Weight lifting and homoeroticism

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_henry miller, Oct 20, 2011.

  1. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    I've been in the weight room a lot lately. Wondering what other guys may have to say about this. I am by no means saying or suggesting that all guys who lift weight are gay or bisexual. I'm not saying that at all. But what I am saying is that in the weight room I often perceive a homoeroticism between men, whether they are gay, straight, bisexual, whatever. I don't know. I don't know the orientations of any of the guys I work out with. But I'm pretty sure I see homoerotic energy between even the straight guys.

    Now, PLEASE UNDERSTAND -- I'm NOT saying these guys necessarily have relations with other men in their own time, in the locker room, etc. I have no idea. But it's just interesting to me that there is so much homoerotic energy in the weight room.

    It's an interesting context too, because it is a context where guys can actually check each other out -- and it is okay. I see straight guys checking each other out all the time in the weight room.
     
  2. sdbg

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    When we have an interest in fitness and working out, it's normal to compare ourselves to our peers. I'm sure that most of the guys in my gym are straight, yet I see eyes wandering all the time. It's motivational to me when I see stud guys working it. I definitely push myself harder in the gym with others around than I would working out by myself.
     
  3. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

    D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang Account Disabled

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    I think the main reason it seems homoerotic is because of the main population of the gym. (and I may just be speaking for myself here) Most of the guys I know that go to gyms are interested in looking good, and when you see someone that looks like you want to it sparks interest. Not always sexual but interest in the body type and the potential of oneself.

    And on the flip side there is a bit of self-reinforcement when a guy is about to be told he has a nice *insert muscle group* by another aspiring weightlifter because it makes him feel he is doing something correct.

    And maybe way off here but I also think that it may also be something to do with machismo. When you work out you become proud of your body and thus try to show it off when you can, and who better to impress than people who are trying to do the same thing as you.

    Just my opinions on the matter, and I could be way off.

    p.s. i check out guys in the gym for 2 reasons:

    1) I'm gay, and nothing beats a hot sweaty man building muscle.
    2) There is a feel of the gym that helps keep me motivated to look like that guy, or that guy, or that guy. So maybe it is a little homoerotic but I think to an extent that's part of the support process.
     
  4. Countryguy63

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    Interesting. In what way?
     
  5. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    On another thread I'm discussing the fact that I think the labeling system (gay/straight/bi) is faulty. This is one reason.... I sometimes think that -- without knowing it -- straight guys are allowed to play out their need for homoeroticism in socially acceptable contexts. The weight room being one of them.
     
  6. str8bro1

    str8bro1 Member

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    I agree with the OP...BUT - would challenge the term "eroticism" - i think it's just male. We check everything out...to compare and enjoy. HEre's what cracks me up more - guys that can't admit that we stimply are visual and enjoy a good-looking ANYTHING. Cars, women, men, dogs,...come on people. Relax.

    The gym and my take.
    1. Most straight guys are there to do just that - lift weights, train and build their muscle
    2. They DO, however, notice the bigger guys in the room. And stare. And look. and admire. and respect.
    3. They also know if the guy is good looking or not.
    4. Doesn't mean they want to bed that guy.
    5. If they ended up in the shower with the 'bigger' guy - they would not way in hell NOT check him out.

    The guys that avoid eye contact in the gym, walk around like "do NOT distrub me", and seem to put way to much energy into being unapproachable are the ones i'm more concerned about. I sorta feel sorry for them.
     
  7. cocktailweenie

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    I'm not saying it's true in your case, but could this observation be a way of putting more muscular guys down. If you're a guy with an average build it could be a bit off putting to see a muscular dude your own age naked in the showers. Sort of like the putdown about bodybuilders having small cocks. (Not true of course, in my experience they come in a normal range.)
     
  8. flawdatiger

    flawdatiger Member

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    I disagree here. I walk around with a "do not disturb me: vibe because I want to work out and go home, not plant flowers or talk to you.

    I pretty much only talk to people after i've seen them a certain amount of times. And it's mostly because you can't help but see them regularly anyway, might as well greet when you walk in for a lift.


     
  9. D_Huckleberry Pound

    D_Huckleberry Pound New Member

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    I agree with you completely flaw.. Im not there to chat.
     
  10. str8bro1

    str8bro1 Member

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    FYI...im i the gym every single day busting my ass but i do see the guys there that for the past three years are giving the vibe of "im better than you so dont disturb me."

    THERE ARE PLENTY of dudes there that are there to lift but still give the occassional advice or encouragement to the other ins the gym as well.

    Congrats on being so dedicated - its rare. I respect that.
     
  11. flawdatiger

    flawdatiger Member

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    OK, now that you've clarified I get it. I have to say though, some people just look very impolite until you break the ice with them.

    When I am in the physical zone, I make very concentrated and criminal loking faces :)

     
  12. Gecko4lif

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    I do mma so I spend a good part of my day rolling on the ground with sweaty well muscled grunting men. We are all very aware of the potential homo erotic undertones involved and joke about it constantly.

    But in the end it isnt the least bit sexual, I know that, he knows that, everybody else know that so its all good.
     
  13. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    That's so beautiful.
     
  14. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Just because something is "erotic" doesn't mean people want to have sex with one another. That "male"-ness that you speak of could in its own way be a form of eroticism -- if only a way of waking up eroticism within oneself.
     
  15. 1Cody

    1Cody Active Member

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    I agree vision is one of our six senses and naturally we admire and that means we look at the things that are pleasing to the eye. I have been in different work military and non-military that I have met many different people. One thing I learned especially of those that seem standoffish is that it takes some people time to warm up to others. I met one guy in particular that after months finally made an effort to chat with me and afterwards I realized that he was just a quiet guy. But we were very much comfortable with each other after that. We were always near each other and we seldom talked, but the non-verbal communication was that he had my back and I had his. Coming from a time to speak and a time to be quiet household, I could really relate to this guy once I realized his silence was not menacing. In the gym, those giving the don't bother vibe probably notice the homoerotic vibe and don't want to have anything to do with it. They probably know some of you are curious and would jump their bones if given half a chance! They especially don't want you checking out their cocks in the shower! LOL! They probably wish there were completely str8 gyms, but realize there is not.
     
  16. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    I recently had an experience where a stand-offish guy proved himself to actually just be shy. He now spots me. I think that when people are shy but also good looking, we assume they are arrogant.
     
  17. bodybuilder1980

    bodybuilder1980 Active Member

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    A well sculpted female or a muscled masculine one is admired by anyone, str8, gay or bi or male or female. Its the reason why many mythical creatures and deities were created in such an image, hence the notion " Body of a God " . Beauty has no boundaries and is limitless. Its what gives this life and this world meaning like the peacock's plumage or the gallop of a mustang.
     
  18. Remington

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    Meh, nothing sexual about fitness/working out unless someone makes it into a sexual thing.
     
    #18 Remington, Nov 4, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2011
  19. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    m'eh. i didn't say "sexual." i said "homoeroticism," which isn't necessarily sexual per se.
     
  20. lasolasbud

    lasolasbud Member

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    I don’t feel particularly sexual while working-out but I do notice people around me and there are a few nice looking people. I’ll look at people for inspiration but that’s usually all I have time for. Too often people are doing exercises wrong or not at all so I avoid them; it’s a distraction. Because I start off my workout with some cardio to get the blood flowing I’m very amped and focused. After a cool down my body sort of re-metabolizes, usually while I’m showering; the endorphins and all that other stuff get realigned and that could explain why I get a boner. I try not to over analyze things; it’s too much work.
     
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