Warning

[rope9839]

I'm going to echo a thread from the other Women's section, because I don't want to get slapped for posting there.

The question was whether or not you wanted a warning. I would guess a third or so was saying yes. I personally ran into this myself recently and put on roast for not giving a new partner a heads up.

My question to her was "When, exactly, would it have been appropriate to have that conversation?'

No, in this case, her general lack of interest in foreplay didn't help. She learned on penetration.

But, anyway, if you would like to be warned, how is it you would hope to learn that information? Cock pics seem to be universally panned. Innunendo and jokes. A heart to heart over coffee?

The answers in the other thread just made me wonder, what exactly is the currrent standard on this subject.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

A warning for or about what?

 

[rope9839]

Oh -

A warning on cock size. There was a thread on that on the Ask A Woman Section. I should have proof read this.

 

[328982]

Oh -

A warning on cock size. There was a thread on that on the Ask A Woman Section. I should have proof read this.

I don't get it, wouldn't she see your cock before you stick it in?

 

[rope9839]

Here is this cases, as odd as it sounds.

We had been ready to get intimate for a week, but her period got in the way. When we finally did get a chance to be alone, we hadn't even every made out. We laid down on a bed in a pitch black room. Just trying to make sure we were on the same page I asked "so, what do you want to do."

She said she just wanted me to fuck her. When I started to grope a bit, she said "No, I mean hop on. I want you in me." It turns out this is her norm, she really doesn't like a lot of foreplay.

Anyway, what this meant was her first introduction to my cock was when I started to push it in. She hadn't seen it, felt it up or anything It was an odd situation, for sure.

She told me afterwards she wished I would have given her a heads up. The thread on the other forum made me think this happens occassionally. Hence the post.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

If you warn her you will sound like the rest of the goons to feel the need to let a woman know right off the bat he's hung. Let me tell you why this is a bad idea. I've slept with a guy who warned me he was of large size. Little does he know just how big my husband is and what I'm used to feeling in my mouth, hands and vag. When his pants came down I saw a smaller than average cock. While big cocks aren't my thing really. I still was disappointed because I thought I was going to see something similar to my man or even bigger.

Just let her discover it for herself. That's what my husband did. It was way Sexier than had he told/bragged about it beforehand.

I sized it up with my hand in the dark and I didn't have the heart to tell him I was probably not going to be able to handle it. We were having intense foreplay for hours. I was wet but I don't think I was ever ready for the difficulties I had.

Wait, she didn't even touch your peen before you entered her? Omg. Wtf.

Nevermind. I read th e other post.

 

[rope9839]

No, she didn't. Oddest thing ever.

While I won't say the subject has never come up with someone I was hope to get intimate with, I have never in my life issued a "warning." It sounds creepy.

Like I said, just the appearance of that thread coincidental with my experience made me ask the question.

I wonder, as an aside, if she has some sexual abuse in her past. The aversion to foreplay is something I don't think I have ever encountered. It any event, it would have probably helped with the whole "fit and friction" thing, too.

 

[693987]

Not all women are big on foreplay. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether someone was abused or not, good grief.

 

[deleted924715]

...She didn't even feel it? Stroke it first? Whaaa?

So she laid there like a starfish or something and you "hopped on"?

How awkward.

 

[rope9839]

...She didn't even feel it? Stroke it first? Whaaa?

So she laid there like a starfish or something and you "hopped on"?

How awkward.

Basically, until things got going a bit.

 

[rope9839]

Not all women are big on foreplay. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether someone was abused or not, good grief.

I shouldn't have written it that way, like there was cause and effect. I suspect a few things because of what I know about her and her story.

Sorry if it was looking like I was trying to make a generalization.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Innunendo and jokes. A heart to heart over coffee?

Yes. But again, only if you have something truly unusual. More than 8" of length, or more than 6" of girth, for real? Tell me. Find a way. If you can. Crack a joke, make it funny. Or, say you'd like to talk about something that has come up in the past, and have a quick, serious chat with me. This is fine. Don't brag. Don't send pictures I have not requested. I'm not gonna be mad if it doesn't happen though, I'd just appreciate a warning. I like foreplay, though. I would find out before penetration. I would definitely advise immediately telling a woman in the dark who doesn't want foreplay that you think she should have a look at it first, and decide if she is sure she doesn't need some foreplay or lube, if you truly are unusually large.

 

[rope9839]

I've been at this awhile and I have to say it was pretty unique. Usually there is at least some fumbling around or cuddling first, even if thing proceed pretty quickly. I've had the lights turned on in a dark room once that happened, just to get a good look at things.

