We dont have sex anymore

[Mrblue982]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 5 years. Our sex life in the beginning was great. Not all the time but he made sure i finished. Then over time it changed and things got stale. I suggested toys and porn and thigs seemed to pick back up but it was short lived. No matter what I tried he didnt seem interested in me..


When i have brought this up he tells me that im wanting too much and that it cant be planned just has to happen naturally.

We used to sext alot and i thought we both rushed home to have sex but I'm realising now i probably rushed and he didnt. In the end he used to say it could wait till another day.

The kissing has become less and if i hug him im told to get off and that im annoying.

A few times now iv sent him tons of porn and got him horny enough to touch me in a dark room but anything past that is a no go.

I see him get slightly hard over other guys and that doesn't bother me as i do the same when seeing hot guys online or whatever, but he says that hes not the slightest bit interested in sex and that even the thought of it makes him feel like shit.

My question is if he still gets hard and watches porn and jerks off but wont even look at me am i the problem?. I know hes depressed atm but if i touch his dick it doesn't get even slightly hard no matter how hard i try and im made to feel like a pest but he gets hard easily over other guys

Is this normal for 5 years in ?

He wont even joke with me about sex so i cant even try to bring it up without being told to be quiet yet I know porn is a big deal to him.

We have both put on alot of weight so i get its different now and i know im not the same body i used to be ans i wish i could change that overnight but i cant.

What do you guys suggest?

He seems to think that im talking to other men but i would never i am loyal always.

Really hurts me deep to.not.be enough

 

[integritymatters]

Regardless of all that, you need to break up with him.
Your relationship has run its course.
I hope you'll be able to find a guy who gives you the romance and sex you need, because your current partner is quite the difficult person!

 

[dreamer20]

<I've had a> boyfriend for over 5 years. Our sex was great.Then things got stale. I suggested toys and porn...No matter what I tried he didnt seem interested in sex with me..When i've brought this up he tells me to be quiet, im wanting too much. Kissing is less, if i hug him im told get off and im annoying. I see him get hard, jerk off to porn over other guys, but he says the thought of sex makes him feel like shit. am i the problem? im made to feel like a pest. We have both put on alot of weight. He seems to think that im talking to other men but i would never i am loyal always.
What do you guys suggest?

It's time for you to stop making love to a stone. You've heard him say you are nothing but an annoyance to him. Leave him and find someone who truly loves you.

 

[kasturi]

Pl get back to your fitness and find a new partner... you deserve better

 

[Fishsqueezee69]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 5 years. Our sex life in the beginning was great. Not all the time but he made sure i finished. Then over time it changed and things got stale. I suggested toys and porn and thigs seemed to pick back up but it was short lived. No matter what I tried he didnt seem interested in me..


When i have brought this up he tells me that im wanting too much and that it cant be planned just has to happen naturally.

We used to sext alot and i thought we both rushed home to have sex but I'm realising now i probably rushed and he didnt. In the end he used to say it could wait till another day.

The kissing has become less and if i hug him im told to get off and that im annoying.

A few times now iv sent him tons of porn and got him horny enough to touch me in a dark room but anything past that is a no go.

I see him get slightly hard over other guys and that doesn't bother me as i do the same when seeing hot guys online or whatever, but he says that hes not the slightest bit interested in sex and that even the thought of it makes him feel like shit.

My question is if he still gets hard and watches porn and jerks off but wont even look at me am i the problem?. I know hes depressed atm but if i touch his dick it doesn't get even slightly hard no matter how hard i try and im made to feel like a pest but he gets hard easily over other guys

Is this normal for 5 years in ?

He wont even joke with me about sex so i cant even try to bring it up without being told to be quiet yet I know porn is a big deal to him.

We have both put on alot of weight so i get its different now and i know im not the same body i used to be ans i wish i could change that overnight but i cant.

What do you guys suggest?

He seems to think that im talking to other men but i would never i am loyal always.

Really hurts me deep to.not.be enough

Normal after 5 years? No.

Could it be related to the weight gain? Possibly.

So, what can you do? For one, you can loose weight and have him join you on the journey. You can also try other things, like nonsexual cuddling and/or rubbing his neck, back etc.

Here is a question for you, do you guys enjoy your time together? Do you go out to eat? Do you talk about what you will do together in the future?

 

[locamonk]

Might I suggest couple's counseling so the two of you can address it together? We don't know the full details and nuances of your relationship, and for some people, a lack of sex can be a deal breaker, but not for everyone. The two of you can work through what is getting in the way (lower libido or attraction? communication challenges? something else?). If you're both able to afford it and commit to it, couple's counseling can really help resolve these issues.

 

[blahblahblahhhhhhhhhh]

He is depressed either he makes an effort and goes and talk to someone with someones support or you do. Sounds more complicated than sex but sounds like this isn't really about you. No shame if you choose to move on if he's not making an effort. It's really hard to help people who don't help themselves. Sounds like you love/have loved him and it might be worth it to push him to get help but it's also ok if you move on. Only got 1 life and there are plenty of people who will love you, trust <3

 

[mars515]

I agree with most opinions here. You might need to consider moving on. Unfortunately, too often people just lose sexual attraction to their partners.

This happened to me before when i completely lost all the hots for my partner after just 15 months of dating! And to think that he’s my dream guy: Very handsome, hypermasculine etc. He didnt get less attractive, i just simply fell out of love. Familiarity breeds contempt i guess.

i did try to stick it out for a 5 more years, hoping my feelings will return but i was really a struggle for me. I was avoiding sex with him but at the same time im constantly horny. It made me feel horrible about myself and made me guilty that i couldnt even look after the relationship that i was dreaming of. Eventually we ended it.

it may not be even about you, sometimes it just ends up that way