Waiting Tables is "gay"

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Gabriel, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. Gabriel

    Gabriel Member

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    I work at a restaurant, where I wait tables full time to help pay for my last year of college. Anyway, apparently it's undeniably the gay-est occupation next to exotic dancer? I am gay, but I certainly don't like being stereotyped.

    I've been told on numerous accounts that I don't 'act' gay (which I don't even think is possible :rolleyes: ) and that if I hadn't been so honest about who I sleep with, they'd have never known. But, yesterday I got into an argument with a customer. I've never been so incredibly angry in my life. I basically broke my neck for this guy, who was with his family, and tried to keep everything top-shape for them, as I do with all my tables. When it comes time for the bill, he looks me dead in the eye and says "I'd like to speak to a manager about your...'performance,' today."

    I really didn't know if it was good or bad, and...sadly, it was bad. He accused me of hitting on him (a 50 some-odd man), and being inappropriate in front of his son! He refused to pay his $70 bill and yelled at me about being "a bad example for americans who wwant to eat without being disgusted." Apparently, only women are supposed to wait tables.

    Does this happen on a normal basis for anyone else? I mean, I've rarely been brought out like that before, and I can't recall 'acting' gay around him. Hell, I even talked to him about Baseball!
     
  2. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Have you considered that HIS performance was a way of stiffing the restaurant? Then again, he may be just another homophobic asshole whose gaydar was working overtime. Don't lose any sleep over it. All service providers encounter such situations.
     
  3. Gabriel

    Gabriel Member

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    Oh he ended up paying, and he seemed like a rich douche to me, so I don't think he was trying to walk out. Maybe he was just trying to cause a scene? I dunno, but hopefully in this new week of suspended vacation I have, I can find a way to get over it?
     
  4. sdjdguy

    sdjdguy Member

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    That's too bad that you were treated that way. I've been where you are and always try to remember what it's like to be a waiter and to be nice and tip well. Unfortunately, some people are just jerks, and it was your unlucky day to encounter one. It happens in every job on occasion. Like you say, just try to put it out of your mind and don't let that one jerk ruin your day or week. You sound like a great guy, by the way.
     
  5. DC_DEEP

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    Yeah, you just ran into one of the jerks that day... and loaded with cash or not, he probably WAS just looking for a reason to stiff the restaurant.

    Funny how some people stereotype some occupations, though. When I was teaching music, one of the students made a comment about how the flute was a "girl instrument." I immediately responded, "I know how to tell a boy puppy from a girl puppy; can you tell me how to tell a boy instrument from a girl instrument?" She had no answer...

    Most professional chefs are men, and it seems that straight men tend to be the more "famous" professional chefs.

    The only time it's ok for a man to be able to use a sewing machine is if he's a professional tailor.

    Women don't do construction work.

    Women aren't electricians or plumbers.

    With a job like yours, that only exists in dealing with the general public, you realize just how stupid most people seem to be.
     
  6. Jayroo

    Jayroo New Member

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    Yeah, that guy was being a jerk.


    You would think that people who go into restaurants would realize you don't screw with the people who handle the food. That's idiocy.

    He probably just realized you were gay and used it as a reason to ruin your day and try to get a free meal or a discount. Don't let jerks like that get to you.

    Have a joke and a drink about it with your co-workers when there's time and let it ride.

    :biggrin1:
     
  7. HotBulge

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    The man/father is probably trying to humiliate you to compensate for his own struggle with homosexuality. Clearly, you take pride in your work and wouldn't even flirt with a married customer in front of his family, no less, so this man is acting on his own psychodrama and hang-ups.

    He probably found you attractive and was watching your moves around the table. I have a strong suspicion that straight men become more curious or "heteroflexible" as they age, starting at 40 or so, when a midlife crisis starts to kick in.

    One other point to consider: most people know that or assume that you, as a young man, are waiting tables to bring income and that you have other aspirations in life. It goes with the territory of being young and fulfilling and entry level position. There's nothing 'gay' about being a waiter (even though I've never been one myself. In other countries, both in Europe and in Asia, it's often seen as a meore polished job because it requires some degree of sophistication. The thinking is as old as dividing labor between field workers and the domestic workers who are priviliged enough to be around the patron.