I still crack up at the idea of sitting down over coffee "Hon, we need to talk..." I would think you would get laughed away from the table 49 times out of 50, even if it was a legit concern.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

When to, ahem, bring it up?

Without foreplay, I can't imagine I'd be able to even think about even an upper average. Ouch.
So, my answer is in foreplay. But the Gentleman of Considerable Size did make sure we were pressed tightly against each other in a kiss so I didn't completely get a shock.

Thinking back, I recall a similar brush up with most guys.

Is this bragging by pantomimes?

 

[rope9839]

Yeah, there is usually something. I will say, though, even with some significant clothed frottage, I have gotten still gotten some surprised reactions when the clothes actually come off. If you rub up against something big, you still have to make some mental image of what that means. I would guess sometimes that means over and underestimating.

Another thing in play here might be that I am an older guy. It's not like I am walking around with an erection if the wind blows in the right direction like I did years ago. Her rushed request and my first erection around her came at about the same time, pretty much when we laid down.

Like I said, we had waited some time and had been really flirty all night in the case. She just wanted it now. I will admit that she is a little rough around the edges and I was taken aback a bit by the whole "hop on" thing.

I was also really surprised at how small she was down there. It really was and is a ridiculously snug fit. Should she have warned me about that? Lol.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I'm pretty sure I got a brush up from someone your senior.
Based on guys 30+ using "older."

 

[AlteredEgo]

Is this bragging by pantomimes?

When men press against me insistently, it seems to be mostly because it feels good to them. It does not feel good to me, and invariably, I stop them.

Should she have warned me about that?

Only if she actually is unusual, and has enough experience to know.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

When men press against me insistently, it seems to be mostly because it feels good to them. It does not feel good to me, and invariably, I stop them.

Ah, I don't get "insistent" all that often. I'll make a dog-humping-leg comment and they ususally straighten up.
I get the tangled legs press.

 

[EllieP]

I don't get it, wouldn't she see your cock before you stick it in?

Actually no. And I am a victim.

Ever had one of those take off your clothes and do it episodes? Come on, you know you did. I did.

We had been together three weeks, but we had not yet consummated our relationship. He had been terribly promiscuous, so I asked that he be tested. I got tested as well. Both negative. Still wasn't convinced, so I asked for one more test. Am I a bitch that I asked for a third?

Well, it was time for a celebration! And like I said, we took off our clothes, or some of our clothes, and did it. There was no touching, or foreplay, and I realize now he did that on purpose out of fear I would chicken out. That's happened to him. Foreplay was ridiculous in our state anyway.

You must understand that I had been celibate for almost two years. Yes, we had petted and got ourselves really aggravated before, so I knew he had a penis, and he knew I had boobs. But he was never unveiled until I was sure I wouldn't die from some horrible STD.

Almost immediately I realized something wasn't right. I mean it wasn't wrong, but it wasn't regular. I thought it was me because maybe I didn't remember everything. Somewhere in the dark corners of my mind came a voice saying "he's hung," and I never experienced such before. It surprises me how quickly I became accustomed!

So, yes, it happens that there is a surprise at awkward times.

 

[rope9839]

Actually no. And I am a victim.

Ever had one of those take off your clothes and do it episodes? Come on, you know you did. I did.

We had been together three weeks, but we had not yet consummated our relationship. He had been terribly promiscuous, so I asked that he be tested. I got tested as well. Both negative. Still wasn't convinced, so I asked for one more test. Am I a bitch that I asked for a third?

Well, it was time for a celebration! And like I said, we took off our clothes, or some of our clothes, and did it. There was no touching, or foreplay, and I realize now he did that on purpose out of fear I would chicken out. That's happened to him. Foreplay was ridiculous in our state anyway.

You must understand that I had been celibate for almost two years. Yes, we had petted and got ourselves really aggravated before, so I knew he had a penis, and he knew I had boobs. But he was never unveiled until I was sure I wouldn't die from some horrible STD.

Almost immediately I realized something wasn't right. I mean it wasn't wrong, but it wasn't regular. I thought it was me because maybe I didn't remember everything. Somewhere in the dark corners of my mind came a voice saying "he's hung," and I never experienced such before. It surprises me how quickly I became accustomed!

So, yes, it happens that there is a surprise at awkward times.

That is similar to what happened here, other than it was the monthly cycle that pushed it back. A couple of times in the previous week we had started to cuddle or kiss and she stopped it, because she didn't want to get started if she wasn't going to finish.There was a lot of anticipation built up. It wasn't the only time in my life that the first time really had no frills. It's kind of primal and can lead to some pretty good sex.