View of Men Living At Home w/ Parent(s)

[inspectahdck]

i live with my parents, i dont see that as a problem.
of course i dont wanna bring girls home.
im about to finish colege, and as soon as i find a solid job in what ive studied and made some economies, i will move on.

 

[NotSoDumb_Blonde]

what is it about guys that live at home with their parent(s) that women seem to look down on? ok, i dont live at home with my mother but i think it kind of sucks that we are written off as losers if we still do. it doesn't seem to be as bad if a woman lives at home with her parent(s).
if i could i would live at home but that would wreak havoc on my social status. anyone want to share on reasons why a man living at home with mom is such a no-no?

I think it all depends on your age, the circumstances and what your like. It's all so individualized, BUT -- an older guy, living at home and never having left home? It's just not...well, doesn't seem to inspire a sense of independence/confidence.

This is in no way a reflection on you personally -- just a response to the general question of what some women could see wrong about a guy living at home....

 

[D_Maurice Mountlilly]

after my break up from my fiance,and being laid off and out of work for 5 months before i found my current job, i had to move back home with my mother,she was so happy to have me back,cause my step- father passed away only a year before that.
and i'm 36(just turned 37 today actually)
and yes it sucks,especially when i see people and they ask me where i'm at now or how i'm living.it's down right embarassing.i feel like less of a human.it's so embarassing i can't even face my biological father who's been trying to see me for 31 years.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

after my break up from my fiance,and being laid off and out of work for 5 months before i found my current job, i had to move back home with my mother,she was so happy to have me back,cause my step- father passed away only a year before that.
and i'm 36(just turned 37 today actually)
and yes it sucks,especially when i see people and they ask me where i'm at now or how i'm living.it's down right embarassing.i feel like less of a human.it's so embarassing i can't even face my biological father who's been trying to see me for 31 years.

If you are temporarily laid off you arent in the same situation as a life long college student who "studies" liberal arts for 12 years while driving a BMW his parents pay the insurance on so he can play his Play Station on all of his offtime on his parents electricity.

Having your parent(s) or yourself fall upon unusually hard times and in the meantime doing what you can to get back upon your feet quickly is not what most women consider to be a moocher.

A moocher is LIFESTYLE. It's a delicate art....like the Engineer who lives with his parents, makes more than they do and doesnt want to partake in anything that might take his paycheck. He seems to forever hoard his money or spend it ridiculously. This is a man who is afraid of adulthood.

A man who lives with his parents as a form of not having to spend his own money or have to work hard for things in life is the type of person that ruins the "Living with parents" phrase and should be looked as non-dating/marriage material. He would be a horrible mate to have. Sadly these are the people who end up with women who dont look at this as unusual and tend to ovulate a lot without using forms of birth control.

BTW, Happy Birthday Dougie!

 

[Pitbull]

(just turned 37 today actually)

:birthday:

 

[Principessa]

If you are temporarily laid off you arent in the same situation as a life long college student who "studies" liberal arts for 12 years while driving a BMW his parents pay the insurance on so he can play his Play Station on all of his offtime on his parents electricity.

Having your parent(s) or yourself fall upon unusually hard times and in the meantime doing what you can to get back upon your feet quickly is not what most women consider to be a moocher.

A moocher is LIFESTYLE. It's a delicate art....like the Engineer who lives with his parents, makes more than they do and doesnt want to partake in anything that might take his paycheck. He seems to forever hoard his money or spend it ridiculously. This is a man who is afraid of adulthood.

A man who lives with his parents as a form of not having to spend his own money or have to work hard for things in life is the type of person that ruins the "Living with parents" phrase and should be looked as non-dating/marriage material. He would be a horrible mate to have. Sadly these are the people who end up with women who dont look at this as unusual and tend to ovulate a lot without using forms of birth control.

BTW, Happy Birthday Dougie!

I agree with Praying Mantis 100%.

 

[voidout]

exactly! like i said...giving people bad names and shit.

happy bday doug.

 

[B_jeepguy2]

If you are temporarily laid off you arent in the same situation as a life long college student who "studies" liberal arts for 12 years while driving a BMW his parents pay the insurance on so he can play his Play Station on all of his offtime on his parents electricity.

Having your parent(s) or yourself fall upon unusually hard times and in the meantime doing what you can to get back upon your feet quickly is not what most women consider to be a moocher.

A moocher is LIFESTYLE. It's a delicate art....like the Engineer who lives with his parents, makes more than they do and doesnt want to partake in anything that might take his paycheck. He seems to forever hoard his money or spend it ridiculously. This is a man who is afraid of adulthood.

