L_egit
Expert Member
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- Feb 19, 2010
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I wonder if there is a reluctance for some males to make an approach when "she's out of my league" (looking ogle worthy) and a willingness to step up with a superficial "hit" when it may appear her presentation/self esteem is lower (unhealthy)?
Throughout my lifetime I have often wondered the same thing. When I was a teenager I actually competed in and won 'beauty contests' two years in a row at the state level going on to compete at the national level and achieved top 10 results both times yet I very rarely ever got asked out on a date.
I attribute the lack of dates to my shyness at the time. When I competed in any type of contest whether it was at school, a beauty contest, a job interview or showing horses, no matter what I exuded confidence and most often won the event, but in my everyday life I was terribly shy around boys, so maybe it wasn't my lack of self esteem as much as my shyness - not knowing how to talk to someone on a personal basis. Thank goodness I've grown up over the years, it's been a very long process!
Oh and just to clarify and set expectations for anyone that may read my post, as a woman in her 50's I am now full-figured and don't look anything like I did as a teenager. Life is not fair that way, but I happen to really like who I have become as an individual compared to the young woman I was back then and that is much more important than physical appearance in my opinion.
That's not why she wants him. That's her rationalization for continually dating people that have severe personality defects when they sexually attract her.
Oh and just to clarify and set expectations for anyone that may read my post, as a woman in her 50's I am now full-figured and don't look anything like I did as a teenager. Life is not fair that way, but I happen to really like who I have become as an individual compared to the young woman I was back then and that is much more important than physical appearance in my opinion.
This part of your post wasn't needed :smile:. You're still a beautiful woman from what can be seen in your pics.
Is it the chicken or the egg? Perhaps it was the other way around and your shyness was caused by boys being reluctant to approach you, and so you didn't have as much experience interacting with them?
Artsy, i went to my first high school reunion (30th) and started talking to the class homecoming queen, who still looked great. We had been good social friends. She flat out asked me why I had never asked her out. I told her that she had been too hot for a doofus like me. Then she told me something I had never thought about, the curse of good looks. She said she spent many weekends alone because no one called her. And many of the guys who did call were the cocky, arrogant guys who were just ballsy. She said sometimes you attract the 'bad boy's' because the 'good guy's are too shy. I went away both flattered and sad.
Artsy, i went to my first high school reunion (30th) and started talking to the class homecoming queen, who still looked great. We had been good social friends. She flat out asked me why I had never asked her out. I told her that she had been too hot for a doofus like me. Then she told me something I had never thought about, the curse of good looks. She said she spent many weekends alone because no one called her. And many of the guys who did call were the cocky, arrogant guys who were just ballsy. She said sometimes you attract the 'bad boy's' because the 'good guy's are too shy. I went away both flattered and sad.
Actually, I was sorry for her at first, because I had never thought of the 'beautiful people' having problems. But further conversation on that subject revealed that many times the most beautiful women attract the worst kind of men from the control freak to the trophy collector, looked at more like a mannequin, than a person. And yes, I did wonder what might have happened. But as the saying goes ' you change one grain of sand, you change the ocean'. I have been a pretty lucky guy; why wish for a change that could have created worse results.
Thanks subgirrl, that's a very sweet comment! I just added that last statement in my post because if I ever met anyone from the site I wouldn't want them to be disappointed so I felt like I should try to manage expectations.