watching

[sketcher]

Originally posted by LongTimeComing@Apr 1 2005, 02:41 PM
I'm sure all of us guys do it differently. One suggestion to you, though... If you want to see him pleasure himself, let him do it how he does it. It might sound to him that you are being critical or judgemental about how he jerks off. It's probably embarrassing enough the first few times doing it in front of your wife, the added pressure might really affect more than just his masturbation -- it may make him question his sexual performance in general especially since he's not too experienced. Tread lightly.

Maybe after this is a comfortable routine, you could tell him it would turn you on to "direct" him in his masturbation... that might be a turn on for him, too.

[post=295866]Quoted post[/post]​

good point. Guys and our precious egos. SexyJean, if your dh has to do it that way, at least you know he's being honest with you. I have to say, though--I could do it any which way. I think I LITERALLY could masturbate my way out of a paper bag.

heh.

 

[steve319]

Might it be a logical hypothesis to suggest (please sink this if you think it’s off base) that perhaps the wonderful ladies who grace us with their presence and wisdom here at the LPSG (thanks to you all! you're a truly integral part of things.) might be just a tiny bit predisposed to an appreciation for the male member and thus, maybe, male masturbation?

I’ve seen both sides of that coin. I’ve had a girlfriend who loved to watch (and was really encouraging when helping me overcome my shyness at performing for her) and one who was kind of freaked out when I indulged in some personal pleasure for her (all in an effort to demonstrate how excited she made me, honest&#33.

I think there might be lots of different comfort levels with this sort of thing, maybe just based on personality, experience, and individual “turn-ons.”

Similarly, I’ve found that, at first, some women have a really hard time pleasuring themselves for my enjoyment (something I just love to see&#33. Might this be more difficult for some women to do since there’s another layer of misplaced “guilt” there because of the unfair societal double standard about masturbation?

Maybe?

(BTW, SexyJean, thanks for taking into account your partner’s feelings when dealing with his unique personal method. Even the most boisterous and exhibitionistic of us can be vulnerable about our habits.)

One last thing: I always tell my students that there are no stupid questions, so in that spirit, let me ask….what does “dh” stand for? (Be kind if I’m being naïve. I can be vulnerable too&#33

 

[InsertHere]

Originally posted by steve319@Apr 3 2005, 03:15 AM
Similarly, I’ve found that, at first, some women have a really hard time pleasuring themselves for my enjoyment (something I just love to see&#33. Might this be more difficult for some women to do since there’s another layer of misplaced “guilt” there because of the unfair societal double standard about masturbation?

[post=296311]Quoted post[/post]​

I have to admit that I used to be rather self-conscious about masturbating in front of my boyfriend, but I don't believe that this was due to a double standard about masturbation. He obviously knew that I'm a very sexual person and that I did masturbate, and I wasn't self-conscious about that. I think my reluctance stemmed more from insecurity about my body. I mean, imagine all the horrible things he'll see when he's doing nothing but watch me! It is sort of a compromising position, isn't it? lol

 

[madame_zora]

Steve, I think you're right that the women who have found this place are more likely to be the type who love penises in the first place! Sure different women have varying comfort levels, and you'd be well advised to find this out in advance.

Male and female masturbation are very different things, IMHO. It easier for men to masturbate, no special equipment needed! It's exciting, lots of action. The penis has visible reactions to the stimualtion, which is very arousing, and then of course, the money shots! With women, it's just not as exciting, clit stimualtion is flat out boring, if you can stay interested in that, I commend you! I bore myself sometimes, I'm not joking. Then, if penetration is going to happen, there's a dildo involved, probably lube, towels, a lot more prep and a lot less spontanaiety. Personally, I have a tough time staying aroused without a partner, it often takes me over an hour to reach orgasm and by then I'm annoyed. I'm sure if I had a dick and could whip it out anytime and self-pleasure, I'd never leave it alone, but as a woman, it's just not that fun. I'm sure different women feel differently about this as well though.

 

[steve319]

Yeah, mme zora, I’d bet you’re right that the simple physical differences contribute to a differing attitude toward self pleasure. There’s something about having everything on the exterior that surely makes it a more…obvious option. Easier access makes things more appealing too, I guess, just as I imagine larger size might, at least at first.

Anyway, I’ve always gotten a bit of a kick from watching a partner enjoy pleasuring herself. Beyond just the erotic fun of it, I think that part of the appeal for me is seeing it as sort of a female empowerment/transcendence thing. Sort of a moving beyond the barriers placed on women here in the rural south. And, for the most part, my partners have been able to take substantial pleasure in their masturbation (or learned to), even if not always able to reach an orgasm, particularly if I make it clear how much I love it.

BTW, I just love your way with words! I laughed aloud when you wrote “and by then I’m annoyed.” Great stuff!

And InsertHere, compromising position indeed! LOL!

Thanks for the insight and the candid perspective!

 

[SexyJean]

Ladies, how long can your men jerk off?

My husband has been able to play with himself for up to 3 hours. I thought most guys did it in 10-15 minutes. He takes a few breaks (bathroom, change of materials :9 ) but his ability to masterbate for that long a time dwarfs his staying power when we have sex. He says he can make it take longer when he's masterbating than years ago, so I am hoping that maybe his staying power with me will also be increased (not to 3 hours -- I'd take 1 hour! )

The 3-hour marathons are rare, though. Most of the time, it takes him 1 - 1 1/2 hours. He's also done some quickies that take as little as 5-10 minutes. The longer he's gone without sex, the longer he lasts.

 

[amethyst]

Originally posted by sketcher@Mar 13 2005, 10:30 PM
do you women like to see a man masturbate? ...to ejaculation? ...what about mutual masturbation? is that a turn on, or just a thing to do when intercourse isn't an option(for whatever reason)?
my GF seems to be fascinated by watching me jerk off, but women i've been with in the past have been repulsed. what's the deal?

[post=290730]Quoted post[/post]​

Yes, yes, yes, and yes. HUGE turn on! Oh, yes. Mmmmm. :9