A man who lives with his parents as a form of not having to spend his own money or have to work hard for things in life is the type of person that ruins the "Living with parents" phrase and should be looked as non-dating/marriage material. He would be a horrible mate to have. Sadly these are the people who end up with women who dont look at this as unusual and tend to ovulate a lot without using forms of birth control.

BTW, Happy Birthday Dougie!

LOL A lot of my friends are just like that engineer! Seriously, I think this is the case with many children from fairly wealthy families. I went to a top tier University and when I first got out of school, I had one corporate recruiter from a large Fortune 500 company offer me such a pathetic salary that I actually asked her, "You ARE aware that I am college graduate aren't you?" She said "OH YES, you must have a college degree to even be considered for this position." I declined the offer and told her that if I wanted to GIVE my time away I would join the Peace Corps! LOL

It is pretty depressing when you get out of school and realize that NOBODY wants to pay you enough to afford anything close to the kind of lifestyle you have had for the first 20 years of your life, so the best option for many people, is to move back home. If the folks live in a five bedroom 4 bath McMansion with an inground pool in a nice neighborhood in the burbs, why in the hell would you want to pay rent or go get a mortgage and live paycheck to paycheck to buy a "starter home" in a not so nice neighborhood where you really don't want to be, but it is all you can afford. It just does not make economic sense!

If you move back home with Mom and Dad, you can still live in a really nice neighborhood, and spend your money of fun stuff like new BMWs every couple of years, flying lessons, ski trips to Vail or Park City, European vacations, surfing trips to Belieze, etc, etc. and still have some left over to put in the bank or invest. If you moved out you would probably have to drive an old POS jalopy, and would be WASTING all of your money paying rent or making mortgage payments on a dumpy starter home in a neighborhood that you can't wait to move the hell out of as soon as you get a raise...which probably ain't gonna happen any time soon in this economy!

 

[helgaleena]

Well, jeepguy, if your parents don't mind having you underfoot, you are indeed blessed. Many parents treasure having the children gone and grown so that they have their privacy again.

 

[breeze]

This is nothing more than thinly veiled character assassination. Its much more an economical issue than a social one. Instead of saying why doesn't the economy produce enough jobs so that everyone can make a decent living its turned around so that the victim is blamed. At this moment there are 30 or more unemployed million people chasing 2 or 3 million jobs. It was just a few years ago that newsweek featured an article that stated that females were the primary wage earners in half of all the families. So what does that make the men in those families. Half the population has bascially a zero net worth. What does it make them. The real issues are job creation and living wages. This is a fake issue. There are a lot of employed people who have character flaws to say the least.

 

[helgaleena]

Yes. Eat the Rich.

 

[invisibleman]

This is nothing more than thinly veiled character assassination. It's much more an economical issue than a social one. Instead of saying why doesn't the economy produce enough jobs so that everyone can make a decent living its turned around so that the victim is blamed. At this moment there are 30 or more unemployed million people chasing 2 or 3 million jobs. It was just a few years ago that NEWSWEEK featured an article that stated that females were the primary wage earners in half of all the families. So what does that make the men in those families? Half the population has basically a zero net worth. What does it make them?

The real issues are job creation and living wages. This is a fake issue. There are a lot of employed people who have character flaws to say the least.

Yeah. Money and employment are important if you want a relationship. Losses of both are causes of relationship dissolution.

 

[freyasworld]

I have 3 kids at home, my husband goes nuts with me because he can't have sex when he feels like it, I have 19 year old in the next room, watching tv, playing music till 3 or 4 in the morning so I don't want him hearing what his mum gets upto!

So we have to book into a hotel if they are all at home, but guess what that's a small sacrifice to make to have 3 wonderful sons around me.

If they want to stay till they are 30 or 40 then that's upto them, this is their home as well the family home.

 

[helgaleena]

freyasworld, you too are blessed that you can afford the hotel for your 'dates!' I am so glad to hear it.

 

[ConstantComment]

I have 3 kids at home, my husband goes nuts with me because he can't have sex when he feels like it, I have 19 year old in the next room, watching tv, playing music till 3 or 4 in the morning so I don't want him hearing what his mum gets upto!

So we have to book into a hotel if they are all at home, but guess what that's a small sacrifice to make to have 3 wonderful sons around me.

If they want to stay till they are 30 or 40 then that's upto them, this is their home as well the family home.

Just be careful, I understand that PEter Mandelson is after you. The longer they stay with you the more your wealth gets burned up (so the government can't take it in inheritance tax) and the less your sons create wealth (that the government can't tax).

I heard on the news that the UK government has published pamphlets instrcuting parents on how to manage their job less children.

