Wazzaaa

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by ETown7, Feb 13, 2005.

  1. ETown7

    ETown7 Active Member

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    Well, hello all!!

    The name is ETown7, just because I had previously used likwidflame, and lost email addresses and passwords and such. You can call me whatever you want, ladies and gentlemen; just don't call me later for dinner.

    Corniness aside (HA!, that's going to be tough); I've been around LPSG for about 4 years, with long absences. I remember when it was forum.lpsg.org, and I was 17. I think that's right at least. Why am I coming out from under my cock...err, rock?

    I've had some experiences in the past year or two that have shone me onto knowing I have a larger than normal penis.

    I was engaged for 2 years with a girl, and she cheated on me, for a tow truck driver but before the evil happened, the first time we were going to have sex, I couldn't fit the condom on. I just passed it off as that being a normal thing to happen. So, I went out and bought 'large' condoms and that was that. It pissed me off, because if I ever wanted colors or ribbed, they'd be too damn tight; so I had to forego the pleasentries of a green cock. My ex also tried to deep throat me, and she started making funny noises. I thought sex was supposed to be fun, so I laughed. She never sucked me off again... GARR! It turns out she was gagging pretty hard.

    So, after we broke up, I was working for a large scale arcade (Canadians know them as Playdium), and I met a girl (we'll call her DiscoLady). I went over to her house to help her with some homework, and she had a dildo as a house mascot. So, I quickly sized up el dildo and I asked her if she's ever used it, to which she said 'No, it's way to fucking big'. I told her that I was bigger than "Pinky", which she so aptly named (it was pink :p). She passed it off as 'Yeah right, uh huh'. Since I had missed my last bus home, she asked me to stay the night on her couch. Sure, beats going home and wacking off. SO, finally she convinced me to sleep on her bed, because I was having an awkward time fitting on this tiny couch. She said it was cool to cuddle (I don't tread on turf I don't know about), and so I put my arm under her pillow and my other arm around her, trying not to touch her boob. She asked me what I was doing, and I told her the truth, so she put my hand right on her boob and said "Squeeze". Well, at this point me being the breast man I am, I went to full staff. I apologized, and she said "what for?", and I told her I was hard as a rock. Her exact words were to my chagrin "Oh, I thought that was your arm!". So, I reminded her of the conversation we had earlier, and she wanted final proof. So, I asked her if she wanted to see it, and originally she had said no. No problem for me, because she's the one calling the shots tonight. Then she finally turned around and said "Ok, yes!". I whipped it out, and she looked like she was about to faint. She finally believed me, but we didn't have sex, because I respected her choices and she was still to afraid to take me all in. We had alot of fun, but I didn't get a BJ either, because she just had her wisdom teeth taking out as well. But man did we have fun.

    Then I had met up with my cousin's ex-girlfriend online and we started chatting. I showed her a couple of pictures and we had sex a couple of nights later, with her saying "I've never had anybody as thick as you". I finally started to clue in. I had a big penis. At least to these girls.

    The final kick in the proverbial pants was when me and my buddies were chatting about a character from a british tv show "Ali G", named Borat Sagdyev. In one of those shows he was quoted as saying (in a russian tone) "I want the ladies to know how big I am, Big, Big like can of pepsi". My friends were laughing at how ridiculous it would be to have that big of a penis. Now, I don't have a Coke-can cock, but it's wrist thick, not to far away from that though. So I finally realized that I am bigger than average, and should tell my very basic story. :p

    For those wondering:

    6'0", 185 lbs., Mr. Softy=~3-4 inches, Mr. Big=~7-8 inches (i've never measured with a soft tape) long, and my wrist thick at the base and to the middle. I plan on becoming an RCMP officer, before I'm 25 (21, now) and I play bass guitar.

    Odds are i'll be posting my occasional $0.02, so i'll be around.
     
  2. ziggity

    ziggity New Member

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    funny story, and welcome, from an LPSG newbie :D :D
     
  3. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    Billy Sheehan is a good bass player. He was in the band Mr. Big (maybe thats where you got the name from lol. Anyway yeah I like that band and welcome to the site. I play guitar for 5 minutes every blue moon, I should really practice more.
     
  4. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Welcome, Etown7. A delightfully refreshing and amusing post.

    I hope your username doesn't start another Ktown argument.
     
  5. txquis

    Gold Member

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    Hey man.
     
  6. ETown7

    ETown7 Active Member

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    Well, thanks for the warm welcome, and I'll address a couple of things :p

    1. Mr. Big... Never hoid of 'em.
    2. Unlike Ktownblondy, i'm actually a real person with real photos, and i'm not here for masturbatory kicks. I live in Edmonton, Canada; hence the ETown, but I also did live in Kelowna.
    3. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker... I get my lovin' on the run. I'm not really a smoker, but you'll most likely never see me angry, unless it's a direct threat to me or my friends. I looked at that Chinese horrorscope thing, and it was pretty spot on.

    If you've got any questions about anything odd or spectacular, i'm usually your guy.

    Thanks again for the warm welcome.
     
  7. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    Welcome and enjoy your stay.
     
  8. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    I remember you...somehow!

