Very shy

mikey1979

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Well I've always been extremely shy, and even used to think I was small. Paranoid about everything so never had a relationship or tried to. Only had sex once and that was this year with a friend. Tried the internet to get more experience but no luck. Any advice to build my confidence?
 

atlas23

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Hey, thanks for sharing this with us. My best advice will be, get out there. Yeah, you will suck at the begining but later you will see the results. Start going out with your friends to bars, clubs, coffee places; any place you like to hang out and try to meet people (girls). I'd also suggest start working out; two reasons for this one: first, your testorone level will increase having as a reulst a better you (for the lads)and your selfesteem and secondly, it will make you get a better body.
Good luck!
 

ganja4me

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I used to be pretty shy around women too. IMO the best thing you can do is just start hanging out around girls more often. Not hitting on them just hanging out like your hanging out with some friends. The best way to get with a girl that you like is to start off as friends first. By hanging around girls more often you will get more comfortable being around them and talking to them. Once you get comfortable it's easy to open up and flirt with a girl you might like. Another good thing about doing this is you will know how well a relationship will work out by how good of friends you can be with them. If you can get along with them really well and have a lot of similar interests then you will probably be a good match for them. It also lowers your chances of being rejected if they know more about you and know that your or nice person or a funny person or whatever. Just don't be afraid of rejection. It happens to everyone.
 

hung

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You have received great advice to your the thread you started here.

Visit a Church or Temple. Do things at sites where girls are. Try a flower show. I know that England is the site for some wonderful flower shows. Just think of the girls that will be there. Also the people who install these lovely gardens are usually males, although females are not restricted or prevented from being landscapers. You have to think outside of the box.
 

darkone

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I was and still am shy but I guess I have just been lucky with women that I liked. And all of them actually liked my shyness and it really hasn't been a crutch just yet. Listen to the advise given so far and get out there and get yourself noticed.
 

B_andyo

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I am <damn> confident!!!!! is the best thing ever is just.... so good,, you smile when girls nod.. just liek that! be that man and you are a success in life.
 

Londonfields

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i have a great confidence-building idea mikey. you toddle off to the nearest station, get on the train to london, come to my house and let me give you a blow job. then, and only then, confidence raised, you move off and score with the girls.
 

SpoiledPrincess

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I have real trouble understanding shyness, to me people who are shy are basically scared of someone saying no to them, and if someone does say no to you so what? I'd say force yourself to just approach people, if you go up to some hot woman in a bar ask her if she'd like a drink she either says yes or no, saying yes indicates some interest and you linger and as she's interested she'll help you along with conversation, if she says no what harm has been done? I'd also say don't treat every approach as an approach to a woman with the view of having sex in mind, just treat it as being friendly and trying to widen your circle of friends.
 

50%more

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Mike, are you shy because you lack confidence or because you don't know what you want? I am reserved and quiet in many social situations because I like to understand things well before I make a move. But people who really know me know that I am not shy. When I was younger I was a little more shy because I wasn't as sure of who I was. Being outgoing is not always about being heard or making your pesence known, it is about how you deal with a situation. If you are holding back because of fear then have the courage to face your demons. If you approach a woman and make a foolish move or comment, make a joke about. Being able to accept your own fuck-ups is a sign of courage. If the woman can't see that then it is her loss. And I agree with SpoiledPrincess, don't approach women with the motivation of getting laid as soon as possible. Realize that she is a person worthy of friendship and not just someone to use instead of your hand.
 

bigtwin

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There are some good suggestions and comments here Mikey. Another way to break ice is to join some clubs and organizations; sports such as biking, hiking, charities, church, politics, whatever interests you so long as its coed. This is a good way to meet people in a non confrontational and relaxed way - a common interest. Also, don't push things too far too fast. Start with general conversation and see where it leads. Also, don't forget to be a good listener and show a genuine interest in the person you are talking to.