don't view material within this sub-forum as being relatively worse than any other, besides the fact that tension gets raised between sexes in an effort to police and preserve a gender nook. I won't get into it much more than this, but suffice it to say, I think the women’s' subby is a good thing and a bad one at the same time.

Two faces to the same coin, I suppose.

Insightful posting, although I would generalize the statement to include tensions being raised being individuals, not just between sexes. Some people just rub some people the wrong way.

* wanders to edge of self-appointed soapbox and falls off* :biggrin: