View of Men Living At Home w/ Parent(s)

[D_Amyntas Lillydong]

i have to comment on this one. does he live alone? because i do and at times it isn't that great. can't stay busy all the time. plus a funny story is that i knew a fellow that had bought a house like at 28 and still lived with his parents for almost a couple years after that. claimed the house had to be "perfect" for him to live in. well his mom had enough, haha. but i could be wrong that even other cultures when immigrating to the U.S. in the late 1800's early 1900's would get a big house and a couple of generations would live in it. the hispanics that used to live next to me were the same way. my cousin who has had the same job right out of high school, married twice, goes and eats lunch at with his mother at her home everyday. family is important to some and independence is even more important to others. but not unless there are specific goals you're trying to accomplish like the others have said, it is time to take the final step to adulthood per our culture. but there is also nothing wrong with roommates.

I live on my own. It's not that great.

Really?. When I had roommates I couldn't wait to get my own place.

 

[Incocknito]

I live at home because if I rented a place on my own it would be ridiculously expensive and I would literally be living 'paycheck to paycheck' with very little left over to save.

Living at home (and paying rent) I am able to save several thousand pounds in only a few months.

When I have enough saved up for a downpayment on a house, and to cover the cost of furnishings, etc then I will move out.

But until then it doesn't make economic sense for me to financially cripple myself just to have my own place.

Most women don't seem to mind but really it depends on the woman. Most are realistic and many live at home with parents also (at least those in the 20-25ish age range).

There is a very small minority however - usually the ones who left home and got their own place when they were 20 (and are in a lot of debt because of it) - who would look down on you because you haven't done the same as them.

I see the choice to stay at home as a wise decision. Until you get to age 30, then it's just sad.

But for 18 to ~30 year olds living at home with your parents makes perfect economic sense.

 

[wallyj84]

I live on my own. It's not that great.

Really?. When I had roommates I couldn't wait to get my own place.

Yes, I live on my own and by myself. I've lived on my own ever since I graduated from college.

And, it's not that great. I like the solitude, but it's expensive living on your own and I don't think it has many benefits financially.

 

[Symphonic]

To be honest if I could live with my family again my social needs would be fulfilled... I get lonely living by myself sometimes in a foreign land.

 

[invisibleman]

but i think it kind of sucks that we are written off as losers if we still do.

it doesn't seem to be as bad if a woman lives at home with her parent(s). if i could i would live at home but that would wreak havoc on my social status. anyone want to share on reasons why a man living at home with mom is such a no-no?

Well, it seems that society frowns upon you having to live at home because to be a REAL MAN you have to deal with the world on its terms and not yours. So if you can't make it alone in this REAL WORLD, you aren't a REAL MAN. I guess that is adulthood.

If you live in a broke ass economy, you STILL should be able to be independent. Even if you have to leave home with a tent, walk out and live on your own. It is possible to be broke ass poor and still get pussy, ass, dick or whatever. I have known some rich fuckers with their own nice ass condos but still technically are bought or supported by their parents. So, I guess they are better than ones who live with their parents.

If people hate you for living at home, that is their problem. If they don't want to give you any pussy, dick, or ass because you live at home with Mom and Dad. Then, there is someone out there that will give you some sex...they may not want to have a serious relationship with you, that is all.

 

[D_Humper E Bogart]

Well, I live in London. Housing is insanely overpriced and since I enjoy my company single bedroom flats (apartments) are just too much!

Could do with a better paying job for starters.

 

[B_laborator]

If a guy is in his early, 'EARLY' twenties, living with his parents because he ____
[is finishing up with school].. [going through a messy divorce], etc. No problem, totally understand.

But I don't exactly have an affinity, let's say, to a guy who is 22, no job, no degree.. And complains that his parents don't give him enough privacy. lol..

Seeing someone like that means I have no problem being the 'nanny' or surrogate mother when 'mom' is gone.

 

[wallyj84]

If a guy is in his early, 'EARLY' twenties, living with his parents because he ____
[is finishing up with school].. [going through a messy divorce], etc. No problem, totally understand.

But I don't exactly have an affinity, let's say, to a guy who is 22, no job, no degree.. And complains that his parents don't give him enough privacy. lol..

Seeing someone like that means I have no problem being the 'nanny' or surrogate mother when 'mom' is gone.

I'm noticing this kind of thinking a lot, in this thread.

What I mean is this idea that if you live at home and aren't young or destitute, then you're some kind of loser. You're just a moocher without a job/degree/social life/etc.

I ask everyone to drop their preconceived notions of those that live with their parents being losers, to create a new image of them being normal people who just happen to live on their own.

 

[rob_just_rob]

The implication is that he is either:
a) poor,
b) a mama's boy,
c) a star trek nerd, and/or
d) unable to take care of himself.

I don't think any of these traits are attractive to many women.

 

[nipple_rubs]

Personally i live next door to my parents in a house belonging to them.
Im 32 have been living here for a year and it really does my head in but i feel really privilidged for them to offer me the house that i have.
i do pay £300.00 pounds a month which in therory is no where near enough but my parents do understand my situation.
I first broke up with my long term partner years ago and due to me not being able to afford a 800 pound mortage i had no other option but to try and find somewhere to live and luckily my parents offered me my current residence.
Do i like living under their nose ,to be honest no i hate it and would love to get a place of my own but cannot afford it here in the UK
IM NORMAL just struggle to survive the bills ,do i like it half cushty no,but sometimes these things have to be done im just lucky and can understand that we all dont want to live at home when where grown men.
and i dont think living with parents make you a loser as long as you have aspirations.

