Waht a way to measure dicks

Discussion in 'Underwear, Clothing, and Appearance Issues' started by D_Sonny Daise, Dec 29, 2005.

  1. D_Sonny Daise

    D_Sonny Daise Account Disabled

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    I found this on the internet. Don't tell Aunt Jana and Daddy Freddie 53 I posted this. They think there are TOO many penis size charts on the LSPG market as it it. But this one.... Never seen one like it. What do you guys think about this? No I haven't tried it. Don't have the money right now to go buy size d battereis.

    HERE GOES...........................................!!!

    Want to know how you measure up? We'll teach you, using household items. (No ruler required!) Do the following tests, add up your points, and you'll know if you have a huge cock or not.
    1-3 points: You're average
    4-5 points: On the large side
    5+ points: Big swinging dick


    Measure Length: With a Sheet of Paper
    Step 1: Take a standard sheet of paper, 8.5 by 11 inches, and fold it in half like a book.
    Step 2: Compare the shorter edge of the folded paper to your penis. The length of that side is 5.5 inches.
    Longer than the paper? Give yourself 1 point.


    Measure Length: With a Beer Can
    Hold a 12 oz. soda or beer can alongside your penis and compare the length. The can is 4.8 inches long, or just over 4¾ inches.
    Longer than the beer can? Give yourself 1 point.
    Compare your girth to the beer can. Larger than the beer can? Give yourself 100 points and explore a career in adult films.


    Measure Length: With a Dollar Bill
    Take a crisp dollar or other bill, hold it alongside your penis and compare the length. It is important that it not be folded or curled so the edge will be straight. The bill is 6⅛ inches.
    Longer than the dollar bill? Give yourself 1 point.


    Measure Girth: With a Toilet Paper Tube
    Take an empty cardboard tube from a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, and try to fit your penis inside.
    Can't fit in the tube? Give yourself 1 point.
    Do the same with the cardboard tube from a paper towel roll. Can't fit? Give yourself 1 point.


    Measure Girth: With an Envelope
    Step 1: Take a standard business envelope and roll it into a tube so that the long edges meet. Tape in place.
    Step 2: See if you can fit your penis inside the opening. The tube will have a diameter of 1.3 inches and a circumference of 4.125 inches.
    Larger than the tube? Give yourself 1 point.


    Measure Girth: With a D Battery
    Take a "D" sized battery and hold it up to the end of your penis. Compare the girth of the battery to the girth of your tool. The battery is 1¼ inches in diameter and about 4 inches in circumference.
    Larger than the battery in diameter? Give yourself 1 point


    Measure Volume: With Water Displacement
    Step 1: Fill a graduated measuring cup with water (preferably one with metric markings), and submerge your entire penis so that the water spills out over the edge of the cup (you'll want to place the cup in a pan to catch the water).
    Step 2: Note how much the water level fell by checking the markings on the cup. 1 ml = 1 cubic centimeter, so if your penis displaced 100 ml of water, its volume is 100 cubic centimeters. To convert cubic cm to cubic inches, multiply by 0.06. So, 100 cc = about 6 cubic inches.
    Displace more than 100ml? Give yourself 1 point.


    Now total up your points and go back to the top of the page and see how you measure up.


    Make sure to post your results here. have fun.

    And I added one item. Those posting 14 inches or longer. Get ready... you may score ZERO points.

    Aunt Jana has a brand new set of cookware and serving dishes she would like to donate for guys to measure their cocks in. She can have the largest size engraved on the sides of the cookware and dishes fo all her guests for dinner to read as they are dipping out mashed potatoes, green beans, etc.

    Warning: Word on the street is Aunt Jana is charging for this event unless of course you score over 5 in which case.....she might accept payment in other ways. Or was that Madame Zora who said that.

    Freddie 54, not to be confused with freddie53.
     
  2. Mr.Grande

    Mr.Grande New Member

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    Great post. I thought this was a pretty fun way of measuring. Definitely beats the old fashioned way. Results: Big Swinging Dick.
     
  3. B_Danceswithlamps

    B_Danceswithlamps New Member

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    Yes, actually, I have seen this before... :D:D I got lots of points... (girth points...)
     
  4. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    That twinge in your intestines
    Interesting.
     
  5. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I scored a deluxe set of Emeril cookware.
     
  6. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    For sure, but does a ruler have a marking on it that says 'big swinging dick'? :D
     
  7. ericbear

    Gold Member

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  8. D_Cliebert_Chodechoker

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    are u suppose to do this flaccid or hard?
     
  9. bigenough4u

    bigenough4u New Member

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    this was fun!!! I got a 5 - on the large side...but VERY VERY close to a 6
     
  10. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

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    I thought you might be on to something with that D battery ... but am disappointed to see that electrochemical potential enters into this ritual only peripherally. Phooey on that.
     
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