(IF the government worked on (real) job creation, they wouldn't need to put that pamphlet out)

 

[silverheart]

I felt the need to contribute to this thread because I live at home and while I'm not happy or proud about it, it is the best solution for me personally. Everyones situation is different. You might be able to move out at 18 years but maybe they were splitting the rent up with friends. Most people went the college route and accumulated a lot of debt and the prospect of renting in this turbulent economy is just daunting. Also a previous poster made a lot of points that you have to be a numbers person to understand. It takes 2 incomes to buy and maintain a home not to mention the unjustified sky rockted prices the last decade. The prices in some states have gone down considerably but in NJ the prices are just starting to come down gradually. I also live in the highest tax state so for me this is my only option.

But times are changing and you won't see as many high salary jobs anymore. The balance of power is shifting and for some americans they are going to have to learn to adapt. I applaud parents who care enough about their kids to let them save up for their future and I also applaud those sensibile enough to live at home based on the alternatives. The American culture has to change. You can't graduate from highschool, get married, and buy a home fresh out of the starting gate.

And for those of you who are making ends meet while supporting yourself I can applaud that as well. It certainly isn't easy but I just hope for your own sake that you have more dollars coming in then out.

 

[Epicfailguy]

i'm still livin at home with mom n dad too,i'm a student and chamber rents are f*cking insane here in the netherlands
also,i'm still 18 :biggrin1:

so i'd rather commute an hour each day and have food heating and and calm place to study :wink:

if im done with studying i'd move out tho

its kinda sad tho if your 40 having a 9/5 job and still living at home with mom...

 

[Trouty]

I have 3 kids at home, my husband goes nuts with me because he can't have sex when he feels like it, I have 19 year old in the next room, watching tv, playing music till 3 or 4 in the morning so I don't want him hearing what his mum gets upto!

So we have to book into a hotel if they are all at home, but guess what that's a small sacrifice to make to have 3 wonderful sons around me.

If they want to stay till they are 30 or 40 then that's upto them, this is their home as well the family home.

I so know what you mean. As a result of having two teenage sons I have become one of the quickest/discreetest f*cks in all of England PS that is not a good thing :redface:

 

[whatireallywant]

I'm having to move out of my (own place) apartment and in with a roommate. I'm not happy about this, but I've had trouble with on-again, off-again unemployment, and only being able to find temporary jobs, and sky-high credit card debt due to using the credit card to pay rent, utilities, and car repairs.

The only reason I'm not willing to move back in with my dad is WHERE he lives. He still lives where I grew up, in rural Indiana. I never fit in there and life for me was very difficult socially there - not to mention that there aren't any jobs there!

Of course I hope to find a steady job that pays enough to pay my bills again! I had that for several years, but now I no longer do.

As far as men living at home w/parents, it depends - if they're broke like I am, I understand it. If they're helping their parents out either financially or with parents' health problems, I understand it. If they're deadbeats who don't want to find a job and just want to sponge off their parents, no that's not good at all. And as for the ones who have jobs that pay well and live with their parents anyway, I'm actually ok with that too.

Granted, I don't want to date a guy who's broke - I'm broke myself and we couldn't do anything if he was broke too! My longest term relationship was with a guy who was broke, and we were together for a long time, but for a lot of that time I had a steady job and I paid both of our ways for our dates. I can't do that anymore.

 

[keeptheteethout]

This was actually an issue that caused me, personally, a great deal of grief. I graduated from school five years ago. I live in New York City, where even the most remote neighborhoods from any real job whatsoever have ridiculous rent costs. I had fifty thousand dollars (more or less) in student loan responsibilities, worked 80 hours on light weeks, and yes, still have to live with my mother.

Even as an educated, working professional, I was on the business end of a great deal of social pressure. Women (even those older than me, who lived with their own parents!) would think I was some sort of serial-killer because I live at home (as of this posting, I'm only in my mid-20s.) My friends whose parents were more well-to-do helped subsidize both their educations and their first apartments while they "figured things out," factors which are conveniently forgotten when they chide me for still not having my own place. I ended up suffering from anxiety attacks and severe depression as a result for a pretty long time, due to the excessive pressure that comes with trying to live up to everybody else's socioeconomic barometer.

The truth is, a lot of people are just plain shallow. Still more folks out there are short-sighted and have no understanding of the sort of things you may have to deal with. However you want to break it down, they simply don't care about you--or whatever it is that put you in your situation.

So, really, why bother caring about them or what they have to think? Just try to make your moves on your own timetable, and remember--everybody has hardships from time to time. Those same folks who treat you like a pariah now run just as much of a risk of being forced to move back home as you do.