    I'm feel like an LPSG war veteran now..."Dagnabbed youngsters!"
     
  9. ETown7

    ETown7 Active Member

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    Hehe, I was around... I made the occasional post, but mostly was a lurker back in the day. If the old board was still up, I might be able to find what i said.... :p

    What ever I said, it must have been prolific.

    And, I probably was in high school at the time :p
     
  10. SomeGuyOverThere

    Gold Member

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    Hi there, funny story!

    I think you'll 'fit in' here just fine! :D
     
  11. SomeGuyOverThere

    Gold Member

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    Look dad, nobody wants to hear your stupid war stories! :glare:



    :p
     
  12. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    The board 2nd board still exists. It's kinda scary looking at it now.

    <!--QuoteBegin-SomeGuyOverThere

    Look dad, nobody wants to hear your stupid war stories&#33;
    [/quote]
    If ahve told ya once, ahve told ya a thousand times&#33; If it weren&#39;t for us&#39;n in WWIII, you youngun&#39;s wouldn&#39;t be around ta-day&#33;
     
  13. B_Jeremy

    B_Jeremy New Member

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    Welcome to the board&#33; :) Similar story in me finding out about the lpsg years ago, and taking a while to introduce myself, hope you have fun&#33;
     
  14. Royal_T

    Royal_T New Member

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    Welcome, Etown7. A few more like you speaking up, and we canadian men can start to get the rep we deserve&#33;

    *Hint, hint, wink, points at crotch* :p
     
  15. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    Welcome back, big guy. Your&#39;s is one of the most entertaining LPSG posts I&#39;ve read in a long time. If you had shown me your Mr. Big I could have convinced you of its hugeness and saved you lots of hard knocks having to learn about it the hard way. But, then we wouldn&#39;t have the joy of sharing in your experiences, so alls well that ends well.

    Be sure to continue telling us about Mr. Big&#39;s adventures.
     
  16. ETown7

    ETown7 Active Member

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    Well, I guess it&#39;s time for another "Likwidflames Penis Story"; because of the favorable response to my first post and requests to divulge Mr. Big&#39;s adventures to the world, i&#39;ll spare some more of my time.

    All of the following information is true, and only has been edited to save time and sanity.

    As I was getting home from work, I opened up my IRC client to chat with some fellow internerds, and I told them I had a horrible day. They asked why. Well, I had found out my paycheque was going to be less than rent, i got a parking ticket, had been depressed for a couple of days because of the loniliness of being single on valentines day, and that I had been friggin&#39; my clit the wrong way (which is an inside joke with some of my real friends from work). So this one chick, we&#39;ll call her &#39;Girl from Ipanema&#39; just because it was a theme on how to get songs out of your head, thought i was serious about the whole clit frigging thing. Then she demanded proof, of course having just been off a rendevous with another friend who didn&#39;t think that my penis was humanily possible (and if she thought that, she&#39;d freak to see some people here :p), so I decided to indulge my ego and find a picture (which is posted in the members gallery or something under "It has been called &#39;Pretty&#39;") and send it too her. She didn&#39;t even deny it&#39;s authenticity (which some people do, i can understand that), nor deny it&#39;s human possibility. All she said was &#39;Wow, that&#39;s a nice big cock&#39;, in a room full of internerds, mostly guys. Since I had posted a link to the picture instead of uploading it, some of the guys clicked it and Immediately called shenanigans. It didn&#39;t matter to me, because this was my pride and glory and if some one cares to call fake-sys on my wang-sys, I know at the end of the day i&#39;m the one packing ol&#39; one eye. So, just to indulge my ego even more, I took the second picture (which is also available in the members gallery - i think) and displayed it the next day. The guys shut right up, and the &#39;Girl from Ipanema&#39; yet again was speechless. I told her that she had to pass the word around; because I&#39;ll be travelling somewhere this summer and would like some good references - and all she said was &#39;I&#39;ll definately be showing my friends, and their friends friends your penis. You&#39;ve got a nice one :p&#39;

    This was this valentines day. I never saved the chat transcript, because A) I don&#39;t know how, and 2) well, i really just don&#39;t know how.

    Catch y&#39;all on the flip side.
     
  17. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    RoysToy frantically heads to the gallery to search for Mr. Big&#39;s picture posted under " it has been called pretty". Big and pretty both -- this is going to be a real pleasure, I can feel it coming on&#33; :blush:
     
  18. godiluvabig1

    godiluvabig1 New Member

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    nice story, etown, and in case i haven&#39;t said so yet, welcome to the board... wish i could see mr. big, but i don&#39;t have a premium membership... oh well, i&#39;ll see it when i&#39;m in the navy and can get it... this summer... :p
    and trust me, i&#39;ll be admirin all the cocks on this sight :wub: :wub: i like to admire
    EDIT: I like to play with them more, though... but admiration from afar is worth it for all i&#39;ve been able to see so far...
     
  19. ETown7

    ETown7 Active Member

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    If i&#39;m correct, you should just be able to see a certain # of pictures on occasion. I don&#39;t know how this gallery works, but you should be able to search by name.

    Thanks for the welcome, and for the flattery from all... It really makes a man feel manly :p
     
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