People who respond poorly to directness are part of the reason some people employ ghosting. I'm ghosting someone right now. My instincts say not to say good bye, so I'm not. He's three unanswered texts in. My read receipts are always set to allow the other party to know I can see their messages. If his phone is capable of seeing those, he must know by now I'm not speaking to him anymore. Maybe he'll freak out and pursue harder. If he does, I'll let him know I don't want to get to know him anymore. Maybe that will spark him to ask why. If so, I'll let him know I think we are not looking for the same kind of relationship. If that doesn't end it, I'll tell him the whole truth. If that doesn't end it, he's crazy. But hopefully, he'll just go away. I'm not the one for him, because he is certainly not for me. Too bad. He was fantastically pretty. In case I forget, his name is saved to my phone as Firstname is Bullshit.
Idk about that, but I suppose it depends on the situation, and you have your reasons.
I know it's probably different (generally) for guys and girls. Obviously making a big generalization here, but girls pursuing something past it's "expiration date" can be seen as clingy, but also maybe an ego boost. But guys doing it can be seen as desperate or creepy.
But us guys can have fragile egos, too. And the dating world is hell enough as it is, with the rejection and anxiety and constant introspection and self examination. Might it be better to find a way to let him down easy first, and then employ the ghosting if he doesn't take the rejection?
Or hell, maybe ghosting is the better technique. Then, he can fill in the blank with whatever story protects his ego best lol.
I've had a girl just suddenly quit responding to me before, I don't think I was being creepy, but might have come off a bit desperate. I was just really into her, and we got along so well, and she was just my perfect type: gorgeous, sweet, soft, shy, got my sense of humor, a little nerdy, sexy in that hot librarian way. Which is an INCREDIBLY hard type for me to actually find and meet. Basically, had it pretty bad for her, and thought we'd be so good together, I'd treat her so good, all that.
We'd text and talk often, just in a friend way, but there was enough flirtation reciprocated to make me feel like I was making progress. Then, one summer, maybe I got too flirtatious (not in a weird sexual way) and she just quit responding. Maybe she had started dating somebody. We lived about 20 hours apart, btw.
And of course, I was so hard up, I sent several texts over the course of a couple weeks. Probably just like 6 or 7, but still, should've got the message or let it go, sooner. But sometimes, not so easy to take off the blinders when you've got it bad lol.
But looking back, at the time when it was all over, it made me feel kinda pathetic, desperate, creepy. Even though it really wasn't that bad, I might analyze too hard, but it kinda, for me, gave the whole thing an extra layer, or multiple layers, of rejection, shame, negative introspection and sense of self worth, etc.
Got a message from her a month or so later, just "I'm sorry" and of course, I played it off as no big deal "You've got nothing to apologize for! Hope your _______ is going well!" And we talked for a little bit. I'm definitely not gonna guilt trip or play the self pity card. But it might have spared me a lot of that just to say she doesn't think we should talk for a while, she's dating somebody, she's not interested in me like that, or something
