Very mixed emotions

Discussion in 'Fictitious Stories' started by D_Applegarth Mangina, Jun 6, 2010.

  1. D_Applegarth Mangina

    D_Applegarth Mangina Account Disabled

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    I have, since my youth, been embarrassed about the size of my dick. It is about 5 inches long, and quite thin when erect. I married a small woman, hoping that would compensate for my lack of size. We had a very good sex life, but I was still insecure. My wife had never had an orgasm with my dick, but I always gave her a lot of oral sex, which she liked, but needed more than any woman I have ever heard of. I have had a couple of experiences that have made my self-esteem much worse. But the biggest problem is my very confused feelings between insecurity, hurt, and excitement. Here is the story.
    My wife and I were at a friend's house to visit. They have a swimming pool, and had invited us to come over for a swim. Bill's wife had taken her kids somewhere, so it was just Bill, my wife and I. I have always known that my wife had an attraction to Bill. I don't think he is all that good looking, but some women seem to think so. He is about 5'8'', and has a soft, somewhat heavy body. He has a very hairy chest, which my wife has commented on favorably. My wife was sunbathing, I had just gotten out of the water, and Bill was still in the pool. When he finally got out, I happened to look at my wife to see what she was doing. She had a look of shock on her face. I followed her gaze to see what she was staring at. Bill was wearing a typical bathing suit, which was light colored. He appeared to be extremely well endowed. I looked back at my wife, who was still staring at his huge endowment. I don't know who was more stunned, her or me. My wife and I did not talk about this, because even though she had a much stronger sex drive than I do, she doesn't like to talk about sexual things. I was also insecure about her sexual drive, and ability to get ready and orgasm so much more than I can. As embarrassed as I was about seeing Bill's big cock, I also felt a strange sense of excitement, that I still do not understand.
    Then things got much worse. I had been wondering if something was going on between my wife and Bill, based on some of her behavior. Well, he invited us over to swim again, and again his wife was not home. After swimming, I had gone into their pool house to change from my swim suit to my street clothes. Bill walked in just after me, when I had my trunks off, and was drying off. He said "wow, you must really be cold". I said, "no, why do you think so". He said "well because your dick looks so shriveled up and small". Then he caught himself, and said, "well I'm sure it's just because of the cold water, I'm sure it gets much bigger when you're not so cold." I had never talked about my size to anyone, but said "well, not really." There was a long silence, and I again noticed how very large his cock looked in his trunks. I soothed myself by thinking that the inside netting must have been holding his cock in such a way that it looked bigger than it really was. It couldn't have been that big. As I am thinking all of this, Bill removed his trunks, and I was amazed. Completely soft, it was much longer, and especially thicker than mine is hard. He walked over to get his own shorts, and as he walked back towards me, I realized that he had been in the cold water too, and as he was beginning to warm up, he got even larger. His big soft cock was swinging back and forth from the weight. He said, "well, don't worry, I'm sure it gets much larger when hard, and that's the most important to the ladies." I was staring at the floor, and trying not to stare at his cock, and I was too embarrassed to answer. He said "well it does get a lot larger doesn't it?" As I looked over at his amazing endowment, I blurted out "well, NOTHING like THAT." I felt so humiliated, but amazed by his size. I apologized for staring, but said I had never seen anything like it.
    Bill could see that I was very embarrassed, and said, "well, it's not like I haven't gotten that reaction from guys before. When I was in high school, all the football players would tease me about it, but they also stared alot. A couple of them started to get hard, but turned away quickly so no one would notice. A couple of them asked me to play helicopter." Being naive I asked what is that? Bill laughed, and started swinging his cock around like a helicopter blade, and it got ever larger. My shock, and strange excitement over-ruled my embarrassment, and insecurity. I blurted out "it doesn't get any bigger when you are hard though does it?" He said, of course, because it's completely soft now. I asked how much bigger does it get? I couldn't believe I was asking this of a male friend, especially one who I thought might be having an affair with my wife. Bill said, "I wish I had a dollar for every time someone asked my that." I could feel my face turn red and said sorry. Bill just put his hands on his hips and smiled. He then said, "a picture is worth a thousand words. Within seconds, his cock started to rise, and I was as shocked by his ability to get hard instantly, as I was by how huge his cock was. I stared in amazement, and said, "I can't believe any woman could take a cock that big." He hesitated, then said, "there is one woman I have been with that although she is a quite small person, seems enthralled by my size. I can't get much of it inside her, but once just the head of it is in her, she starts having multiple orgasms. She loves to run her fingers through my chest hair, and is very loud when she cums, and it seems like she will never stop, which is fine with me." She makes a strange sound like eeeee, then aaaaaaa. He said, I have never heard a woman cum that many times. She said that her husband's dick is small, and thin, so I guess she is pretty amazed by my size.
    By this time, it is obvious to me, that he is talking about my wife. I am shocked, hurt, embarrassed, angry, and turned on all at the same time. I look again at his immense cock, and staring at it, feel like maybe this is what she has wanted and needed for our entire marriage.
    Eventually, my wife told me of the affair, and said, "I love you, but it is just sexual with Bill, and he satisfies me more than I can possibly explain" When I asked her if he had a large cock, she said, "you really don't want to know."
    Unfortunately, I have the picture of Bill's impossibly large cock permanently embedded in my brain. By far, my greatest sexual turn on is thinking of Bill's huge cock in my wife, giving her more pleasure than I could possibly imagine. I also get a strange turn on thinking of her comparing his cock with mine. She has been unwilling to do so, but if I ask her, sometimes she will make a little joke about my "little one". This turns me on. I guess that sometimes our greatest pain, and fear can become our greatest sexual excitement.
     
