"Wanna Go Out...For Coffee?"

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TragicWhiteKnight: The Scenario:

An average guy (who you know very little about, apart from what you've gathered from brief chats in group meetings) asks you if you want to go for a coffee sometime. Do you accept? Or refuse? And in both cases, how?

[Warning: The above may or may not be hypothetical]

 

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Tender: um well thats pretty vague.
i mean neither is married, right? or in a relationship?
i guess i wouldnt see anything wrong with it, everyone starts somewhere...
if one is uncomfortable maybe bring a friend along the first time or something...
i guess i dont understand what you mean by 'how'?
you just say it with your mouth.... 'sure that would be fine, what time?' or you say 'no, id rather not'...
im not getting it...
or did she say, not sure have to think about it?
that would be akward...
:-/
Tender

 

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TragicWhiteKnight: [flicks through my made-up dictionary]

How = How you phrase it; and how you think of it. I.e. is it actually a date? This applies more specifically if you'd say 'no', since you'd have to think of a way to turn him down without being brutal.

 

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wvalady1968: [quote author=TragicWhiteKnight link=board=women;num=1071750296;start=0#0 date=12/18/03 at 04:15:55]The Scenario:

An average guy (who you know very little about, apart from what you've gathered from brief chats in group meetings) asks you if you want to go for a coffee sometime.  Do you accept?  Or refuse?   And in both cases, how?

[Warning: The above may or may not be hypothetical][/quote]

That ''sometime'' tacked in there made it rather vague, TWK. I would think this is more of a pre-date, a chance to get to know each other to find out if you want to date.

All of this is assuming that I'm not in a relationship:

If he seems nice, I'd say, "That sounds nice. Yes, I would. Here's my phone number [email address] give me a call."

If I'm attracted to him, I may say "Yes, that sounds very nice. When?" with a smile and a twinkle in my eye.

If I don't want to go out with him, for whatever reason, I'd say something like, "No, but thanks for the compliment." And leave.

Any help?

 

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palladen: Just my 2 cents, but when I ask a lady to coffee it's just for coffee (talk, shoot the breeze, etc). Now if I ask you to dinner, that's something else. I've found ladies to more cautious over the years, but I can't say that I blame them.

 

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longtimelurker: Being someone that actually enjoys having a chat over coffee, I don't feel strange about asking other people to join me for a drink. It's just a chance to relax and if you don't know the other that well then maybe get to know each other a bit better.

There's not necessarily any ulterior motive unless he is making it obvious.

 

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Tender: no ulterior motive in going for coffee with a guy.... ?
hm.
well would any of the ladies then 'go for coffee' if they were married?
i think my SB would think there was an UM and he would not be comfortable with my going....
if someone asked me, i would think something more was up than just coffee
:-/
Tender

 

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bblumbee: Depending on how comfortable I felt around him, I would accept or reject. I have a very good sense of character about people.

If I were comfortable and attracted, then the answer would be yes. However, boundaries would definitely be made. I would hate for him to think he was going to get some play for a cop of coffee. :-/

 

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wvalady1968: [quote author=bblumbee link=board=women;num=1071750296;start=0#7 date=12/19/03 at 09:09:01]play for a cop of coffee.   :-/[/quote]

BB, was that "cop a feel" or "cop of coffee"?
"Pardon me, your Freudian slip is showing."

 

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TragicWhiteKnight: [quote author=wvalady1968 link=board=women;num=1071750296;start=0#8 date=12/19/03 at 16:25:02]

BB, was that "cop a feel" or "cop of coffee"?
"Pardon me, your Freudian slip is showing."
[/quote]

I'd think a Freudian would consider it to be a preference for men in uniform...especially swimming in giant cups of coffee.

That might just be what an 'Ally McBeal' fan would say, though...