My marriage is over. I'm definitely NOT going to wait for another one before having sex. Why wait? What's the benefit? I'm horny now.
Waiting for marriage to fuck
- Thread starter B_lrgeggs
- Start date
- hung,
No sexual intercourse with either of my wives prior to marriage.
The first one was power hungery female who divorced me for her sister's ex.
I was an enlisted man and her second husband was an officer. The marriage lasted five years before she divorced me.
The second marriage is still working and has been since 1972.
Sex is what one makes of it. I can not comprehend that there is any bad sex; however some is better than others. This is true within a marriage and also outside of marriage.
The first one was power hungery female who divorced me for her sister's ex.
I was an enlisted man and her second husband was an officer. The marriage lasted five years before she divorced me.
The second marriage is still working and has been since 1972.
Sex is what one makes of it. I can not comprehend that there is any bad sex; however some is better than others. This is true within a marriage and also outside of marriage.
I'm wondering how many people view sex as just a leisure activity to be given to who ever is around and willing. It's interesting how some need to make fun of or even hate someone who's willing to wait until their married. If 2 ppl are really in love it would seem they work past problems in the bedroom.
nicenycdick
Sexy Member
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2007
- Posts
- 1,785
- Media
- 1
- Likes
- 45
- Points
- 133
- Location
- New York, NY
- Sexuality
- 100% Straight, 0% Gay
- Gender
- Male
Having dated a guy for two years who, I now suspect, was a gay man in waiting (he refused to let anything except for his dick to get close to my vagina), I am committed to having sex before getting legally or otherwise hitched.
But I am curious about those who are committed to waiting until marriage before having sex with that person. Can someone who has done this or who is in the process of doing this tell me how it is conducted?
For example, back during my teenage years we were protected by chaperones of various sorts. I recall doing almost everything but intercourse and the guy was grateful for that ...under the circumstances. These days that would be called being a cocktease. So as the relationship and physical closeness progresses, how does the couple manage this progression? Do you two go to one another's place to hang out? Or do you accept that that creates too much temptation?
Do you two take trips together? If so, do you stay in the same hotel room or pay for separate rooms? If you stay in the same room, do allow each other to see one another in varying stages of undress...and even naked? Is that acceptable according to your standards?
Do you engage in "everything" except for vaginal penetration? Do you two engage in oral or anal sex?
During the course of this sex free relationship, did you ever have an FB in the background? Do think your partner might have had an FB?
Some women who claim to be "practicing" this (although they have yet to get a bf after a couple of years of advocating this position) strongly believe that the road towards marriage will be severely curtailed. Whereas, us poor sods who put out will be dating into perpetuity? Do have have the same beliefs?
But I am curious about those who are committed to waiting until marriage before having sex with that person. Can someone who has done this or who is in the process of doing this tell me how it is conducted?
For example, back during my teenage years we were protected by chaperones of various sorts. I recall doing almost everything but intercourse and the guy was grateful for that ...under the circumstances. These days that would be called being a cocktease. So as the relationship and physical closeness progresses, how does the couple manage this progression? Do you two go to one another's place to hang out? Or do you accept that that creates too much temptation?
Do you two take trips together? If so, do you stay in the same hotel room or pay for separate rooms? If you stay in the same room, do allow each other to see one another in varying stages of undress...and even naked? Is that acceptable according to your standards?
Do you engage in "everything" except for vaginal penetration? Do you two engage in oral or anal sex?
During the course of this sex free relationship, did you ever have an FB in the background? Do think your partner might have had an FB?
Some women who claim to be "practicing" this (although they have yet to get a bf after a couple of years of advocating this position) strongly believe that the road towards marriage will be severely curtailed. Whereas, us poor sods who put out will be dating into perpetuity? Do have have the same beliefs?
Yup your a prude lol.
If that's what you want then so be it but it has been my experience that not everyone is sexually compatible. So you are literally playing Russian roulette with your sex life.
A co-worker of my sister was divorced and started dating. Her first sexual experience after her divorce was incredible. Before then she never liked sex, thought sex was horrible but it turned out it was horrible with her ex-husband. Imagine going through your entire life and being so wrong about sex.
While a noble cause, in the greater scheme of life, you could be depriving yourself and your future spouse a great deal. Will you hold your future mate to the same lofty goal? You really need to think on this with both heads as well as your heart.
