Excuse the title it really isnt appropriate :/
I am at university, and I became best friends with James first, then with Robert.
Robert is clearly gay/bisexual from his behaviour and the way he speaks. I became good friends with Robert, and I think I have a thing for him.
Problem is James and him got drunk one night and ended up doing stuff (probably blowjob,etc)
I wasnt too sure this had happened but had an idea and they refused to really mention anything else, each denying anything happened but in different ways. I could go into more detail but this would end up being a very long post.
Anyway, it has happened twice more, and I felt really upset and angry and jealous the second time. A couple of days after the second time I discussed it with James, and I explained how I understand (My religion forbids drinking and homosexuality and sex before marriage,etc) because regardless of my religion, i have 'messed' around with guys before. I said I understand he wants to mess around and experiment, and that I know its going to continue.
I think I am really jealous regardless of how much I dont want to be. The second time I heard Robert moaning very loudly with James in the room, so I went back to my flat (I was at Robert's flat where they decided to get drunk)
I have explained all of my feelings to James, and to Robert, though I have not told Robert I have a thing for him or that i am jealous. I have told james these two things. I think it is pretty obvious to Robert that I have a thing for him because I message him a lot and will out 'love you' or 'miss you' in messages. And speaking to James, he said Robert said to him im probably upset because im jealous, and when I spoke to Robert about the situation he did say to me that him and James thought maybe I felt left out.
I dont understand why they feel the need to get drunk to do this.
I have opened up to them both about my sexuality, theyre the only two that know and I have asked them to keep it in confidence.
I am tempted to tell Robert how I feel, though I dont see the point because hes at it with my other best friend and its kind of a 'triangle' but Im not involved in the 'sexual activities' part.
Its ruined the innocence of our relationships and I find it hard to go back to our 'banter' discussions we used to have. The past week has been horrible for me, i have cried and have been feeling the need to speak to James more about how I feel which has helped and he is completely understanding.
Sometimes with Robert, when Im alone, im tempted to ask him if I can suck his cock but I dont know if it would make things more awkward. I think he feels more comfortable with me as a friend when hes sober because he invitedsme for lunch and to the cinema, etc more than James and sometimes I feel he only invited James because hes my best friend and hes always there when he invites me.
The third time they went out to a club and I decided not to join them so I wouldnt have to watch them together, and I know James slept the night at Roberts but Robert denied it where as James told me because I made it obvious I knew. This hurts me too, he feels the need to lie, i know he may be trying to protect me or just wants privacy but its hard with both of them being such good friends. And having revealed so much to them I cant see myself stopping talking to them.
I know they have a wee thing for each other, though it is probably more sexual. But i hate the way i feel and i am feeling better about it now but I feel upset when I have images of them two doing stuff together. They arent out As gay or bisexual but people have an idea im sure. They say they dont care if people find out
. Also I am overweight and not good looking :frown1:
I feel betrayed because I became good friends with Robert first and it was because of me James and Robert got to know each other. We are all 18, and I know we are young and I feel stupid for how I feel. I am trying to get over it and just get me back to my old happy self.
Does anyone have any ideas why I may feel the way I do? Any tips or advice? Its a bit of a fucked up complicated situation and it has brought me and James closer together in a way because we would never have talked so much had this not happened.
i am also scared they will become closer and I will end up being the third wheel or that Robert will drift away from me. I know i shouldnt let others have 'control' of my life' but im just really confused!!
I am at university, and I became best friends with James first, then with Robert.
Robert is clearly gay/bisexual from his behaviour and the way he speaks. I became good friends with Robert, and I think I have a thing for him.
Problem is James and him got drunk one night and ended up doing stuff (probably blowjob,etc)
I wasnt too sure this had happened but had an idea and they refused to really mention anything else, each denying anything happened but in different ways. I could go into more detail but this would end up being a very long post.
Anyway, it has happened twice more, and I felt really upset and angry and jealous the second time. A couple of days after the second time I discussed it with James, and I explained how I understand (My religion forbids drinking and homosexuality and sex before marriage,etc) because regardless of my religion, i have 'messed' around with guys before. I said I understand he wants to mess around and experiment, and that I know its going to continue.
I think I am really jealous regardless of how much I dont want to be. The second time I heard Robert moaning very loudly with James in the room, so I went back to my flat (I was at Robert's flat where they decided to get drunk)
I have explained all of my feelings to James, and to Robert, though I have not told Robert I have a thing for him or that i am jealous. I have told james these two things. I think it is pretty obvious to Robert that I have a thing for him because I message him a lot and will out 'love you' or 'miss you' in messages. And speaking to James, he said Robert said to him im probably upset because im jealous, and when I spoke to Robert about the situation he did say to me that him and James thought maybe I felt left out.
I dont understand why they feel the need to get drunk to do this.
I have opened up to them both about my sexuality, theyre the only two that know and I have asked them to keep it in confidence.
I am tempted to tell Robert how I feel, though I dont see the point because hes at it with my other best friend and its kind of a 'triangle' but Im not involved in the 'sexual activities' part.
Its ruined the innocence of our relationships and I find it hard to go back to our 'banter' discussions we used to have. The past week has been horrible for me, i have cried and have been feeling the need to speak to James more about how I feel which has helped and he is completely understanding.
Sometimes with Robert, when Im alone, im tempted to ask him if I can suck his cock but I dont know if it would make things more awkward. I think he feels more comfortable with me as a friend when hes sober because he invitedsme for lunch and to the cinema, etc more than James and sometimes I feel he only invited James because hes my best friend and hes always there when he invites me.
The third time they went out to a club and I decided not to join them so I wouldnt have to watch them together, and I know James slept the night at Roberts but Robert denied it where as James told me because I made it obvious I knew. This hurts me too, he feels the need to lie, i know he may be trying to protect me or just wants privacy but its hard with both of them being such good friends. And having revealed so much to them I cant see myself stopping talking to them.
I know they have a wee thing for each other, though it is probably more sexual. But i hate the way i feel and i am feeling better about it now but I feel upset when I have images of them two doing stuff together. They arent out As gay or bisexual but people have an idea im sure. They say they dont care if people find out
. Also I am overweight and not good looking :frown1:
I feel betrayed because I became good friends with Robert first and it was because of me James and Robert got to know each other. We are all 18, and I know we are young and I feel stupid for how I feel. I am trying to get over it and just get me back to my old happy self.
Does anyone have any ideas why I may feel the way I do? Any tips or advice? Its a bit of a fucked up complicated situation and it has brought me and James closer together in a way because we would never have talked so much had this not happened.
i am also scared they will become closer and I will end up being the third wheel or that Robert will drift away from me. I know i shouldnt let others have 'control' of my life' but im just really confused!!
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