Very well endowed male virgin looking for advice for the first time

[sangheili90]

It seems to me that you are overly focused on actual intercourse and not considering several preliminary steps that many people with limited sexual experience need. The two of you need to explore whether you are taking the relationship to intercourse. You need to get comfortable spending intimate time together. You need to find out what she likes and wants. You have written before about having some challenges reading interpersonal cues so you need to be aware of this and make extra effort. I would suggest taking a position that you will probably not have intercourse the first few times you are in an intimate situation. Instead of thinking in terms of home runs, work on enjoying each step. Cuddle. Cuddle naked. Spend the night wrapped up in each other's bodies. All of these things are wonderful in their own right. Now it may be that the first time you are alone she will try to jump all over you. If you carefully participate in the process of becoming intimate, or not, you will know when to do what.

When I created this thread it wasn't specifically in regards to just sexual intercourse but the overall process of sex itself, including the events that lead up to it. As I've said, having sex with this individual is not a guaranteed thing in the slightest, I just have an intuitive feeling that it will work out for me, though having sex is not my end goal.

 

[sangheili90]

Foreplay foreplay foreplay to get her more ready. And really take your time at first. Don't slam it in there on the first penetration. Don't jackhammer her.

If during the first minute she looks like she is in pain, she probably is and you should slow down.

If you don't hurt her, she's more likely to go for a second round after you cum.

I'm not a woman, so I have no idea what turns them on.....but I'd imagine being with a really nice looking guy, with a fit body and big hard cock would probably sexually excite her, similar to how I'd be aroused at the sight of a hot chick with a tight pussy that was ready for me to fuck.

Going back to your post though, that all makes sense and would probably have to be something I have to communicate with her.

 

[travis1985]

I'm seeing mentions of premature ejaculation. Don't let those get to you. Most of that notion is based on urban myth that stems from media portrayals of virgin or inexperienced sex, and the reason it comes up there is because failure is funnier than success. Far more likely than not, you'll last a perfectly respectable span, even your first time.

 

[sangheili90]

I'm seeing mentions of premature ejaculation. Don't let those get to you. Most of that notion is based on urban myth that stems from media portrayals of virgin or inexperienced sex, and the reason it comes up there is because failure is funnier than success. Far more likely than not, you'll last a perfectly respectable span, even your first time.

I guess there is only one way to find out, though I'd gather the totally alien physical sensation I'll experience while penetrating a vagina plus the excitement around being with a female will most likely result in me "losing my load" fairly quickly. I remember the first time I ever watched video pornography on a site called "The Big Swallow" back in 2004/early 2005. Anyway, I got instantly hard and ejaculated within 2 seconds of stroking myself.

 

[sangheili90]

You have written before about having some challenges reading interpersonal cues so you need to be aware of this and make extra effort.

I don't have challenges reading interpersonal cues, I'm just really awkward with women due to total inexperience. However, I also can't relate to most people and the things they seem to concern their lives with. I'm not going to take what you said personally, but I don't have a disorder.

 

[Dave NoCal]

Sorry. I must have mistaken you for someone else.

 

[Galloper]

As someone else said, just relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy it, bud.

 

[TopGunAZ]

Arizona is a unique place to date. I would say its very similar to Orange County or Las Vegas. Thats not usually a good thing - its very different here from the East Coast where I grew up. What's unnerving is that everything here is very much "hook up" culture and dating is largely a game. The same comes from walking up and introducing yourself to a random girl. It comes off as a predicated "move" here. Thus, any mention of one's equipment before the event is going to be seen as being part of that game. Although I live here, I found dating to be somewhat depressing, especially online, and I much prefer the culture of courtship dating which is found other places.

 

[sangheili90]

Arizona is a unique place to date. I would say its very similar to Orange County or Las Vegas. Thats not usually a good thing - its very different here from the East Coast where I grew up. What's unnerving is that everything here is very much "hook up" culture and dating is largely a game. The same comes from walking up and introducing yourself to a random girl. It comes off as a predicated "move" here. Thus, any mention of one's equipment before the event is going to be seen as being part of that game. Although I live here, I found dating to be somewhat depressing, especially online, and I much prefer the culture of courtship dating which is found other places.

I don't live in the Phoenix area, I live in Tucson. Many of the young ladies that go to the University of Arizona are from southern CA and have the attitude that you described, I've tried approaching a few of them before and the experience left me feeling emasculated lol. The girls I go after are either from Mexico or were born here but raised by Mexican parents. I love how feminine they are, they are respectful, traditional, want a man to treat her right....I asked one out to dinner and she loved it.

 

[sangheili90]

Arizona is a unique place to date. I would say its very similar to Orange County or Las Vegas. Thats not usually a good thing - its very different here from the East Coast where I grew up. What's unnerving is that everything here is very much "hook up" culture and dating is largely a game. The same comes from walking up and introducing yourself to a random girl. It comes off as a predicated "move" here. Thus, any mention of one's equipment before the event is going to be seen as being part of that game. Although I live here, I found dating to be somewhat depressing, especially online, and I much prefer the culture of courtship dating which is found other places.

