Virgin Bisexual With Fears

DLover12

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Okay so long story short I’ve jacked off to gay porn since I first knew about it (13-14 years), however I’ve also done it to straight and a couple of times to lesbian porn. That being said, I’m also a virgin and I’m scared of not liking sex with girls.

I love girls; I’ve fallen in love with them and their bodies are fantastic. However, I’m more aroused by men’s bodies and etc., but I’ve never had the chance to sleep with any of either sex.
I started talking to this girl about a week ago, and we like each other but I’m scared of not wanting to have sex with her or anything related when and if the time comes. If it were with a man (FYI I’ve never fallen in love with one) I think I’d be more down to sex.

What do I do? I really love women and want to know their bodies as well, something I’ve done since I’ve had memory (for both sexes tbh) but there’s a fear in me that does not let me fantasize or enjoy the thought of it.

advice, experience, anything? Thanks for reading
 

DiomedesXVI

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With my first gf, I had the same fears. And first time we had sex, I even had trouble staying hard, and couldn’t even cum. I was worried it was the norm, but no. When we did it our second time, it wasn’t easy still and it took me time to cum, but I did cum and enjoy it. Every time after that, I got more and more confident and enjoyed it more and more until where I had zero problems getting it up and making sweet sweet love to her many times a day.

Point is, sex is like everything else in life - you have to get used to it. Many people aren’t going to have their first time end up as a magical paradise, that’s just bs the movie industry makes us think happens. Nah, most first times, people are nervous as hell, have trouble performing, have trouble orgasming, things are uncomfortable, hot, messy, sweaty, maybe even gross. But the more you do it, the better your technique and confidence in sex will become. You’ll get there, and a few bad sex experiences should never define all of sex for you. Sex is wonderful, but it’s never perfect.
 

Redwoodsack

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Okay so long story short I’ve jacked off to gay porn since I first knew about it (13-14 years), however I’ve also done it to straight and a couple of times to lesbian porn. That being said, I’m also a virgin and I’m scared of not liking sex with girls.

I love girls; I’ve fallen in love with them and their bodies are fantastic. However, I’m more aroused by men’s bodies and etc., but I’ve never had the chance to sleep with any of either sex.
I started talking to this girl about a week ago, and we like each other but I’m scared of not wanting to have sex with her or anything related when and if the time comes. If it were with a man (FYI I’ve never fallen in love with one) I think I’d be more down to sex.

What do I do? I really love women and want to know their bodies as well, something I’ve done since I’ve had memory (for both sexes tbh) but there’s a fear in me that does not let me fantasize or enjoy the thought of it.

advice, experience, anything? Thanks for reading
I went through something similar growing up man so ttust me youre not alone.

What i can tell you is that with guys i felt mote confident and comfortable initally because i think i was well versed in dick and how it worked, i knew what i thought felt good so it couldnt be to far off for another guys.

For women although i love women (and am currently in a long term relationship with a woman who i love and we have crazy amazing sex) i was always nervous i was not gunna know what i was doing, or do it wrong, or not be good enough, etc.

When i did lose my vcard it was to a girl and that itself is a long story and only a few months after that i hooked up with a dude. I had a great time with both and i still consider myself bi (heterofelxible) but i fell in love with women and fucking them and became very good at it.

I explored thoughout college so ive had my ups and downs with both. My humble advise explore man see what you like you might be bi, you might be gay, you might be str8, you might fall somewhere in the middle but youd never know until you try. If you find both attractive it might be for different reasons and just because you find someone attractive doesnt mean youll have a romantic attraction to them. There are so many varible that you just have to safely explore yourself and learn over time.

Thats my 2 cents sorry about the long windedness. Feel free to dm me if you want someone to chat with man i remeber how confusing of a time it is before you know yourself and sometimes all you need is information to help you navigate the road.
 

Redwoodsack

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With my first gf, I had the same fears. And first time we had sex, I even had trouble staying hard, and couldn’t even cum. I was worried it was the norm, but no. When we did it our second time, it wasn’t easy still and it took me time to cum, but I did cum and enjoy it. Every time after that, I got more and more confident and enjoyed it more and more until where I had zero problems getting it up and making sweet sweet love to her many times a day.

