Waking up with a hand on my cock!

youngandthick007

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Ok so here is the story of what happened to me the other night...

I had a guy friend come over to my house the other night because he had to ride with me the next morning to go on a trip with a huge group of people. I only have one bed, so I offered him either an air mattress or the other half of my queen size bed. I am straight, but this guy is a guy who everyone has known is gay for years, but just came out in the past couple weeks... I am perfectly comfortable with sharing beds with people and we have been great friends for years, so I didn't think he would do anything. So anyway, we go to sleep. I wake up and his head is on my shoulder and his hand is rubbing my hard package through my pants. I had no idea what the hell to do, so i moved letting him know I was awake and he immediately rolled back over. I said "what are you doing?" and he tried to pretend like he didn't do anything. I didn't want to freak out because I didn't want things to be awkward from then on. I just said "dude, Im not gay and you know that. It's ok, just ask next time." As I am without a girlfriend right now, I could have gone for a handjob, but that's beside the point. Did I handle the situation correctly? What would you have done?
 

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>>>As I am without a girlfriend right now, I could have gone for a handjob, but that's beside the point.<<<

Is it? Beside the point, that is? If the guy did what he did in the midst of sleep, I guess that's one thing. If he was pretty much molesting you, not so cool...you seem to have handled it pretty well, but I go back to my original question: Is it beside the point?

I ask because it seems to me, your being without a gf right now, that if you're horny, you can just jack off (if a handjob, at the least, was what you'd be willing to accept from the openly gay dude you let sleep in your bed when another bed was more than available!) :wink:

Is it possible you sent some signals his way that you MIGHT be open to some m4m activity? Just curious...
 

lpsgjwalker

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Ok so here is the story of what happened to me the other night...

I had a guy friend come over to my house the other night because he had to ride with me the next morning to go on a trip with a huge group of people. I only have one bed, so I offered him either an air mattress or the other half of my queen size bed. I am straight, but this guy is a guy who everyone has known is gay for years, but just came out in the past couple weeks... I am perfectly comfortable with sharing beds with people and we have been great friends for years, so I didn't think he would do anything. So anyway, we go to sleep. I wake up and his head is on my shoulder and his hand is rubbing my hard package through my pants. I had no idea what the hell to do, so i moved letting him know I was awake and he immediately rolled back over. I said "what are you doing?" and he tried to pretend like he didn't do anything. I didn't want to freak out because I didn't want things to be awkward from then on. I just said "dude, Im not gay and you know that. It's ok, just ask next time." As I am without a girlfriend right now, I could have gone for a handjob, but that's beside the point. Did I handle the situation correctly? What would you have done?

He may have been getting mixed signals with the sleeping in the same bed deal - after all, you could have had him sleep on the air mattress or jokingly said something like "why don't you sleep in the bed with me, but *no* funny business!". That said, I think you handled the situation as it "arose" very well - many straight men would have freaked out. I'm sure your friend is embarrassed but glad you didn't make a big deal out of it.
 

MrToolhung

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From a gay guys perspective:

I think you handled it the best way possible not to hurt the guys feelings or worse yet beating the crap out of him. I really never understand it when a gay guy does something like this to his straight friends. Especially when they accept him for who he is. I knew of guy who was actually murdered for this very reason because he could not keep his hands off a guy who was sleeping.

The one thing that I would have not done is telling him to just ask next time. If he was doing that to you in your sleep he probably likes you and you will only send him mixed signals that you are actually interested in him. Unless of course you want to experiment then go for it.

You sound like a very open-minded guy and a great friend to have.
 
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D_Martin van Burden

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I think you handled it well, too. I think the "besides" thing throws me off a bit, too, because it seems like he could have gotten away with doing what he did if only he asked you for permission first. I don't know the guy, but I can't imagine it would be easy for him (or any dude) to ask, "Hey, can I fondle you some? I want to feel some cock!" It isn't the openmindedness that's a problem; it's a permissiveness that maybe asked for some misinterpretation.

I have to ask. If you weren't single, and he asked you like you wanted, would you have let him then?
 

lookingforhung

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Honestly, the real problem in this world is truly bi guys, non-straight guys, saying stuff like what youngandthick said. This is what gives gay guys, and bi guys like myself, a perception that these fantasies and things are actually possible. When truly straight guys would be pissed and maybe worse.
 

jjsjr

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People like this give gay men a bad reputation.

I think being polite in any situation you are uncomfortable in is often the proper way to deal with it.


I agree.


To do something like that is very disrespectful. I'm gay, and if someone (other then my partner) did that to me, I would definitely call him out on it.
It's one of those things you can't necessarily ignore. Considering you were sharing a bed, that discussion is definitely something you can establish beforehand so not to be sending the wrong signals. Just because you were sharing a bed doesn't mean you wanted to "share a bed."
 

ryan25yo

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Ok so here is the story of what happened to me the other night...

I had a guy friend come over to my house the other night because he had to ride with me the next morning to go on a trip with a huge group of people. I only have one bed, so I offered him either an air mattress or the other half of my queen size bed. I am straight, but this guy is a guy who everyone has known is gay for years, but just came out in the past couple weeks... I am perfectly comfortable with sharing beds with people and we have been great friends for years, so I didn't think he would do anything. So anyway, we go to sleep. I wake up and his head is on my shoulder and his hand is rubbing my hard package through my pants. I had no idea what the hell to do, so i moved letting him know I was awake and he immediately rolled back over. I said "what are you doing?" and he tried to pretend like he didn't do anything. I didn't want to freak out because I didn't want things to be awkward from then on. I just said "dude, Im not gay and you know that. It's ok, just ask next time." As I am without a girlfriend right now, I could have gone for a handjob, but that's beside the point. Did I handle the situation correctly? What would you have done?
I think you handled it expertly and with style!
 

D_Relentless Original

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No disrespect, but i think this could happen again, you have given him the green light with what you said to him, initially you dealt with it well, but gave permission that to ask it would be okay.

I never get to understand straight guys thinking sometimes, maybe before hand you had unintentionaly given mixed signals.
 

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i think this was a messed up situation on both counts. he shouldn't have manhandled you in your sleep (i blame so many "str8-bait" porns for this).
on the other hand you say you told him to "just ask" next time. so you seem to be ok with at least the thought of possibly experimenting. or using a "buddy" to get your rocks off. in that case you could be quite possibly giving off some signals with at least a subconscious thought that you might want something to happen.
 

bstexas

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i basically agree with so much of the things you said and what others posted.

YOu seem like a good friend, and your buddy should not have assumed he could have fondled you just because he slept with you. There are so many MAYBES with the situation ... maybe he thought since you were sharing a bed you would be sorta ok with it; maybe since he came out to you and your friends he thought since you were letting him sleep with you a signal was being given (since you are such good friends), maybe he was bing a stupid gay idiot who thought you wouldn't wake up; maybe he should have told himself he should NOT sleep with you if he couldn't control his urge.

Hey, there are some str8 guys or friends who i find attractive and i've fantasized about them, but not sure i have really acted on the fantasy in all these years. He shouldn't have either. Maybe he should have just had a conversation with you ... an open conversation that night before you went to bed ... you saying you know he's gay but it won't bust up ur friendship, even tho u are open minded you don't want him to cross a line, etc. But the line was crossed and you did an admirable job of refusing him. HOWEVER, if u really think it's cook to get a hand job, then cool. As so many have said before, too many people put too many labels on their sexuality. Enjoy urself since ur so understanding and open.

Enough rambling by me. Hope u remain friends.