Want to get rid of sexual desire

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Vladimir Jurkov, Mar 15, 2011.

  1. D_Vladimir Jurkov

    D_Vladimir Jurkov New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    131
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm sick of having urges that never get met. It just leads to sorrow. I'm sick of not being able to talk to the opposite sex because I look like a moron when I have nothing to say due to nervousness. And then I blush like you wouldn't believe. Totally out of control, it comes on without my even consciously thinking of embarrassment. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate my mind. I wish I could just cut my balls off and never have any sexual desire again. Soon enough spring will be here and I don't know if I can handle another year of seeing a thousand new smiling couple holding hands. I'm a senior in college and never even kissed a girl. Year after year I see freshman, some assholes, hand in hand with girls.

    I'm hopeless. Absolutely hopeless.

    Go ahead, be mad at me for moping.
     
  2. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Female
    You need to pursue girls who are outside your social circle, that way it cuts down on the pressure if something should go wrong and you wouldn't have to worry about running into her or her friends afterwards.

    We're friends with someone who is doing online dating because he also suffers from shyness. He decided to employ a total honesty strategy. He put everything he thought was odd or unusual or might cause women to reject him right on his profile. So he included his unusual musical tastes, his addiction to video games, his addiction to campy movies. He said he figured that if a woman read his profile and was still interested, then that meant that he wouldn't be wasting his time. It's been working out for him! He's attracted women who like the weird things that wouldn't attract most women. You could try that strategy. Put it right on your profile that you're so shy that you blush. Someone might find your shyness endearing.
     
    #2 petite, Mar 15, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2011
  3. shyyguy123

    shyyguy123 Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2010
    Messages:
    292
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    I had never kissed a girl until my senior year of college either. I'm still a virgin. And I just started to date like a year and 1/2 ago (I'm 24).

    So trust me dude you're not alone.

    You just gotta put yourself out there. Like petite mentioned I also use online dating and it has really helped. I've always been too painfully shy to ever think about approaching women in real life. Online dating takes that whole terrible awkward approach thing away. Give it a try.
     
  4. D_Vladimir Jurkov

    D_Vladimir Jurkov New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    131
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0

    We're all assuming I have the money for a 6 month ridiculous payment for a dating site. I could go out and do this myself but alone? Yeah, right, being alone in a social event is a dealbreaker in itself.
     
  5. nicenycdick

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2007
    Messages:
    1,825
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York, NY
    Believe me...you will find your path. Calm down. With age will come confidence. Make friends, work hard, have fun. The rest will come.
     
  6. D_Harry_Crax

    D_Harry_Crax Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2006
    Messages:
    4,642
    Likes Received:
    34
    Tasty body, kisses.
     
  7. D_Vladimir Jurkov

    D_Vladimir Jurkov New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    131
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    As much as I want to take the compliment... what a way to not only insult me, but symbolize your intellectual and emotional capacity.
     
  8. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2009
    Messages:
    693
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago

    We all have the right to feel sorry for ourselves when we are down, but when you insult someone who is probably trying to make you feel better, it goes beyond feeling sorry for yourself and is just plain rude. He wasn't trying to insult you.

    I felt bad for you up until this point...don't be mean to the people who are trying to make you feel better.
     
  9. D_Vladimir Jurkov

    D_Vladimir Jurkov New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2010
    Messages:
    131
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0

    Seriously? What I am talking about is emotional and looks are on the outside. I'm discussing the inside. That comment was completely irrelevant and doesn't help at all. He could've commented on a pic of mine or my profile, but to put that in this thread is insulting.
     
  10. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2009
    Messages:
    693
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago

    Not in the least bit. If he wanted to insult you, he would have attacked your feelings, which he did not. He simply commented on something that was positive. Detracting from a negative feeling by focusing on something positive is in no way insulting, and you shouldn't feel that it is. You took it in a bad way. Maybe it was irrelevant and maybe I am speaking out of turn, but I think you are feeling bad enough about yourself that you are looking for some sort of conflict.

    Just relax. We all feel like this a lot of the time. I have felt like this for a long time. People are going to address your feelings in a different way, and his sentiment was not what you were looking for, but that does not mean he was trying to insult you. That's just the way you took it. You can't expect everyone to be a mind reader and know exactly the right thing to say to you, especially when all we know of you is a person posting on message boards.

    No one has been mean or insulting to you. Most of us will listen and give advice, but don't be a jerk to people who are just being friendly (even if the tone of the friendliness is not what you were looking for).

    Please feel better.
     