 

[voyeuristic]

I do tend to think of folks who still live with their parents after the age of 23 as losers, but I'd gladly date someone who lived in a treehouse in the woods, which a lot of people might find funny. I have housemates at 34, which is a bit embarrassing - but I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, where a one bedroom apartment averages over $1500/mo and this isn't entirely uncommon for my age group. I also just finished getting my degree (went back to school in my late twenties) and haven't found full-time work yet.

 

[B_Dustydo]

Loser. Mummy's boy. Tied to the apron strings.
You'll be dating the parents as well as him.
RUN, don't walk, away.

 

[D_Relentless Original]

Personally i live next door to my parents in a house belonging to them.
Im 32 have been living here for a year and it really does my head in but i feel really privilidged for them to offer me the house that i have.
i do pay £300.00 pounds a month which in therory is no where near enough but my parents do understand my situation.
I first broke up with my long term partner years ago and due to me not being able to afford a 800 pound mortage i had no other option but to try and find somewhere to live and luckily my parents offered me my current residence.
Do i like living under their nose ,to be honest no i hate it and would love to get a place of my own but cannot afford it here in the UK
IM NORMAL just struggle to survive the bills ,do i like it half cushty no,but sometimes these things have to be done im just lucky and can understand that we all dont want to live at home when where grown men.
and i dont think living with parents make you a loser as long as you have aspirations.

Good Post, i lived at home till i was 28, i worked around the house did jobs decorating, the gardens etc, payed a rent, saved so much for my own home and deposit, my parents looked after me i looked after them and i thank them for it and still do jobs around my mom's home and always do the gardens nobody does them as good as me, its paying back what i was given. I loved my time at home i worked i can clean, iron, cook and i have my own house now,but i still take my shirts to my mom for ironing she does them better than me and quicker.

I think if guys are living at home it's nobodys business except theirs, some of the posts on here are so judgemental when the facts or circumstances are not even known.

 

[D_Relentless Original]

Loser. Mummy's boy. Tied to the apron strings.
You'll be dating the parents as well as him.
RUN, don't walk, away.

Stupid comment.

 

[FuzzyKen]

I tend to look at this based on what I would call "mutual benefit". If both parties benefit from the presence of the other while allowing mutual freedom I have no problem with it.

I have problems with it when it is an unhealthy relationship either that the partents are hanging on to the kid unrealistically, or, the kid is hanging on to the parents because they have no direction in life.

My parents and I consider myself to have had (4) based on divorces and remarriages were not the average. I grew up with privileges that were not shared by many when I was a teen and in young adulthood. I had title on real property in the State of California before my 20th birthday and it was my parents that helped me do this.

I was living in a town-house condo, working and in college and paying taxes, HOA fees and the rest again before I was 21. Because my parents helped me, it came back to them. When because of age and health issues they could not control they needed my help, they were cared for by me.

I cared for a Stepfather who had been a Physician and Surgeon until he lost his life from cancer in 1984. Ten years later I cared for my biological Father under similar circumstances as he also left this world a victim of liver cancer. Finally I cared for my Mother who left this world simply by virtue of numerous health issues related to advancing age in 2001.

I either moved "good ol' Mom" into my home or I paid $7,500 per month for an assisted living rest home or care facility meeting her needs. By the time she came under my roof, her assets had been dessimated by the cost of her health care.

I had my problems dating because of it, and a few times it was not pleasant when people romantically interested "broke it off" because they became jealous of the time it took me to deal with a near total invalid. To me this was not a negative, it was in fact a positive. I used it to weed out the self-centered idiots. I met and married my life-partner when still caring for my Mom. It became a beautiful thing in that she had time to get to know the person I had chosen, and she even had a great sense of humor towards it.

Those placing automatic judgements without knowing or observing the whole situation have painted very unflattering pictures of themselves and whom it is that they place first.

This is no different from dating a man or woman with children from a previous marriage. It is an individual thing and each case must be taken and reviewed independently of all others without unfair or irrational judgements.

 

[bigbull29]

The implication is that he is either:
a) poor,
b) a mama's boy,
c) a star trek nerd, and/or
d) unable to take care of himself.

I don't think any of these traits are attractive to many women.

I know a lot of men with either or some of these traits and not one of them lives with his parents.:biggrin1:

 

[rob_just_rob]

I know a lot of men with either or some of these traits and not one of them lives with his parents.:biggrin1:

Living with parents implies a, b, c, and/or d, but I didn't state the converse to be necessarily true.

Venn diagram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[bigbull29]

Living with parents implies a, b, c, and/or d, but I didn't state the converse to be necessarily true.

Venn diagram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In some cultures, the man always lives with his mamma. How normal it is then depends on the culture you're brought up in. And it's really no one's business, either way.

Also, who a man lives with has little to say about how he is as a person.

 

[deleted395785]

Loser. Mummy's boy. Tied to the apron strings.
You'll be dating the parents as well as him.
RUN, don't walk, away.

so would a woman be a loser if she's under the same circumstances?

 

[HazelGod]

Stupid comment.

Not really.

A couple years after school (in our mid-20s), one of my buddies was still living with his parents...we constantly gave him shit about cutting the cord already, asking if mommy still wiped his bottom, stuff like that.

DD may have been generalizing, but aside from the few understandable exceptions that others have already mentioned for staying with parents, her generalization is on the money. Such guys tend to be overgrown adolescents, not independent men.

so would a woman be a loser if she's under the same circumstances?

There's a societal double-standard still in play with respect to women. I'm not saying it's fair...but that's how it is.