    In any case .... if waiting tables is starting to bother you (and it's important to recognize that), make this your last summer of waiting tables adn then find an entry level position in your area of occupational interest. A service job - whether it's waiting tables or retail - is an experience that everyone should have at least once in life before moving on to better endeavors.
     
  8. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    "gay" or otherwise I think waiting on table is one of the most exacting and undersung professions there is. You need to be entertainer and therapist, server and conversationalist, and just about all-around raconteur depending on the people you find in your charge.

    I worked in this capacity all through college and for a while afterwards as well.


    If it's a "gay" profession it's because the males who take it on are able to handle any and all situations with dexterity and common sense. Remember it's key to consider this one thing;

    "you cannot please all of the people all of the time"

    With respect to the "hitting on him" piece of your post I say he's monstrously insecure and it was wishful thinking on his part. I'm sure your manager (if he or she knows you) realizes the truth of the thing.
     
  9. Mr. Snakey

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    Whats with the Gay bashing threads lately?:confused:
     
  10. Gabriel

    Gabriel Member

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    Wow, thanks guys. The only reason I was suspended for a week was because I let some comment slip. Now that I'm calm, I really can't remember it, but some friends and I are going out to lunch in about an hour just to laugh about it. At the time though, I was still pissed off about it, and trying to figure out what I did wrong. Now that I think about it, there's not much I could've done to prevent it. :rolleyes: . Anyway, thanks for the help :).
     
  11. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Make sure you leave a big tip.:wink:
     
  12. Gabriel

    Gabriel Member

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    Haha, I always do. It sucks to have a table that pays like 5% tip. It's days like those when you just want kick someone. Or in my case, punch them wrong and sprain your thumb, hahahahaha.
     
  13. BigPoppaFury

    BigPoppaFury Member

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    I worked at a golf club when I was a little younger and decided that I hated the general public and never wanted to deal with them again.

    This one time I had a machine open, it was on the driving range and it was one of those that you put your money in and out come the balls. Well, this machine was full of electrics and I hadn't turned it off yet. This guys little 3 year old kid starts putting his hands in so I said "come back a bit little one" to which his dad shot me a look and said "he's not gonna steal anything". Ah the stupidity.

    I think that place did me good in a way, it taught me that people in general are really really dumb. Sounds like your man was too.
     
  14. taven

    taven Member

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    I've never worked as a waiter, but I know it's demanding. All the servers I've met have been outstanding (just lucky I guess) and I normally leave a 20% tip unless the bill is small, then I leave more than 20%. Also leave more if the meal calls for extra duty , so to speak. I figure waiters deserve thanks for making my meal an occasion.
     
  15. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    I am sorry that happened to you. Only he knows why he did that to you. I don't like people prissing around me and that includes women but I don't hate peeps either (just bosses and family ;) ) I have to deal with jerks like this all the time. I am a mailman. So, be nice to your mailman. We work hard for our money.

    Being a waiter can be a good paying job too. Man if you get the right clients, you can make a killing on tips.
     
  16. mjfriel

    mjfriel New Member

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    A service job - whether it's waiting tables or retail - is an experience that everyone should have at least once in life before moving on to better endeavors.[/quote]

    Glad to hear you say that. I have always thought that everyone should work for a year in the service industry. A modern-day national service if you will. If everybody knew what it was like to work in those conditions then I think that the regularity of asshole customers would drop rapidly. Well Hopefully.
     
  17. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    having waited tables myself, I have to agree that it definitely is very gay. Though not necessarily in a homosexual sense.

    Besides there are many jobs more "gay" than waiting tables:

    hairdresser
    interior decorator
    lpsg site moderator
    flight attendant
    gay porn star
    stylist
    pastry chef
    Scientologist
    Britney Spears back-up dancer
    boy band member
    vice president of the United States

    just to name a few...
     
  18. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Add
    president of Ann Coulter Fan Club
    vice-president of Young Republicans
     
  19. DC_DEEP

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    I'll slap you into yesteryear for that one, doll.
     
  20. DC_DEEP

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    You didn't. I just know you didn't. I think I need to teach you a few things. Drop your drawers, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.
     
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