I'm sick of having urges that never get met. It just leads to sorrow. I'm sick of not being able to talk to the opposite sex because I look like a moron when I have nothing to say due to nervousness. And then I blush like you wouldn't believe. Totally out of control, it comes on without my even consciously thinking of embarrassment. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate my mind. I wish I could just cut my balls off and never have any sexual desire again. Soon enough spring will be here and I don't know if I can handle another year of seeing a thousand new smiling couple holding hands. I'm a senior in college and never even kissed a girl. Year after year I see freshman, some assholes, hand in hand with girls. I'm hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. Go ahead, be mad at me for moping.