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2010
- Posts
- 925
- Media
- 75
- Likes
- 2,606
- Points
- 373
- Location
- New Jersey (United States)
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- 99% Straight, 1% Gay
- Gender
- Male
Fair question. For my wife and I it was the strength of willpower. Neither of us were virgins. We just decided to live our lives a different way. We dated for 6.5 years before marriage and were both committed to this so it made it easier. I am not controlled by my sexual urges. So when that moment hits, I'd have to decide am I in control or do I simply do what my dick tells me. The same principal applies when you decide not to cheat on your partner. Sure my body says "go fuck that other chick" but my brain has to be able to say, "no I will not". Am I denying my body pleasure? Yes, I am but I am committed to not cheating. Our decision to wait until marriage was much the same way. We were committed to an ideal.
Of course we did other things like not taking overnight trips together or sleeping in the same bed. We did not live together until we were married. We were committed to a goal and we succeeded.
In saying that, I do not look down on those who choose to have sex before marriage. Every person must live their own life. I have no negative feelings, thoughts or comments for those who choose to not wait. Of course a lot of those same people would ridicule me for not choosing their path. Yet, I do not ridicule them for not chosing mine.
Hope this answered your question.
I've had sex a few times before with an ex, but that was a really awful experience in a lot of ways. I knew when I broke up with him I was going to make the next guy wait a LONG time (maybe not necessarily marriage) so I wouldn't repeat that experience again. When I met my current boyfriend, he said he wanted to wait to have intercourse until he was married, which I was fine with. His reasons were primarily to make it more special, to not have to worry about pregnancy, to avoid getting too attached to the wrong girls, and (in a distant last place) because he was raised Catholic. So yes, not all people do it solely for religious reasons.
This isn't to say we don't do everything but intercourse, though. :wink: His issue isn't with hand/blowjobs, so we engage in that frequently. We did wait a while before we started doing that, though. I think it's made us closer by putting so much value on sexual acts. I think that whole mentality of "have sex with everything while you can" is a huge turn-off and takes away a lot of the emotional impact these things can have. In my experience, sex without love/compassion/etc is just plain boring; maybe that's not true with everyone else, but that was how it was with my first guy. My current boyfriend and I have been dating a year and have never gone beyond this stage. It's difficult to wait sometimes, but we're doing it together (our first experience with compromise, I guess lol).
And I also really think people place too much value on sexual compatibility. Do you think either partner's sex drive is never going to fluctuate or change over time...? Do you really think both of you will want the same things at 20 and 80? What about if she's pregnant and sex is the furthest thing from her mind; there's several months of "incompatibility" right there. You can't tell just from what you both want sexually right here and now. You need to see how sensitive they are to your needs and wants in other ways, too, that's a great predictor of how willing they'd be to compromise. In the end, incompatibility isn't a kiss of death (I doubt most of you are totally compatible with your partners in movie taste, music taste, hobbies, etc. too). The right person will want to give you what you want at times, and ask for what they want at times, too. Sex shouldn't be any different.
This isn't to say we don't do everything but intercourse, though. :wink: His issue isn't with hand/blowjobs, so we engage in that frequently. We did wait a while before we started doing that, though. I think it's made us closer by putting so much value on sexual acts. I think that whole mentality of "have sex with everything while you can" is a huge turn-off and takes away a lot of the emotional impact these things can have. In my experience, sex without love/compassion/etc is just plain boring; maybe that's not true with everyone else, but that was how it was with my first guy. My current boyfriend and I have been dating a year and have never gone beyond this stage. It's difficult to wait sometimes, but we're doing it together (our first experience with compromise, I guess lol).
And I also really think people place too much value on sexual compatibility. Do you think either partner's sex drive is never going to fluctuate or change over time...? Do you really think both of you will want the same things at 20 and 80? What about if she's pregnant and sex is the furthest thing from her mind; there's several months of "incompatibility" right there. You can't tell just from what you both want sexually right here and now. You need to see how sensitive they are to your needs and wants in other ways, too, that's a great predictor of how willing they'd be to compromise. In the end, incompatibility isn't a kiss of death (I doubt most of you are totally compatible with your partners in movie taste, music taste, hobbies, etc. too). The right person will want to give you what you want at times, and ask for what they want at times, too. Sex shouldn't be any different.
