Watching Gay Guys get yelled at.

[datdude]

Something I wanted to share. Just an experiance I had the other day at the beach that I have been thinking about and wanted to share.

2 Gay guys where walking holding hands on the boardwalk. No big deal and not bothering anyone. All of a sudded 3 guys, college age, run up and yell at them. Faggots! You Fucking Fags!!

They walked off laughing. I was shocked and dumbfounded. Then later I was kind of pissed about it. What if that was me and my girl? Someone comes up and does some ignorant shit like that. These guys where minding there own buisness and these jerks ruined their day for no reason.

I was shocked. I hope Karma comes thewir way soon.

 

[crescendo69]

We gay guys are often called names; some take it better than others.
I get a little scared of confrontation, myself, especially with more than one bigot (homophobe)(self-hating closet-case). I am glad you empathize with others that are different in non-important ways.

 

[dudepower1982]

That's one reason I like hanging out with straight guys ("fag stags")...because if I was with a group of friends, and (hypothetically) had a boyfriend whom I was showing affection to while we were with our group of friends, the bigots would be less likely to attack us if they see other dudes in our group.

If it's two gay guys by themselves, or two gay boyfriends hanging out with a group of all-female friends, the bigots are more likely to be confrontational.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

All of a sudded 3 guys, college age, run up and yell at them. Faggots! You Fucking Fags!!

The louder someone does the male posturing thing, the more I suspect that they are closeted in some way.

 

[Male Bonding etc]

I had a new experience recently. I was visiting Black's Beach in San Diego for the first time, and I wandered (nude) beyond one of the boundaries. It took me a few minutes, but I did eventually realize that I was the only naked person (even though NO one deigned to tell me I'd left the nude preserve until I'd already started back).

Just as I was crossing back into the okay part, a guy who looked like a retired Marine or something curled his lips back and then spat in my direction... and THEN called me a faggot. I haven't been called names all that often, and I'm pretty sure I've never been called that name before. I also haven't been spat at since I was five or six (and my brother got his mouth washed out with soap for doing it).

It was just weird. Mainly I figured the guy was fucked up one way or another, but it must be extremely difficult for people who get called names all the time. I didn't hit the guy or get into a yelling match with him... anyway, the long and the short of it is that it felt really strange to be in that position.

 

[B_rag0007]

I was in a gay bar ......whereby these two so called " butchies" walked

in and started pushing people around......one of the very obvious gay

table waiters grabbed one of the "butchies" and dragged him outside

beat the hell out of him and told him to ......"go home and tell your

mother you got beat-up by a faggot " .

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Were those supposed to be links or something?

 

[cklover]

Oh man, sometimes, as a younger man, I BURNED with rage. Now, as a 50-something gay man, I will never forget the mindless comdemnation of str8t's. Biology, with it's strict guidelines, makes str8 men and women behave the way they do (hating gay men and women).

 

[HERCSURF]

True story here..

My bf and I were walking out of a club in Boston and we were holding hands.. and we stopped at the red light and we were kissing. There were plenty of people around but whatever. Anyway this car drives by on one side where two girls with two gusy yell out " Shit thats HOT" And immediately on the other side a car with four guys in it yell out " Fags.. you Fags"

We both laughed and i floated them the finger.. and what happens but they get stopped at a light...So I walk over...and say to the guys...
" whats up man.. you have a problem that Im a fag?" The guy just looks at me.. then i liek look inside the car and say " You know bro I dont see any girls in your car.. all i see is 4 guys.. so either your all fags also or your a bunch of ugly fucks who couldnt hook up tonite.. so which is it" The dudes just looked at me and sped off when the light turned.

Now im not saying to be confrontational.. but some people need to get it thrown back at them.. and most times they will back down..

Basically a few dicks like that.. some say to ignore it but Im more the fact that you should say something back..

 

[Male Bonding etc]

I'm sure I could figure out some witty comeback line for that situation, but I rather doubt that it will happen again... What I did say was, "You don't need to be calling people names, man."

He responded with, "Fuck you."

Maybe he was hoping we would be rolling in the sand shortly, throwing punches and shit... so that he could have some male contact he was missing? Who knows! I decided not to indulge him further.

 

[HotBulge]

Do people feel that it's the younger straight guys that have a greater need to demonstrate their masculinity/heterosexuality than older straight males?

Independently, I do agree with DJXNORTO that the closet cases tend to be more vocal about their homo/bisexuality.