Point is, sex is like everything else in life - you have to get used to it. Many people aren’t going to have their first time end up as a magical paradise, that’s just bs the movie industry makes us think happens. Nah, most first times, people are nervous as hell, have trouble performing, have trouble orgasming, things are uncomfortable, hot, messy, sweaty, maybe even gross. But the more you do it, the better your technique and confidence in sex will become. You’ll get there, and a few bad sex experiences should never define all of sex for you. Sex is wonderful, but it’s never perfect.
This is some amazing advice bro!
 

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This is some amazing advice bro!
Thanks man. Wonder if we shouldn’t also discuss penis size and sex? No idea if op is large like you and I though. But I definitely feel like sex with a larger sized penis is probably a bit different prep-wise and fear-wise to that of an average sized penis. For example, worries about condoms fitting right, worries about fitting inside a partner, worries about the sex being painful for the partner, etc.

Still, same ideas apply - sex takes getting used to. If you’re bigger downstairs, take your time, check with your partner by establishing good communication, and trust that if something feels bad or requires more preparation, that your partner will tell you. If you’re thicker than 5.5 around, I suggest going with larger sized condoms. Many people think condom size is for length, but it’s actually for girth. A condom that is uncomfortably tight is fun for no one. And just to repeat - slow and steady wins the race and makes it fun for everyone involved.
 

Redwoodsack

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Thanks man. Wonder if we shouldn’t also discuss penis size and sex? No idea if op is large like you and I though. But I definitely feel like sex with a larger sized penis is probably a bit different prep-wise and fear-wise to that of an average sized penis. For example, worries about condoms fitting right, worries about fitting inside a partner, worries about the sex being painful for the partner, etc.

Still, same ideas apply - sex takes getting used to. If you’re bigger downstairs, take your time, check with your partner by establishing good communication, and trust that if something feels bad or requires more preparation, that your partner will tell you. If you’re thicker than 5.5 around, I suggest going with larger sized condoms. Many people think condom size is for length, but it’s actually for girth. A condom that is uncomfortably tight is fun for no one. And just to repeat - slow and steady wins the race and makes it fun for everyone involved.
This is VERY TRUE, my first time the condom was too small and it hurt so the pain distracted me, which made it more difficult to keep hard. Nothing tears away your cinfidence like losing your hardon, but your right most 1st times for everyone are terrible cause i know mine was.

And having a big dick did play a factor in it because i was definitely worried about hurting my partner which made me more nervous which then compounded the problem! Slow and steady with open communication is by far the best solution. A lot of factor go into sex and as much as we are taught to believe that all sex is great for guys and we are automatically good at it, blah blah blah. Its bullshit we have just as much going on and the worst part is ours is 100% visible which makes it even more devistating.

@DiomedesXVI you and i sound like we had damn near the same experience our first time around.
 

DiomedesXVI

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This is VERY TRUE, my first time the condom was too small and it hurt so the pain distracted me, which made it more difficult to keep hard. Nothing tears away your cinfidence like losing your hardon, but your right most 1st times for everyone are terrible cause i know mine was.

And having a big dick did play a factor in it because i was definitely worried about hurting my partner which made me more nervous which then compounded the problem! Slow and steady with open communication is by far the best solution. A lot of factor go into sex and as much as we are taught to believe that all sex is great for guys and we are automatically good at it, blah blah blah. Its bullshit we have just as much going on and the worst part is ours is 100% visible which makes it even more devistating.

@DiomedesXVI you and i sound like we had damn near the same experience our first time around.
Part of this is why my first time was bad too. My main worry was never having done anything with a girl before other than one bj and I didn’t cum from it, so I was worried I was just not sexually compatible with girls.

But for our first time, my gf bought regular sized condoms and it was just very tough to fit it on my penis. And when it was on, it was so uncomfortably tight, and part of why I had trouble staying erect. We tried having sex for over an hour, by the end of the hour, I still hadn’t cum, and when I pulled out, the condom wasn’t on my dick anymore. Turns out, it was too tight and ended up slipping off inside her, and we had to dig it out as my thrusts ended up pushing it deep inside her. So that was a bit scary.