  2. MrDuuude69

    MrDuuude69 Member

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    Thanks for sharing! Any more of this coming soon?
     
  3. D_Applegarth Mangina

    D_Applegarth Mangina Account Disabled

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    Thanks for your response. This is a true story, so I don't know what else to add. The two things that haven't changed are my shock and fascination with Bill's huge cock, and that I am still embarrassed by my being turned on, in spite of him having sex with my wife.
     
  4. B_bill licker

    B_bill licker New Member

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    wow man, i dont know what to say. I am sure that is a hard situation to be in.
     
  5. D_Applegarth Mangina

    D_Applegarth Mangina Account Disabled

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    Yea, thanks, it was very difficult for a long time, but I finally just accepted the fact that very sexual women tend to like men that have huge cocks. I never will, so now I just have learned to enjoy the feelings of excitement that I get. I really understand the "small penis humiliation" thing. It should make one mad, but instead it is a huge turn on.
     
  6. redejb87

    redejb87 Member

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    very interesting indeed :). Do you consider yourself gay at all? Have you had sex with other women besides your ex wife?
     
  7. D_Applegarth Mangina

    D_Applegarth Mangina Account Disabled

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    Thanks for writing!! It's nice to hear from you again!

    No, I don't consider myself gay, as I have always been very attracted to women and have never been attracted to other men's faces, or bodies. I have never been sexual with a man. I have seen a few other guys(roommates, etc.) who were very well endowed, and I felt the same embarrassment, but also, honestly some sense of fascination that was connected to the great contrast in our sizes.
    I have been sexual with just a few other women since (my ex wife was my first sexual experience). All but one had been with a man who's penis was larger (and a couple WAY larger) than mine. When these women told me that, I felt the same embarrassment, and yet felt turned on at the same time.

    I also find that a large contrast in the breast size of different women to be a huge turn on for me. Watching a woman with average, or smaller breasts stare in amazement at a very busty woman is also a huge turn on for me!! It seems very similar, that the well endowed person just seems more sexual, or powerful that the smaller one.
    Thanks so much for taking the time to read this, and for responding with such interesting questions!! I would love to hear more from you!
     
  8. redejb87

    redejb87 Member

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    Your thoughts on how men/women who are more well-endowed being more sexual is interesting. Personally, I don't think that is the case but I really have nothing to base it on, being as I've had just my bf as a partner. But I think that ppl of all sizes can be as sexual as they think of themselves. For me, take instance. I am on the bigger spectrum, but my sex drive is probably no more than anyone else's.


    Its strange that you would be turned on by other women saying they have had bigger, I don't quite get it but then I am a girl lol.
     
  9. B_Jordan85

    B_Jordan85 New Member

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    the comment about well endowed men being more sexually active is bullshit and comes from a cosmo. I'm nine inches and I haven't had sex in a long time, and when i do im usually very loyal to my girlfriend. STOP READING COSMO, being large doesnt give you a self-esteem. im hung like a donkey and i still feel shitty about myself.
     
  10. con3636

    con3636 New Member

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    Do you have a picture of bills big cock?
     
  11. D_Applegarth Mangina

    D_Applegarth Mangina Account Disabled

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    Hi, no, I've never had, or wanted a picture of him or his cock. I was just stunned and embarrassed by his huge size, especially after I realized he was being sexual with my wife.

     
  12. con3636

    con3636 New Member

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    well you said that it kind of turned you on so I wanted to feel it also.
     
  13. D_Applegarth Mangina

    D_Applegarth Mangina Account Disabled

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    Hi, I know this is difficult to understand (even for me!), but I was not turned on by his cock, so much as turned on that he was so much larger than me, and was having sex with my wife. Yea, I know, it doesn't make sense, but that's how I feel.
     
  14. gunit56_17

    gunit56_17 New Member

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    Thanx for sharing this story. I understand te eexcitement piece, I get excited seeing large cocks...since mine is very small (pics in profile). Wife now freely admits to having had and enjoying cocks much bigger than I. I have a desire to stroke a large cock and go from there, I also desire to see my wife take one of the bigger cocks she had before me once again....as you say hard to explain....
     
  15. tigolbitties

    tigolbitties New Member

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    hahahahaha...
     
  16. Tearnitup

    Tearnitup Member

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    you are not still with the tramp are you?
     
  17. D_Applegarth Mangina

    D_Applegarth Mangina Account Disabled

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    Thanks for posting. No, we broke up many years ago, but both the pain and anger, and yet the strange excitement of it all are still with me.
     
  18. littlepenis

    Verified Gold Member

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    wow - great story and similar what i went through with my wife after she was with a man with a very large cock. humiliation and arousal...
     
  19. D_Applegarth Mangina

    D_Applegarth Mangina Account Disabled

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    Yeah, very embarrassing, but what a turn on thinking of her getting orgasm after orgasm with his HUGE cock!!!
     
  20. D_Applegarth Mangina

    D_Applegarth Mangina Account Disabled

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    Can I be the only guy here who has experienced this???
     
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