Very odd question but i'm curious!

[Snozzle]

Male: asexual

Female: frigid

I thought the male equivalent of "frigid" was "impotent" - a word you don't hear much these days, it's all Erectile Dysfunction.

It occurs to me that women are trained to be impotent (ie powerless in their relationships), and men are trained to be frigid (ie cold and powerful). Maybe it's not so bad nowadays, but that certainly used to be the "ideal".

But as for asexuality, a person certainly need not be asocial to be asexual, though there would be a dimension missing in their relationships with either sex - no flirtation or sexual competition.

 

[Wonderboy]

People with no interest in sex are asexual. ie they have no sexuality.

My ex's friend is/was apparently like that but I think some people, such as ex's mate who dresses goth (with metal claws, cane et al) do it just to be different and feel that they aren't one of the sheep or perhaps are superior to the sheep...

Because this asexual goth was at parties sitting on this one lad's knee asking him if he wanted a threesome with his girlfriend and her...

But yeah, genuine, 100% asexual people do exist. I'm 100% sexual...sometimes it would be nice to be free from sexual thoughts for awhile but they're so pervasive.

*sigh*

But I love sex.

 

[Macarion]

they arent necessarily antisocial, maybe they just got burned out or something

it's possible

 

[B_lrgeggs]

Just as we break down percentages between being gay and straight..can we also break down a percentage for being asexual? I think I might have a bit of that in me. For instance, while I quite a warm and effectionate guy...I am not into kissing. I don't remember having a bad experiences in the past. But
kissing never turned me on. Anyone out there, male or female relate?

 

[rob_just_rob]

Just as we break down percentages between being gay and straight..can we also break down a percentage for being asexual? I think I might have a bit of that in me. For instance, while I quite a warm and effectionate guy...I am not into kissing. I don't remember having a bad experiences in the past. But
kissing never turned me on. Anyone out there, male or female relate?

*coughs*

I don't think I can call myself "asexual", as these stretches of time have never lasted more than a few months. But perhaps we should add a third slider to the "%straight/%gay" category? :tongue:

IOW, yes. :wink:

 

[mellowmal]

The closest I ever came to being absolutely asexual was while I was depressed for a while. I've had several times in my life where I'm not sexually active with anyone else in the room, but it's been because I know I require more than just hopping into bed with someone to really get everything I can out of the experience.

I kind of envy people who CAN have sex just because they like the way it feels and then go on with the rest of their lives.

I suppose it is possible to be entirely asexual, but despite the fact that my history contains most of the indicators to such a mindset/lifestyle, I like sex too much to ever qualify as asexual.

 

[Jeffin90620]

wow! such a facinating world. i know they dont have any interest in sex.. but do they actually FANCY people.. and want relationships with them minus the sex. Just wanna know if they are actually attracted to people at all!

I was at a party a few months back and there was this woman who wanted a boyfriend, except she didn't want a boyfriend. She wanted a guy who would pay attention to her, take her out every weekend, buy her dinner and so on, but not want to have sex with her.

I stifled the impulse to tell her that, if she lost some weight and got better clothes, she could get an attractive gay guy to take her out (another woman in our social circle has the same arrangement, but she is an 8+ and this woman is no more than a 4).

On a completely different tangent, I remember a girl who was in my trampoline class in college. It struck me that I couldn't imagine her having sex with anyone. She seemed completely asexual to me. Now keep in mind that I was 20 years old and I could imagine just about any adult female having some type of sex... but not her.

 

[SurferGirlCA]

Hmmmm Interesting. I dont think il ever be able to understand asexuality but it does intrigue me somehow!

But the rest of human sexuality makes sense to you? Please PM me! :tongue:

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

I have chosen to be "me sexual" I enjoy sex with me. There was a time in my life I was attracted to the opposite sex and wanted a family. I am tired, worn out, and not the epitomy of health. I want the rest of my life to be free and unencumbered. I have fun and a super full life. I have a lot of friends and don't have enough spare time to spend with them. I have so many interests that I don't live and breathe sex. The doctor said I am perfectly normal. I just have a high IQ and am super involved.

 

[wrench]

after going through years of depression, many different anti-depressant drugs, a wife who wont have sex, and working lots of hours, im at the point of being asexual. attractive women dont do much for me anymore. all i get is the urge to masturbate once a week, and porn doesnt help like it once did. maybe im just getting old.

 

[davidjh7]

after going through years of depression, many different anti-depressant drugs, a wife who wont have sex, and working lots of hours, im at the point of being asexual. attractive women dont do much for me anymore. all i get is the urge to masturbate once a week, and porn doesnt help like it once did. maybe im just getting old.