Last edited:
arthur
Sexy Member
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2006
- Posts
- 600
- Media
- 5
- Likes
- 38
- Points
- 163
- Age
- 55
- Location
- London, UK
- Sexuality
- 99% Gay, 1% Straight
- Gender
- Male
I think everyone has coverd it here. But waiting till you get married to have sex is far too mid victorian for me. You can't leave such an important aspect of your marriage to 'chance'. What happens if you figure out after marriage that you have absolutely no sexual chemistry? Sonner or later it's a one way road to 'Affairs-ville'....
I didn't wait, and I'm glad that I didn't. I feel that experimenting with different people has been a worthwhile experience. All have been consensual and all have taught me something, even if it has been that I don't like a particular thing. Yes, I realise this could be learnt after marriage.
But the main thing for me is I don't feel I could be so on love with someone that I want to marry them, and NOT have sex with them.
But the main thing for me is I don't feel I could be so on love with someone that I want to marry them, and NOT have sex with them.
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2008
- Posts
- 266
- Media
- 8
- Likes
- 1,911
- Points
- 598
- Location
- United States
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- 100% Straight, 0% Gay
- Gender
- Male
This. As a nearly 27 year old virgin, I can attest to this. Not sure if my friends who know talk about it, but they probably do. After this long, you just accept the fact that no one wants you, that you are unattractive and unlovable. It's depressing I guess, but I don't know any other way to feel.
Preserving one's virginity has purpose only to a certain age or stage in life. When you are younger (in your teens and 20s), being a virgin has more meaning because one is purposefully waiting to have intercourse in a meaningful way.
After a certain age (e.g. 30), however, being a virgin has diminishing returns. Virginity loses its "virtuosity": the ability to relate to another person sexually and intimately is a core human experience. It's an aspect of personal and social maturity.
To illustrate the point, I present the most exaggerated case of being a virgin. What is the point of a 40(+) menopausal virgin (unless it's a nun who is made an oath to God)? For a woman in her early reproductive years, virginity is a virtue. A young woman is waiting to have meaningful intercourse which presumably may lead or be in the state of marriage. What if "Mr. Right" does not come along during her sexual prime? There is still value in having sex when one is personally and psychological mature enough because it's important to know how to be intimate with another person - heterosexually or homosexually. The same point applies to a man.
I have a friend in DC who is now a 35+ year old virgin and could make it to being a 40+ year old virgin. He will claim that he is wise because he's avoiding the 50% of the adult population that has some form of STD. He is implying, in essence, that he is virtuous because he's not a slut. My response is that he is ignoring the other 50% of the adult population that is STD free. He should just flip a coin with the decision to have sex with another woman. The more important point which I assert to him is that he's being too passive in trying to relate to someone. His perspective is a little too "psychologically precious" and fragile for a 35 year old male. He uses his notion of virginity to camouflage his psychological fears of interpersonal rejection.
After a certain age (e.g. 30), however, being a virgin has diminishing returns. Virginity loses its "virtuosity": the ability to relate to another person sexually and intimately is a core human experience. It's an aspect of personal and social maturity.
To illustrate the point, I present the most exaggerated case of being a virgin. What is the point of a 40(+) menopausal virgin (unless it's a nun who is made an oath to God)? For a woman in her early reproductive years, virginity is a virtue. A young woman is waiting to have meaningful intercourse which presumably may lead or be in the state of marriage. What if "Mr. Right" does not come along during her sexual prime? There is still value in having sex when one is personally and psychological mature enough because it's important to know how to be intimate with another person - heterosexually or homosexually. The same point applies to a man.
I have a friend in DC who is now a 35+ year old virgin and could make it to being a 40+ year old virgin. He will claim that he is wise because he's avoiding the 50% of the adult population that has some form of STD. He is implying, in essence, that he is virtuous because he's not a slut. My response is that he is ignoring the other 50% of the adult population that is STD free. He should just flip a coin with the decision to have sex with another woman. The more important point which I assert to him is that he's being too passive in trying to relate to someone. His perspective is a little too "psychologically precious" and fragile for a 35 year old male. He uses his notion of virginity to camouflage his psychological fears of interpersonal rejection.
Similar threads
- deleted25880241
- Erotic Stories