There are also a lot of white girls from here with more conservative backgrounds that are also very similar to the Mexican girls. However, the major issue with them is that they often come from families with very Anglo-American values, something I'm not overly keen on.

 

[Brodie888]

If you over think everything, the most likely outcome is that you won't be able to get hard in the moment.

Just relax, focus on the kissing and cuddling, stay in the moment and enjoy. Keep out of your own head at all cost.

Spend as much time as she needs with foreplay lots of tongue and fingers.

If you are worried about hurting her, stick to positions where she controls the speed and depth initially and move on to deeper positions when she is ready.

 

[conor]

Have you discussed contraception? Also - does she know you are a virgin? If she knows, it will take a lot of pressure off you to ''perform''.

Hope their will be pics of your cock getting wet for the first time, lol

Enjoy, and keep us updated.

 

[8city]

i'm agree you must spend time knowing her body, talk a litlle and have sex relaxed, and with so much foreplay.. ( well.. i always loved the foreplay)..

i was in the exactly same situation of you, my girl and me was virgin...... my cock it's 7.5", and i was worried because i heard many times that the first time its painful and not have pleasure, specially for the woman,

what helps me so much was that i spend so much time with my girl knowing our bodies before having sex....... and whehn we have our first time, we are in a quiet and nice place, we spend many time plaing, touching, kissing.. we are extremely hot when i penetrate her in the classic position... i took the iniciative, but i let her guide me inside very gently.. no pain at all... and she's vagina continue to expand.. she has huge inside!!!!!!

we finish hardly.. and then we continued after a little time!

 

[sangheili90]

Have you discussed contraception? Also - does she know you are a virgin? If she knows, it will take a lot of pressure off you to ''perform''.

Hope their will be pics of your cock getting wet for the first time, lol

Enjoy, and keep us updated.

This particular girl does not know that I am a virgin, we've been speaking to each other for a while now and I'm looking to make another move on her soon. So, it may be a bit of time before it finally happens, if this all works out as I hoped.

Also, I was pursuing another girl but that didn't work out for me, in all honesty she was really just someone I liked talking to a not the one I really had my sights set on.

 

[nailz]

All this analyzing and scheming reminds me of this:

Just (try) to relax, and be yourself. If you are a virgin, say so. Among normal decent people it's nothing to be ashamed of.
That and everything else will become apparent soon enough anyway.

A good relationship is all about finding someone that accepts you for who you are. If you have to "train" for a relationship or constantly hide behind some facade then it's just going to end in disaster. Just be yourself, and if they don't like that then keep looking until you find someone that does.

 

[sangheili90]

All this analyzing and scheming reminds me of this:

View attachment 641798


Just (try) to relax, and be yourself. If you are a virgin, say so. Among normal decent people it's nothing to be ashamed of.
That and everything else will become apparent soon enough anyway.

A good relationship is all about finding someone that accepts you for who you are. If you have to "train" for a relationship or constantly hide behind some facade then it's just going to end in disaster. Just be yourself, and if they don't like that then keep looking until you find someone that does.

This thread was more about looking for advice for the first time, not if I should mention if I'm inexperienced, I had a whole different thread dedicated towards that.

 

[sangheili90]

Have you discussed contraception? Also - does she know you are a virgin? If she knows, it will take a lot of pressure off you to ''perform''.

Hope their will be pics of your cock getting wet for the first time, lol

Enjoy, and keep us updated.

BTW, I really do want to take pics and maybe a video of my first time but that isn't entirely up to me to decide lol.

 

[ronin001]

I'm not a woman, so I have no idea what turns them on.....but I'd imagine being with a really nice looking guy, with a fit body and big hard cock would probably sexually excite her, similar to how I'd be aroused at the sight of a hot chick with a tight pussy that was ready for me to fuck.

Going back to your post though, that all makes sense and would probably have to be something I have to communicate with her.

Mistake number 1. You may not be a woman, true; but you had better find out what turns them on; and keeps them turned on.
I hate to tell you this but though you are tall, large penis-ed and in shape, you may get someone to go to bed with you once. The real challenge is will she do it a second time ?

 

[Shackleford]

A good relationship is all about finding someone that accepts you for who you are. If you have to "train" for a relationship or constantly hide behind some facade then it's just going to end in disaster. Just be yourself, and if they don't like that then keep looking until you find someone that does.

This needs to be engraved on a plaque and sold alongside those "Hang in there!" cat posters.

Yes, relationships take work over the long haul as you figure out merging two individual lives into one couple, but if you have to try that hard to even get one started, you're wasting your time. Cross it off and move on.

 

[conor]

BTW, I really do want to take pics and maybe a video of my first time but that isn't entirely up to me to decide lol.

It would capture a very special moment, and I think it would make a great souvenir.
Conor