Was being gay a choice for you?

HungBtmVegas

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I've always wondered how to word this properly without being disrespectful, but I've been curious about this. Was being gay a choice for you (those that this applies), or was it something that just always felt like it's who you are?

For me, I have chosen to be hetero all my life because enjoy women with the utmost passion. Every bit of their bodies, voice, abilities, etc. So I was curious if this is a similar feel for those who enjoy the company of the same sex only.
No, I've attracted to men and only men since I was old enough to feel attraction
 
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dallas21

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I wouldn't say it was a choice because I loved men before I even knew there was a name for it. I knew as early as 5 years old, but wouldn't know that it mattered until years later. My earliest crushes were on boys and male teachers. I had never been exposed to sex but I had a strong desire to connect with men on a level so deep that it would be like merging our bodies and souls together. Later I looked back and recognized that those feelings were simply sexual and romantic desire. I had never been molested, shown inappropriate material, or influenced in any way. Its just how I was wired.

I remember being somewhere between age 7 and 9 reading a church pamphlet that my grandmother had about homosexuality and imagine my surprise when I realized that it was describing me! I fought against it until about age 12 or 13 when I finally told myself that there was no use in beating myself up about it. It just is what it is.
 

playklax01

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I wouldn't say it was a choice because I loved men before I even knew there was a name for it. I knew as early as 5 years old, but wouldn't know that it mattered until years later. My earliest crushes were on boys and male teachers. I had never been exposed to sex but I had a strong desire to connect with men on a level so deep that it would be like merging our bodies and souls together. Later I looked back and recognized that those feelings were simply sexual and romantic desire. I had never been molested, shown inappropriate material, or influenced in any way. Its just how I was wired.

I remember being somewhere between age 7 and 9 reading a church pamphlet that my grandmother had about homosexuality and imagine my surprise when I realized that it was describing me! I fought against it until about age 12 or 13 when I finally told myself that there was no use in beating myself up about it. It just is what it is.

Your realization mirrors mine. Same ages and events but without the church pamphlet. Earliest years I knew I wanted to be 'closer' to certain males. Like want to be their best friend, but more. The 'more' part I had no idea what it was or meant then. It was like a deep craving. Before becoming a teen I still had no idea there was a term for it (pre-internet). I thought it was just me who felt like this and that I was all alone. Until the mid-80s hit and HIV/AIDS was all over the news. That's the first I heard about 'men who have sex with men'. It was an awful time, but at least I realized what it was/what I am, that I wasn't alone, and there are plenty of people out there like me. I never beat myself up with it though, I totally accepted it to myself fully. I stayed quiet then, paranoid someone would find out. Of course, everyone (my family and some friends) knew without saying anything. I officially came out at 19 when I was out of the house. It was such a relief to get that off my shoulders. Gold star gay, never had any desire to be with a woman. Well, a few maybe I was curious if I could, but knew I wouldn't really be into it as much as another male. I think most of us gays maybe had that thought briefly enter. I think that's normal, even for straights feeling a brief attraction for the same sex but knowing it won't really work. Or even trying it and removing all doubt.

I have a cousin a couple years younger than me. When I came out to her, she came out to me. But she chose to live a straight life. I'm sure she's probably been with women, but is married to a male (after divorcing and marrying other guys multiple times...wonder why) and has some kids. I feel bad for her not living to her true self, life's too short. But that's her choice, and I respect her enough to not out her to anyone.
 
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ILoveGames48

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Ok I will try to word this so people will understand..


Let’s say you wake up one day and there’s this sign in front of you to chose your destiny..

On the left side you choose to be straight — you’re with women and be accepted by society

On the right side you are gay— where you’re hated by those who think you are an abomination to god and basicly hated by a lot of straight judgmental people ..


That is IF you had the choice


But you don’t .. your sexual preference is already decided for you when you are born.. and as get older your mind begins to either look at guys or girls and then you get aroused by the mere thought of which one you are attracted to
 
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cedarizzo

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I've always wondered how to word this properly without being disrespectful, but I've been curious about this. Was being gay a choice for you (those that this applies), or was it something that just always felt like it's who you are?

For me, I have chosen to be hetero all my life because enjoy women with the utmost passion. Every bit of their bodies, voice, abilities, etc. So I was curious if this is a similar feel for those who enjoy the company of the same sex only.
One day I woke up and decided to be gay, zebra striped, 7'11", and have rainbow colored eyes. Only the gay thing worked. Guess I didn't try hard enough on the rest.

As so many have already said, being gay isn't a choice, no more than you chose to be straight.
 

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When I say I chose to be straight, I simply mean I have had no desire to explore the other avenues of sexual orientatation. With that, every person has the option to test a different orientation.
I, like most gay men I'd think, did indeed explore in order to find out what I liked. In college I knew I was attracted to men but still had girlfriends and tried the hetero thing for a while. It didn't work out.
 

John-Z23

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What has not been said is that a great proportion of us had experience's "early" in life that altered the course of our lives. As is the case with me.... That was not my choice then and it is not my choice today.
But I am a proud Gay Man today (btm) and I embrace who I am!