I hear you---in the last two years, the amoutn I jack off has decreased by about 400%, and I barely even look at attractive people with anything close to desire anymore. I haven;t had sex in about a year now, and I actually want it less and less. Depression is a real party killer :tongue:

 

[jeff black]

Speaking from a psychological standpoint, I'd say that a person who prefered no gender at all in a sexual manner is antisocial. Many people perceive this definition as "someone how is not social," (as in..talks a lot?...gets out?...one who is not agoraphobic?) which is an entirely inaccurate view of the term. Antisocial means you go against the norms and mores of society. (I'm trying really hard, at this very moment, not to go off on an Ayn Rand rant.) Spawning is instinct. It's a part of being alive. All species want and feel a need to spawn. One who, against all odds, goes against society in such a way is antisocial and will have specific reasons for feeling as such.

The first signs I'd say would point to molestation in adolescence or childhood.

The very purpose of monasteries is to desexualize or emasculate it's members. According to those who practiced these beliefs, shedding one's sexual desires is actually a spiritual plain where one can focus on the better things in life than simple reproduction. They stand outside procreation and sexuallity and therefore can arise to the challenge of being pure of something.

It's like the fucking Omish not having buttons.

Sounds boring, doesn't it?!?!

I think you should reconsider that statement, Heather, before you sully the good name of Psychologists everywhere.

Just because a person has no sexual interest in another, doesn't make them anti-social. The person may just not have a sexual interest. Period.
As people age, many lose interest and have no desire to be sexual with others. It is somewhat of a common thing.

If you really want to get down and dirty in Psychland, The guy should check his testosterone levels if he has no interest in performing sexually. Yes, potentially there could be some sort of molestation, but other situations for not being interested would include...

Drug/Alcohol abuse
Depression
Schizophrenia
A poorly developed hypothalumus... and that is just a few.

As for

The very purpose of monasteries is to desexualize or emasculate it's members.

I was under the impression that monastaries and monks were seeking higher enlightenment. Not looking to surpress or moderate their sexual desires.

 

[Aloha!]

Speaking from a psychological standpoint, I'd say that a person who prefered no gender at all in a sexual manner is antisocial.

No, not antisocial. There are three classes of personality, yes? Prosocial, asocial, and antisocial.

Prosocial individuals are people who act in ways that positively influence the society in which they live.

Antisocial individuals are people who act in ways that negatively influence the society in which they live.

Now, you have the two extremes, and being asexual doesn't fit either of these categories indefinately.

To be asexual is neither good, nor bad, it just is, making it asocial.

 

[B_big dirigible]

The first signs I'd say would point to molestation in adolescence or childhood.

This is hogwash.

So is this -

Drug/Alcohol abuse
Depression
Schizophrenia
A poorly developed hypothalumus... and that is just a few.

One need not be a prancing satyr to be a perfectly good human.

The women I happen to know aren't looking for men, they're looking for full-time therapists. (What's with that? Are they all reading Cosmo, or what?) I find that if I steer clear of them, I have a lot more time to devote to important stuff, like my hobbies.

Besides, sex keeps me up nights.

 

[rob_just_rob]

Once you guys are done 'fixing' the asexuals, I'm looking forward to you getting started on curing all the gay people here.

 

[SurferGirlCA]

... Besides, sex keeps me up nights.

:tongue:

 

[jeff black]

This is hogwash.

I was just giving her examples, champ. I think Asexual is perfectly fine....

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

In my case, I deal with people all day long. Like hundreds of them. At the end of the day, I am tired of people and just want to be left alone. Plus, I can come on here and read all your dirty remarks and go wank

 

[Heather LouAnna]

I think many of you misunderstand antisocial behavior, as I've witnessed much of it first-hand in a mental hospital setting.

To not want to produce, which is the foundation of animalistic sexuality, goes against the common mind of human behavior as a whole. To argue with this fact is ineffectual.

Once again, I find myself burried in an argument of linguisitics, rather than one of subject content.

 

[headbang8]

I'm going to be deliberately provocative, here.

If anyone wants to be asexual, that's fine. But really, it's like saying that anorexia is fine.

I convinced myself I was asexual for a time in my teens and twenties. Sex with women held little satisfaction, and sex with men was unthinkable. I immersed myself in platonic friends, matters intellectual, and sought higher enlightenment. I was above it all.

Of course, I was fine. But not great. Not living up to my potential as a human being. Cutting myself off from life.

Funny how when we have described being asexual in this thread, even in a good way, it's always in the negative. It's fine. Big D doesn't need to suffer women who want therapy. Jeff Black lists the causes: low testosterone, poorly developed hypothalamus, drug or alcohol abuse (all that's fine, Jeff?). Davidjh cites depression. Macarion says burned out. Pecker says frigid. Here's my take: asexuals are sexually autistic.

And just because I may become too old and decrepit to do the deed (that could be starting as we speak!) doesn't mean I will ever be asexual. If I'm so choosy about whom I fuck that I don't have sex for years, I'm not asexual. Sexuality is in my head, heart and loins. Asexuality is NOT like gender preference, it's a failure to thrive of the soul.

Asexuals remind me of the ex-gay movement. They can fake it for a while. But they'll out themselves eventually.