carolinacurious: ok, I did a little looking for you... (this pops up in the other topics as well)
http://www.lpsg.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=10123
http://www.lpsg.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=9817
go to this link
same as appears a few lines down)
http://www.sexuality.org/l/incoming/analrule.html
some of my previous comments:
In the porn stories it's always "it hurt for a moment but then felt wonderful." I've known a few people who claimed that this was the case but real life is seldom so kind. You both need to be prepared for the possibility that you may take your time, do everything right and still not be able at first. Lube between the legs can be handy if it comes to that. Patience and practice WILL pay off.
With a 6+" girth I don't really know what sort of "warm up" you're thinking of, just the head is going to be tough.
Personally, I had a really rough time at first but love it now.
http://www.sexuality.org/l/incoming/analrule.html
"When a finger, object or penis is intorduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion. Pain will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress they will eventually collapse and the pain subside, unless further damage is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly from the absence of discomfort.
Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire."
AND
Glad you liked the info. I thought of this, it may be obvious or it may have been in that link I sent, but the thing to remember is to push out. At first, everything is counterintuitive: you're trying to let him 'in', so why would you push 'out'. Tightening up may seem like you are holding him in but in reality you will force him out and cause yourself instant spasms and lots of pain. The thing to remember will be to push out and when you get hit with a spasm get back to that 'push out' mindset fast.
LATER, you will get into advanced techniques and use that muscle for his and your pleasure, but at first don't even think about it, just try to stay loose and relaxed.
There really is a lot to be said for a gentle anal massage until you open up, then partially inserting AND HOLDING STILL, this will cause your inner sphincter to relax, and then hopefully you'll be grabbing his ass and pulling him in.
There may be a totally different sort of pain with full insertion, for now it's a "Dr. It hurts when I do this situation."