Overall my husband and I have a good relationship. He does have a lot of issues we are working on due to past abuses(yes, plural) but I knew that going into the relationship. However something happened the other day that blew my mind. I went to train my dog at a seminar where you pay the guy only if he works with you and your dog. I had stated to my husband I wasn't going to pay him to work my dog. When I got there the club director stated she thought it would be good to have this guy evaluate my dog since he is defensive towards people. This would help to establish a training technique for my dog over the next couple of months. I agreed and paid the guy to work my dog. When explaining this change of mind to my husband he hung up the phone on me and later told me I had lied to him. We have only spoken to each other regarding bills, etc since this incident. My question is, does changing your mind constitute lying? I do not take it lightly to being called a liar since I make it a point in my life to be truthful and my reputation for this speaks for itself.
Okay, I'm through with my rant but am still pissed about it.
- Has he never heard the adage, 'It's a woman's perogative to change her mind?'
I might have called him from the seminar,and said, "I want to do this
I've changed my mind now".
On the other hand why aren't you entitled to change your mind?
It doesn't sound like this is something, that should be a big deal
so,what's the big issue? Is there an ulterior motive?
Wer'e always fighting because my husband, won't bring up the real issue, and uses something like this,to start an arguement.
cigarbabe:saevil:
I just talked to Mr. Snoozan about this, and I think the OP probably hasn't furnished enough information. You're right, if it was discussed at length and they decided as a couple that this wasn't something they could afford or should do and he was adamant about it, she betrayed a trust. However, if she just offhand said, "oh, i'm not going to get the training, i just want to see what's going on," then it's a different story. With that said, they are both adults and should be trusted to make decisions for the good of the family on the fly. Unless this was deliberate sneaking around on the OPs part, it doesn't seem like a huge deal. Annoying, maybe. Then again, if this became such a big deal, it probably points to trust issues elsewhere in the marriage like SP said. I just think that unless it somehow compromises the integrity of the family finances or puts an extra burden of responsibility on the husband, it's just one of those things that happens in a normal, healthy marriage.
I understand what your saying. My husband also has serious issues
around money and women. Which frequently come across to me,as
starting a fight about bs. Or I think, he doesn't like women,or he's trying to control me. Which isn't neccesarily true,but it's extremely frustrating trying to figuere out,what is really going on.
It makes it difficult, because I never know, is this his PTSD? Or is this anxiety? Or is this some issue, we have in the relationship?
cigarbabe:saevil:
All the time. But it seems okay if he does it. He has a way of getting an idea in his head and it will be hard to have him see it any diffrently even if it is. I am waiting for him to change his mind and ask him if he lied to me about what he was going to do.
You guys are kidding, right? Unless this is something that would endanger honeydew's family finances, this isn't a big deal. How many times do all of us go to the store, or go out not even meaning to shop and end up coming home with something? Please. People in marriages that share finances change their minds and make spot decisions and alterations in plans all the time. If there's an issue that they can't afford it or that it would otherwise negatively impact their household, that's a separate issue. But really, do you really insist that your wives call you and tell you every time she goes shopping or every time the shopping list changes? Do you call your wives every time you decide to but that Star Trek DVD box set or a couple new golf cubs? Come the fuck on.
Overall my husband and I have a good relationship. He does have a lot of issues we are working on due to past abuses(yes, plural) but I knew that going into the relationship. However something happened the other day that blew my mind. I went to train my dog at a seminar where you pay the guy only if he works with you and your dog. I had stated to my husband I wasn't going to pay him to work my dog. When I got there the club director stated she thought it would be good to have this guy evaluate my dog since he is defensive towards people. This would help to establish a training technique for my dog over the next couple of months. I agreed and paid the guy to work my dog. When explaining this change of mind to my husband he hung up the phone on me and later told me I had lied to him. We have only spoken to each other regarding bills, etc since this incident. My question is, does changing your mind constitute lying? I do not take it lightly to being called a liar since I make it a point in my life to be truthful and my reputation for this speaks for itself.
Okay, I'm through with my rant but am still pissed about it.