want guys opinions.....

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by ladybree, Jul 23, 2010.

  1. ladybree

    ladybree New Member

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    Ok, have this issue. I am highly attracted to women. Though I have never been with one sexually. ( have kissed a couple and loved it) but my husband does not know of the attraction. He sees me looking at people but assumes I am looking at the guy (usually not true) I am usually checking out the female. Don't get me wrong, I love men. But there is just something.......
    Anyway. How would you feel if your wife were to tell you this? I know each person would feel different but want some ideas and input before I think about telling him. My husband is pretty close minded when it comes to sex. Not real open with talking about it. (He is VERY shy) any other shy guys out there?
    Thanks!
     
  2. Charles Finn

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    wow how long have you been together?
    if it were me
    I have always been bi
    I prefer guys but i do like some females too
    always been open about who and what i am
    if you can talk to him if not well then you must lust in secret
    just my feelings on the matter
    you must always be open minded but also set in your ways too
    best of luck to you
     
  3. unabear09

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    just be open and honest with him. As long as you aren't looking to switch teams, he probably will be fine with you. Hell he might be into threesomes or something along those lines.
     
  4. BigfootTornado

    BigfootTornado New Member

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    I tend to be on the shy side in general except in the bedroom. If your husband is the same way you might be pleasantly surprised.
     
  5. houtx48

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    you're asking a bunch of queens?
     
  6. unabear09

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    seeing as you've responded to this thread, doesn't that make you a queen as well?

    Looser
     
  7. TheRob

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    I am very shy but of course I am not him
    however I personally would love it
     
  8. AlteredEgo

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    What are you hoping to gain by talking to him about it? Are you hoping it will just be one less secret? Are you hoping he'll want to talk about your fantasies? Are you hoping he has fantasies he wants to talk about? Are you hoping he will encourage you to experiment with a woman? What's the goal?
     
  9. gert123

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    If he is OK with you checking out the guys, which is more of an competition to him, then I would guess he might be ok with you looking at woman.
    I agree with AlteredEgo - what is your goal?
    I believe in no secrets. I would want to know, regardless of I would be OK with it or not. Perhaps you are just dying to to speak to him about it and do some girl spotting together? :)
     
  10. houtx48

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    una looks like you have your percentages swapped? and i am a queen
     
  11. ges

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    I was in the reverse situation in that I was checking out the guys. Have never been sure of my sexuality (the Western world seems to want you to be straight or gay, black or white, etc), I'm still confused. Before we were married I told my wife that I had had gay experiences. 27 years later I needed to admit to myself that I was at least bi. Of course, this equates to telling my wife. Mostly I regret having done that (we are now seperated), but a little bit of me has been liberated. Now I wonder if I can ever form an honest relationship again - would it be fair to my partner, be it male or female?
    For me, it was a very difficult situation that ended in serious pain.
    Guys (who are thinking of responding), please think seriously before jumping in with advice.
     
  12. Ramsey

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    Part of me may be turned on, the other part would be thinking that being with me is making her desire women instead.
     
  13. ladybree

    ladybree New Member

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    Ramsey, youhit on what I am worried about the most. I don't want him to feel that way, but am afraid he will.I have felt this way since before I met him but untill more recently did not even admit it to myself....... a couple of you asked what I hope to gain. I would love to experiance being with another woman. And maybe even have him involved in that. At this point I am not real sure but I do not feel like I am being true to myself or to him by keeping it in.

    Thanks for the responses. Ohand about asking a bunch of queens. Not all on this site are. I welcome anyones point of view I don't judge anyone I may not agree with what everyone says or does on here but everyone has to be themselves. Hummm foodfor thought here. Thanks again!
     
  14. unabear09

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    My percentages have never been any less than 70% straight 30% gay. Might want to get your eyes (or better yet your head) checked.

    btw.

    who the fuck are you? How the fuck do you know me? Oh, wait, thats right, you don't.

    Suck it! :eek:
     
  15. Billy Batts

    Billy Batts New Member

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    I had a girlfriend that felt the exact same way and it was a complete non-issue for me. She didn't speak a lot about it or act on it, I think because she was really insecure about it. I never tried a threesome, but the thought seems kinda tempting. Maybe approach the subject from there.
     
  16. houtx48

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    70% .........roflao whatever girl
     
  17. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I'm a big believer in communication about everything including sex. Before your guy will be able to understand what you really want in an experience with another woman, you might start talking about your sex lives more casually first, especially if he's so shy about it. I do think he'll feel threaten if you just drop it on him without some preparation. I've been mostly involved with girls who are bisexual so this issue isn't such a big deal with them. We both know everything about each other. So I don't think it's mainly about you wanting to be with a woman but rather how to prepare your husband for more open communication about your sex lives. Good luck.
     
  18. ladybree

    ladybree New Member

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    Well often times I will point out girls, that I think are cute... kinda like what my guy friends do, 'hey check her out'. I often do that with him. (Yea it kinda turns me on to know he is looking) and I want to look too! Haha. But that is as far as it has ever went with me letting that part out in front of him. Thought he might get a little hint but that has not been the case...........
     
  19. thetramp

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    This is what you should think about LadyBree. You stated that you have for a long time not admitted this attraction to women to yourself.
    So i think you should first go on the way of self discovery, and by that i don't mean experiment with women, but asking yourself more precisely what you want, what you desire, and what kind of relationship you want.
    How would you wish for your Husband to react, how would you want him to help you on your path to find your real sexual identity.
    You need to be as clear as possible about what you want.

    The next step would be how to admit it not only to yourself but also to others, at first to your Husband. I think it is eventually the right thing to do.
    You should not keep a important part of yourself from him, and don't forget that would also mean keeping it from yourself.
    So how to admit it to him, and how would you want him to react?
    I don't think you can find the best way on here, we don't know you, your husband and your relationship good enough. All i can tell you is take as much information about what you want, what you want for him, what you want him to do, what you want for him, and what you know about him into consideration.
    Being shy or not got nothing to do with that if you ask me.
    The question i have for you is, is he a fearful guy, do you think he would worry about losing you, that you can go out and he has no problem with you checking out other people, even if he assumes those are men, is to me a sign that he is not the extremely jealous or fearful type.
    Is he insecure? Do you think he would feel questioned in his masculinity and sexual ability? Is he controlling? All those things should tell you more about how he will react than his shyness if you ask me, and help you to find an appropriate way to discuss all this.

    Finally i can only tell you how i think i would feel, what does a young guy like me who has no desire to get married know tho.
    But if i would be married, i would care very much for that person and would want her to be truly and freely herself including sexually.
    I might feel jealous here and there, but i think i would support her as it would not affect any of the reasons that would be reason for me to get married.
    So i would appreciate a coming out.
     
  20. mako shark

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    Most guys/husbands that I know would love it if the relationship involved them as well. I am one of those very rare guys that doesn't get into the girl on girl thing...
     
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