I also was scared of hurting her, I didn’t really know I had a really big dick back then, but I was worried cause it took a couple times trying to push my dick inside her as my dick is very thick.

I’m just glad we eventually got used to sex with each other and it became highly pleasurable for us both after we started communicating better and buying properly sized condoms.
 

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Wow thank you so much for the replies and I’m glad to hear your experiences turned out great and you guys are comfortable with yourselves.
I’ll give it time, we’re still talking and nothing serious has happened yet (thanks, quarantine). I am very interested, tho, and if anything I will gladly update you.

Thank you as well for the condom advice too!! Will keep that in mind for when the moment comes, because I’ve had friends who also had issues with the size and it was directly painful.
If it’s not awkward, can I ask how big you guys are? I don’t have much to brag about but hopefully it’s not an inconvenience when it comes to probably hurting my partner or anything like that.

thanks again!!!
 
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Wow thank you so much for the replies and I’m glad to hear your experiences turned out great and you guys are comfortable with yourselves.
I’ll give it time, we’re still talking and nothing serious has happened yet (thanks, quarantine). I am very interested, tho, and if anything I will gladly update you.

Thank you as well for the condom advice too!! Will keep that in mind for when the moment comes, because I’ve had friends who also had issues with the size and it was directly painful.
If it’s not awkward, can I ask how big you guys are? I don’t have much to brag about but hopefully it’s not an inconvenience when it comes to probably hurting my partner or anything like that.

thanks again!!!
8 long 6 around for me bro. Not awkard at all man.
 

DiomedesXVI

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Wow thank you so much for the replies and I’m glad to hear your experiences turned out great and you guys are comfortable with yourselves.
I’ll give it time, we’re still talking and nothing serious has happened yet (thanks, quarantine). I am very interested, tho, and if anything I will gladly update you.

Thank you as well for the condom advice too!! Will keep that in mind for when the moment comes, because I’ve had friends who also had issues with the size and it was directly painful.
If it’s not awkward, can I ask how big you guys are? I don’t have much to brag about but hopefully it’s not an inconvenience when it comes to probably hurting my partner or anything like that.

thanks again!!!
Well it’s best to be prepared, regardless of your penis size. If you think you’re bigger than average, then it doesn’t hurt to look at options.

I’m in the 8 range but closer to 9 long, girth though is a very thick 6.5. Not sure about the size of the other guy, but his girth is really prominent.
 
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DiomedesXVI

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Post data: what are your experiences with size? Is average good? Idk I’ve had this insecurity for a while although my size isn’t bad at all, maybe I can get greedy.
I’m not sure how much I can comment since I’m not average size. Been with average sized guys and it’s been just fine. Depends on your role in sex maybe. I’m usually a top when with a guy though.
 

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I think you're thinking about it.

If you fancy here, if you are attracted to her - then as others said, you should enjoy it as well.

don't put too much pressure on yourself chap. Go with the flow, and enjoy yourself - there are no perfect firsts, so enjoy the ride.
 

Redwoodsack

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Damn that’s impressive!! I’m kind of 6.2” and
(Sometimes 7” bone pressed), don’t know the girth
Tbh it’s comforting to find people to talk about this stuff, thank you all for being so amazing and supportive <3
Definitely bro, i remember hiw scary it was to go through this with no one to talk to, so im more tgan willin to do what i can to help.
 
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Redwoodsack

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Post data: what are your experiences with size? Is average good? Idk I’ve had this insecurity for a while although my size isn’t bad at all, maybe I can get greedy.
Being average is good as long as you A) ypu learn how to use it, B) listen to your partner about what feels good, and C) go in with confidence.

90% of the time id say the thing that will tear you down is your lack of confidence in yourself. You could have the most amazing meat on the planet and still be terrible at sex if you dont have cinfidence in yourself. Ive known guys who in all honesty are not big by any means still get laid all the time with repeat customers just because of their openess to their partner(s) and cinfudence in themselves.
 
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DiomedesXVI

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Okay so I was bored and measured it at its max point and it's 6,3" (7,1" bone pressed) in length, with 5,5" in girth. I know this isn't the other healthy penis forum but I would love to read what you think!
It’s average mostly, that girth is impressive though. Best thing about girth is that women really enjoy girth more than length.