  11. maxcok

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2009
    Messages:
    7,392
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Elsewhere
    I've been reading some other of your posts. I say this sincerely and without a hint of sarcasm.
    Have you considered counseling to uncover the root of all this negativity?

    Just sayin . . . .
     
    #11 maxcok, Mar 15, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2011
  12. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle

    i dont know you, but i think i pretty much found your problem, that person who said the "insult" was just complimenting you. now what if that was a girl saying you had a nice body? would you have reacted the same way? you need to lighten up a lot because women like being around and are attracted to guys who are fun to be around. nobody likes a grouch. yeah its tough, but self loathing and moping around never got anyone anywhere, there are about 7 billion people in the world, half are women, there are PLENTY of women who would love to be with you (if you make an attitude adjustment). now dont get me wrong, if you're having a bad day, you have the right to be upset, nobody is telling you to walk around faking emotions, but at the same time, you need to put yourself out there (like others have said) and learn to have fun. yeah you'll get rejected, everybody does, the guys who are most successful with women get rejected the most (think of it like baseball, if you have 100 at bats, and only hit the bal 35 times, you're in the hall of fame). you need to get over the fear of rejection because that is the number 1 thing that kills anyone before they even start

    hope i helped:rolleyes:
     
  13. Calboner

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2007
    Messages:
    9,026
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    2,465
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Wow, I never thought of that! I thought that only worked on Seinfeld ("My name's George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents"). But I guess that if you use the Internet to put yourself in front of a sufficient number of potential partners, at least some will respond with interest.
     
  14. borntobeking

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    606
    Albums:
    10
    Likes Received:
    191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Willingboro (NJ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Maxcok might have been on to something with the counseling. You automatically expect a negative reacation to voicing your feelings. Why should anyone be mad? However, since you indicated that you are not in a financial position to explore online dating, then counseling is probably financially out of the question as well.

    Anyhow, I feel your pain and can relate. My period of shyness was during highschool and I thought I'd never talk to a woman. I had to start valuing myself and realizing all of my good qualities (we all have good qualities somewhere). I began to realize that a girl was not doing me a favor if she spoke to me but rather, I am a pretty good catch and maybe just maybe she would be happy to know someone like me as well. It would be mutually benefecial. I hate to sound like I am brushing it off by saying it was all in my head but, for me it really was. When I felt like I was somebody I just started playing the role until I became comfortable in my own skin.

    I wish you well.
     
  15. nicenycdick

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2007
    Messages:
    1,825
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York, NY
    Hmmm...I'd better change my profile.
     
  16. shyyguy123

    shyyguy123 Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2010
    Messages:
    292
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Uhhh there are free dating websites like okcupid and plentyoffish. Those are what I use, I would not and do not pay to join a dating website.

    So being alone with a girl you've been talking to online for a week or two would be a dealbreaker? I mean yah it'll be uncomfortable but you'll get through it. Plus you can never beat your fears if you don't face them.
     
  17. pornographicpoet

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2008
    Messages:
    484
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Prospect Park area, Brooklyn, NYC
    Dude, just put up an OK Cupid profile. It got me laid and a relationship and I was in a similar boat. There are tons of women on the site. I don't even write to them, and they write to me. Just be honest, but don't be overly negative in your profile. No one wants to be with a downer.
     
  18. ladybree

    ladybree New Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2010
    Messages:
    39
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Indiana
    I started off feeling bad 4 you. But not sure if I should...... that was a little rude, you do have a nice body and I was going to say something similar before you went apeshit about it. As a woman I will tell you, if you have this attitude when u r around females, u know ur problem..... I have met and dated plenty of shy guys. I like shy guys and other women do too...... do u have guy buddies? Have them help you..... Play the whole, 'hey my buddy likes you' ha works on my female friends all the time! I have even don't it for guy friends..... (2 weeks ago!) He was too shy to talk to a girl I know so I went and told her. They have a date this weekend.... :)
    I will wish you luck. Hold your chin up. Take a deep breath and dive in sweetheart.........
     
  19. arthur

    arthur New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2006
    Messages:
    618
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, UK
    Mate you need to talk to someone about this. It's no big deal but talk about it. And first off stop being so hard on yourself. It's takes most people a long time to get sexually confident...it doesn't happen to some people till their 30s or 40s. Don't believe what you see in on telly/film/ porn. Relax?!?! It'll happen when it happens.
     
  20. D_Hammond Happydipper

    D_Hammond Happydipper Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    754
    Likes Received:
    1
    I think you are to lazy for change.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted