Was Jesus Christ hung?

[Ren69]

And you choose to resurrect the dead, by reviving this thread?

You right!

 

[allan1015]

Hell ya, Jesus was hung! And if you ever saw "The Passion of the Christ" he was a total S/M pig bottom!

 

[Calboner]

Disturbing topic. I think it's blasphemy in it's purest form.

And you choose to resurrect the dead, by reviving this thread?

ZING!! wned2:

Jesus was popular with the ladies because (hold arms out) he was hung "like this".

And he said, "Verily, I can see my house from up here."

And Jesus wasn't hung; he was crucified.

Stop! You're killing me! :lmao:

Seriously, though, folks, there is a scholarly book called The Sexuality of Christ in Renaissance Art and Modern Oblivion by Leo Steinberg (passage quoted below from the Amazon.com page). I recall that at least one of the paintings that it discusses shows Christ with a stiffy showing through the draperies on his lap. As I recall, this was a way of expressing the idea of his resurrection. No shit!

Originally published in 1983, Leo Steinberg's classic work has changed the viewing habits of a generation. After centuries of repression and censorship, the sexual component in thousands of revered icons of Christ is restored to visibility. Steinberg's evidence resides in the imagery of the overtly sexed Christ, in Infancy and again after death. Steinberg argues that the artists regarded the deliberate exposure of Christ's genitalia as an affirmation of kinship with the human condition. Christ's lifelong virginity, understood as potency under check, and the first offer of blood in the circumcision, both required acknowledgment of the genital organ. More than exercises in realism, these unabashed images underscore the crucial theological import of the Incarnation. This revised and greatly expanded edition not only adduces new visual evidence, but deepens the theological argument and engages the controversy aroused by the book's first publication.

 

[cocktaste]

Yeah, well, if we believe everything the Church has ever said, Jesus must've been better-hung than most guys here: Nine churches have claimed to possess Jesus' foreskin, while 17th-century theologian Leo Allatius claimed that it rose along with Jesus and became the rings of Saturn. Since the turn of the century, relics in general and Holy Foreskins in particular seem to be "phasing out" of Christianity.

Other churches have claimed to possess his hair, blood, fingernails, and umbilicus, along with Mary's breast milk.

 

[rickygNOLA]

.......hung AND gay....i hear the apostles called him Jesulla as in, "oh hell, there goes Jesulla walking across the water again......"

 

[B_girthless]

It's a total myth that Jesus was well-hung. In fact, I have it on good authority that he was the first documented case of SPH syndrome.

 

[B_OtterJoq]

He's pretty well hung, but it takes the dude fuckin' forever to come a second time.

 

[rickygNOLA]

He's pretty well hung, but it takes the dude fuckin' forever to come a second time.

AAAHHHHHHHH! FUCK!!!!! i just fell out of my GD chair! you motherfucker!!! BWAAAAAHAHAAA. You're fast, man.

 

[unique_exposure]

He's pretty well hung, but it takes the dude fuckin' forever to come a second time.

xD !
That's classic. haha.

 

[cocktaste]

We should ask Mary Magdalene about his size.

 

[dougroberts1]

was he? I was told he was crucified

(sorry if someone else got to this joke before me)

 

[dougroberts1]

lighten up HungThick
!

 

[dcw4]

i was waiting for a "second coming" joke,,,

thanks!

dcw4

 

[koval]

Still no sign of the second coming after 2000 yrs. Better watch out, that's gonna be one helluva 'Blue Balls' :biggrin1:.

 

[mark115]

this is really out of line. very disrespectful. you have to know ur limits.

 

[B_Nick8]

Who knows? Who cares? Jesuschrist!

 

[Capitolhillguy]

He's pretty well hung, but it takes the dude fuckin' forever to come a second time.

This is the best quote so far

Jesus was a recycled pagan god Osiris/Dionysus. There is no evidence that a historical Jesus Christ ever existed. Sorry to disappoint you. When I fantasized about Jesus in a loin cloth hanging from the cross he simply had be well hung. He had to be hung like a god and have life giving cum that could make you drunk like communion wine

 

[hot-rod]

BLASPHEMY!!! REALLY ITS BLASPHEMY!!

Jesus was the human incarnation of God and he remained a virgin his entire lifetime.

I am praying for you tonight.

:suspect: Say what??? Say that again real slow!:hypnotized:

 

[hot-rod]

This whole thread screams TROLL!!!!!

Besides, eveyone knows that Jesus was gay.

I think the whole croud was gay. If they were around today, going around doing what they did back then, they all would be labeled 'queer' or worse. Certainly would be looked upon as 'cult leaders'. would they not???????

 

[hudsoj3]

No He Was Put On A Cross.................... Lol