Did he cheat? Was he too scared to commit? Did he run off with the cleaning lady? Did he lead you on then leave you high and dry? It's all good in the hood, here's my proven method of getting over him, no matter how deep the heartbreak is. Step 1. Put in a movie of some diva overcoming intense struggles. Preferably "Waiting to Exhale" but "What's Love Got To Do With It" will work. If all else fails, rent "The Notebook." Nothing with Mandy Moore, the last girl who tried that ended up dating a big, smelly trucker.....named Bertha. Step 2. Drink lots of vodka. Step 3. Call the punk. If it goes straight to voicemail, go to Step 4, if he answers, skip Step 4 and go to Step 5. Step 4. Leave an angry, incoherent, profanity-laced rant on his answering machine. If you don't mind playing dirty, tell him that you've been sleeping with his friend Jeffrey, that Jeffrey was every bit of man he could never be, and that you often pictured Jeffrey's face while he wriggled on top of you, failing to bring you within miles of an orgasm. Curse the womb that bore him and hang up. Skip Step 5. Step 5. If he answers, sing Mary J. Blige's "I'm Not Gonna Cry" to him, though it's important that you begin sobbing by the second verse and continue to cry until the final caterwaul. Step 6. Drink some more vodka. Step 7. Throw up in the toilet. Step 8. Wake up underneath the kitchen table. Don't sit up too fast and watch your head as you rise. Step 9. Shower, freshen up, do your hair like you're going to a Vanity Fair cover-shoot. Step 10. Drink some more vodka. Step 11. Sleep with the next available guy according to your own standards (or lack thereof). Congratulations, by now you should be over his bitch ass!