 

[Male Bonding etc]

Younger people tend to be more caught up in impressing their peers than those of us who've matured a little. If it seems like their crowd is okay with insulting people, they can often try to outdo each other, no matter what their most personal feelings might be.

I used to be pretty conscientious about expressing myself honestly, but I succumbed a few times to doing what I thought was expected of me by my peers (all the while asserting that I was NOT one to be influenced by peer pressure). That kind of behavior should not be encouraged of course, but we have to acknowledge that it is pretty normal.

 

[SteveHd]

Biology, with it's strict guidelines, makes str8 men and women behave the way they do (hating gay men and women).

Hate might be an innate emotion but hating a group is learned.

 

[weylun]

Something I wanted to share. Just an experiance I had the other day at the beach that I have been thinking about and wanted to share.

2 Gay guys where walking holding hands on the boardwalk. No big deal and not bothering anyone. All of a sudded 3 guys, college age, run up and yell at them. Faggots! You Fucking Fags!!

They walked off laughing. I was shocked and dumbfounded. Then later I was kind of pissed about it. What if that was me and my girl? Someone comes up and does some ignorant shit like that. These guys where minding there own buisness and these jerks ruined their day for no reason.

I was shocked. I hope Karma comes thewir way soon.

I hope there are more people like you in this world. You are right, we gay people are no different from straight people. We love each other and we hold hands. We don't run around bashing straight people just because they have different sexual orientation. To me, what you fuck in bed has nothing to do with me.

Can you imagine all the gay people start doing straight-bashing on the street? That's just pure violence and should be punished.

 

[biguy2738]

I am overwhelmed by sadness....truly I am.

When I stop and put myself in your shoes and ask myself how I'd feel if I had to think twice about holding hands with my wife, kissing her, hugging her, holding her in public - simple everyday things that I take for granted. The sense of being caught in a rock and a hard place because either I express my emotions in an environment where it will be met by stares, heads shaking, muttering, laughing, insults and confrontation or feeling completely restricted within myself by with holding such expressions of my love for fear of "antagonising or offending".

God, how the hell are you able to walk around with your heads held high and share about such experiences in such a light hearted way? How do you deal with your anger so well (I have never had to experience any of this yet just after reading this I am seething, argh, how I could hide bodies right now...)? What the F...gives me the right to not only judge but to try to restrict others from experiencing things that I readily and consciously take for granted?

I am left with the question: Everytime I reach out and hold my wife's hand in public, or kiss her, hold her...am I consciously aware of how freely I do it and how my gay brothers and sisters do so with a sense of looking over their shoulders?

I could carry on with this rant...and i don't even know if it makes sense...but I think I'd much rather go sit in a corner right now with my sadness and challenge myself to grow. Thank you for your sharing - I have been challenged.

 

[matticus201]

First of all, I want to preface this story with something. I love straight people. I know fully well that not everyone is a bigotted asshole, as this thread so wonderfully illustrates. Thanks guys, but being open-minded and awesome. I just think it's a shame that it even has to be recognized. Everyone should have the sensitivity to see things they way ya'll do.

When I was in college, I experienced a few instances where I was called a "Faggot" while wondering around 6th Street, but never really did anything, just kind of shrugged it off, untill one evening on 4th street, which is the gay area, such as it is. My boyfriend and I were walking back to the car, and, like some of the other stories here, a car with 3 guys our age, early to mid 20s, yelled "Faggot!" out the door of thier shitty 76 Camaro (what is it with yelling this outside the doors of cars?). Anyway, I don't know what happened, but I completely snapped. I yelled back "Why don't you come say that to my face, little dick!" The car whirled around in the middle of the street, screeches to a halt, and these three guys jump out and come running towards us. My poor boyfriend was scared shitless, but I sure wasn't. I completely bum rushed the one in front, just beat the shit out of him. It was one of those moments where you don't really remember what happened, you know? I just remember thinking "I'm not taking this shit tonight. Not from them, not here." The boyfriend jumped in the fray as well, and evidently so did two huge gay muscle dudes that were also leaving another bar nearby (one of which is still a very good friend... talk about sharing a moment!) Anyhoo, I ended up in the hospital with a broken nose and a nice little misdemeanor on my record, but I wasn't the only one. The three straight guys and my boyfriend also had some battle scars, and the one driving ended up getting arrested. Anyway, I'm not saying that what I did was right, in fact, I think it was pretty wrong, actually. But I can tell you, I don't regret it at all. I lost my fear that night, as in all of it. So, I guess good things can come out of those situations.

