Virgin 22

orionstars

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Hi I’m 22 and still a virgin. I’ve blown 2 guys and been sexual assaulted. Before all that, sex and relationships weren’t a priority. To this day they still aren’t the biggest things for me, I feel pressured at times to like that stuff. But I’m so lost I think.

I mean I’ve never dated nor kissed a guy. I don’t know wether it helps that my penis is quite small or how unattractive a lot of men try to-make me feel but I feel good in my own skin.

I feel like I’m on a journey at the moment, I’m trying to be healthier and more active and happier. But there’s this little voice who is saying date, have sex, get a bf, have a fight etc haha. It’s just like I said I’m lost. My mind and body are not giving the same signals.

If anyone can help to offer advice here or in private.
 
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Nonsenseboy

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I think being gay makes it harder for some to have a “normal” sense of intimacy in relationships.

I’ve never being sexually assaulted but I don’t think it makes things easier.

You said it yourself, you are on your on journey. An advice would be “put yourself out there” meet new people and start building meaningful connections but don’t know how out of the closet you are. Or how affected by the pandemic your town is.

Being in the closet limits my options for connection so I find my self overthinking my few sexual interactions and even sexualizing some non sexual because my body asks for it.
 

DiamondJoe

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I think being gay makes it harder for some to have a “normal” sense of intimacy in relationships.

I’ve never being sexually assaulted but I don’t think it makes things easier.

You said it yourself, you are on your on journey. An advice would be “put yourself out there” meet new people and start building meaningful connections but don’t know how out of the closet you are. Or how affected by the pandemic your town is.

Being in the closet limits my options for connection so I find my self overthinking my few sexual interactions and even sexualizing some non sexual because my body asks for it.
*applauds politely*

Very well said.
 

halcyondays

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Your mind says no but your body says go! :)

I hold with those who say in your own time but encourage you to violate your comfort zone from time to time IF you think/feel it's holding you back. Sometimes you have to risk rejection & criticism to put yourself out there.

It's really positive that you feel good in your skin. It will help you not to take rejection personally.

Your call. :cool:
 

Nigel Atkinson

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Hi I’m 22 and still a virgin. I’ve blown 2 guys and been sexual assaulted. Before all that, sex and relationships weren’t a priority. To this day they still aren’t the biggest things for me, I feel pressured at times to like that stuff. But I’m so lost I think.

I mean I’ve never dated nor kissed a guy. I don’t know wether it helps that my penis is quite small or how unattractive a lot of men try to-make me feel but I feel good in my own skin.

I feel like I’m on a journey at the moment, I’m trying to be healthier and more active and happier. But there’s this little voice who is saying date, have sex, get a bf, have a fight etc haha. It’s just like I said I’m lost. My mind and body are not giving the same signals.

If anyone can help to offer advice here or in private.

I'm very sorry you went through being assaulted. Don't feel pressured by society to do things that you aren't ready for. Setting boundaries for yourself is important in a journey of one's self. Take each day. One step at a time. Being single has so many benefits. Figure out what's best for you and what you want in life. Take care and I wish you nothing but the best.
 
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deleted1074483

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hey mate, as others have said, sorry to hear you were assaulted - i hope you've taken appropriate action to report that and also to deal with any emotional distress and trauma from that?

As to being 22 and a virgin, don't believe the hype, there are lots of guys and girls out there virgins at your age and later - my own current bf was a virgin when i met him and he was 23, so i'm not sure its particularly unusual.

you've also talked about your journey and becoming happier in your self and more active and healthy and whilst a cliche it is also pretty true, that you are more likely to attract another person (of the right type/for the right reason) when you are feeling good about yourself. Why? because it does show, and guys are attracted to people comfortable with who they are/in their own skin.

so keep up the healthy lifestyle, go out and do stuff (as much you can during covid) to 'put yourself out there' whether thats joining gyms, clubs, pubbing or clubbing, whatever your interest is/are and you will meet like minded guys.

And also just be open to it happening - my current bf chatted me up whilst he was gardening on the estate where i live - it can sometimes come in unexpected and surprising ways!!

good luck
 
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