If it'd been me on that boardwalk, I'm pretty sure some pants would have been pissed in, and they wouldn't have been mine....

Cheers!

 

[sugarhouse.josh]

If there were only more people that thought like you, Biguy2738. My partner and I have been together four years and live in Utah. We experience bull-shit like this all the time.
We were at an outdoor mall (the Gateway) in downtown Salt Lake City, shopping and hanging out. We were walking back to our car- holding hands and didn't think a thing of it until this car pulled up next to us. A twenty-something boy yelled out the window, "WE HATE FUCKING FAGGOTS!" as they cut us off at the crosswalk.
I usually don't know what to say or how to respond when this sort of thing happens- but without missing a beat I yelled back, "WE HATE IGNORANT CHILDREN!" It was just cleansing to be able to get it out of my system, instead of letting it eat me up inside.
Why can't people just live and let live- I don't want to know what goes on in anyone else’s bedroom- why should anyone care about mine? Thanks to all you cool straight guys! You guys really get it- and we appreciate it!

 

[biguy2738]

If there were only more people that thought like you, Biguy2738. Why can't people just live and let live- I don't want to know what goes on in anyone else’s bedroom- why should anyone care about mine? Thanks to all you cool straight guys! You guys really get it- and we appreciate it!

Josh, your kind words really aren't a credit to me at all. It is because of people like you that I am able to be in the place that I am in. By saying "people like you" I mean gay people and I say it with the utmost respect and gratitude. If it wasn't for threads such as this one and your willingness to share deeply of your hardship and pain, I'd be oblivious to it and less of a person because of it. I am the one that is indebted to "people like you"!

It's a day later and I haven't been able to get this thread and the sharing therein out of my head. My sense of pain isn't any less and you, dear Josh have added to it. Why do you see a need to thank us for getting it? By right, you truly don't owe us anything, you are merely getting what you are entitled to - respect, understanding and decency. Why should you be denied it? What could you possibly be doing wrong for me or any other person to see a need to diminish you of such fundamental rights?

Have I seen a need to approach the gay community to explain why I am in a heterosexual relationship? Do I have a need to try to explain myself so that you can understand and accept me? Have you as a gay community demanded that of me? We both know that the answer is no, so then what right do I have to demand or even begin to expect it of you?

Josh, please, PLEASE don't ever feel indebted to "people like us" because quite frankly our debt to you for the grave injustice and lack of common decency is one too high to ever be paid. By right, we as straight people ought to be at the forefront of fighting for gay rights, not gay people...us! We are the ones that have stripped you of your rights and it's our responsibility to right that wrong...and acknowledge our debt, because the wounds that we have inflicted upon you are wounds that I doubt will ever find healing.

What about the parents that have raised their children with a sense of having something wrong with them? Of feeling as if they aren't accepted or don't belong? Or the people that treat you with scorn, disrespect, that spit on you, that force you to wear the coarse fabric of their prejudice?

We ought to thank you for being willing to speak to us, for not swearing at us and for not spitting on us because such treatment would be deserved. We ought to thank you for being understanding when in fact we are the ones that owe you an explanation.

It is times such as this, when I'd rather be gay and be spat on than be straight have life so easy...and live with such tremendous shame!

 

[Vertigochic]

I think that is unacceptable. Unfortunately I live in the South-GA and I am not a Southern by birt. There is still a lot of racism and it is very apparent. Also being in the "bible belt" you see all these hypocritical people preaching the word..yet they are the people who behave the worse....name calling, drunks, etc.....hey don't thrown stones if you live in a glass house....

 

[Dave NoCal]

Biguy2738,

Your heartfelt response reminds me of a wonderful, yet extremely poignant, experience I had a number of years ago. To keep it brief, my partner and I were traveling with a number of people who were not well known to me and that my partner had just met. They were all heterosexual. It was a several week trip and on the last night we met in a bar and had a couple. People said various things about their experience of the trip, sort of a summing-up experience.

My partner expressed his appreciation for the acceptance he had experienced from the group. Among the group members was a young man who immediately responded that it really pissed him off that the situation is such that my partner would have to think about that or comment upon it. He continued speaking about this very emphatically for several more minutes.

Like you, he got it. He understood the magnitude of the problem rather than basking in feeling good about being cool. Someone recently told me, and I can't remember the source, that on the avarage gay youth hear some sort of anti-gay slur thirty-eight (THIRTY-EIGHT) times a day. We can't do what needs to be done by ourselves. We need the help of people like you doing what you ahe been doing here and my young friend speaking up.

Dave

Dave