weight related male attention.

[sodominsane]

i'm never bubbly, out going and fun.
i don't do clubbing or bar hopping.

not just at the bar or at club....could be cook out, work, anywhere.........................................if its any consolation ya seem kinda fun to me

 

[LUM_1986]

when i am in the 'dangerously underweight' bmi zone i get more passes made at me than when i am in the 'healthy' bmi zone.
i've often wondered about this one...
it makes no evolutionary sense for men to prefer a weaker, less fertile female, so what is the psychology behind the guys that do?

what have you noticed from your own experiences?

Well its an odd one...

From what I have studied its more to do with the roles that the genders play in maintaining the health of the species...

In Primates the Male of the species is in the almost solely unique position of being able to influence who he mates with (in most species, choice of mate is solely female decided)

In our species Females tend to choose mates for 'Long term survival'... As in females tend to prefer males that are fit, healthy (looking) intelligent humourous, quick witted etc, all traits that allow the species to survive no matter the situation...

Where as Male Humans seem to occupy the role of 'Short Term Survival'...

The stimuli that sexually arouses the Male is less varied than that of females and it changes dramatically... Where as the stimuli of female arousal has a tendency to only fluctuate slightly...

The males arousal to a stimuli is to make sure that one trait (for example capacity for weight gain) doesn't get out of hand by preferring to mate with women who exemplify the OPPOSITE of what is common in society...

And as the waistlines of our Western Nations goes up and up (on average) Males are, in there own natural way, trying to mate with skinnier and skinnier women to try and breed into society a capacity for us to NOT all die of weight related issues before their 40's...

This situation is compounded by our highly visually stimulated society (year on year the average person sees more and more photos of people, but with a smaller body diversity)

So, its not that Males LIKE weak ill emaciated women... its just that our sexual temperament to to prefer what females find HARD to achieve over what they find easy...

Its a hard rub, and I HATE what I have just written because despite being male I am an equalist... but I know that Mother Nature isn't...


-J- x

 

[LaFemme]

I noticed the same thing dolfette - when I was 20 pounds underweight, I got hit on all the time. I never paid a cover charge at clubs, I got backstage at concerts and never had to bring money when I went out. At a healthy weight? Forget it. Might as well be invisible. Healthy and now a bit over (not gonna say how over, lol) makes no difference. I'm secure, confident, bubbly and fun. I'm almost back down to my healthy weight again, but I have no intention of going back to being a bone rack again - I was very unhealthy. Sure men "loved" me, but it just wasn't worth it.

 

[snoozan]

I'm on the bigger side. How big depends on the month or year, but 5'9" and 160 pounds is about my ideal. I have big tits so somehow it all evens out. But I'm just big. My bones are big.

Oddly, I find myself attracted to small men. For a long time I couldn't get enough of really petite Asian men.

Right now I'm dating someone who is 6' and 135 pounds soaking wet. Everything about him is petite. This particular body type is like crack to me. I can't get enough. On the other hand, he's attracted to women who are bigger than him. He likes tits and ass and leg and a lot of it. *shrug* My theory is that opposites attract? Who knows?

I do notice that I get more attention from men when I'm on the small end or on the large end of my weight scale. I've been feeling like a pig lately but I've been getting more looks lately. But what really gets the attention, regardless of weight, is cleavage and a small waist.

Also, men who tend to ogle and hit on women, I think, are a certain subset of men, and it just happens that that subset likes stick figures. For every 10 men I know, maybe 1 of them would ever consider randomly approaching a woman he's attracted to. There are so many hot women, you might as well just look at 'em, you know?

 

[AlteredEgo]

I find the same thing, Snoozan. When was 70 pounds overweight, I attracted a lot of really hot guys. It slowed down as I lost weight, and one even told me I was really pretty, but "of the hook with 20 more pounds" on me. I was really surprised. He was part of my inspiration at the gym whenever I was really tired. I would think of his big, muscular trunk, and his crazy lung capacity, and I would tell myself I wanted to be as fit as he was. I am normally 15 pounds overweight. I have really small bones, broad shoulders, but small bones. I normally get a lot of positive feedback in the form of women rolling their eyes at me, and men either looking appreciatively, or actually trying to talk to me. Anytime I have gotten between 25 and 50 pounds overweight, I have still gotten some positive feedback, but women no longer gave me dirty looks and fewer (and less attractive) men would noticeably check me out or try to talk to me.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

See? Media brainwashing! Victoria's secret doesn't even have anything that fits my ribcage.

media brainwashing? im sorry but this is bullshit

yes these types of images, supermodels etc. might be bad for women who are already insecure about themselves, but you can't blame a woman who is sexually attractive for your claimed unnattractiveness ... thats like my short, fat, bald uncle blaming the guy from twilight for women not finding him attractive .. its a little backwards

idk about the other men here, but if i see a girl who is thin (not ribcage throw up every meal thin, in shape), has large breasts, a nice butt and a pretty face, long healthy hair etc. i am going to find her attractive

in general, men find ^that^ attractive, someone else reffered to this, but that is why the big boobs on a thin body thread in the straight porn section is so popular and the various niche threads about girls who have large stomachs are not .. the media didn't do this, its called sexual attraction and you can't blame the media for what turns most men on

and another thing that annoys me is the idea that a pretty woman with a hot body and a cute face is not a "real woman" ... it seems like whenever a girl chooses to live unhealthy and eat bad food and not work out, she is applauded for being a "real woman" (are women under 150 lbs fake?) ... why is that? and why is it that skinny women who are just as unhealthy get scolded by other women?

 

[dolfette]

oh, it's cultural.

there are tribes who favour long, sagging breasts,
and countries where they force feed girls to fatten them up.
in the west we love a tan,
in the past tans were seen as ugly.
70's porn sports fro,
90's porn is bald.
compare the faces of the beauties of renaissance art to the models in the magazines of today.
look at the neolithic carvings of women which, according to some experts, were the porn of the day.

our notions of attractiveness are influenced by society.

 

[aglets]

I have little interest in skinny. My radar lights up when I see voluptuous hips, ass, and tits. This is the media trend that has farrrr out lasted the current (1960+) skinny trend for models. Look at the fertility goddess statues from 3000 years ago. Look at the busts and bustles from 200 years ago. Look at Christina Hendricks today- Woo woo. Hmmm...could the skinny model trend have something to do with the rise of Gay fashion designers who are not interested in female forms like hetero men are? Honestly the skinny ones look like young boys, don't they?

 

[ManlyBanisters]

our notions of attractiveness are influenced by society.

Influenced?

Defined.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

I have little interest in skinny. My radar lights up when I see voluptuous hips, ass, and tits. This is the media trend that has farrrr out lasted the current (1960+) skinny trend for models. Look at the fertility goddess statues from 3000 years ago. Look at the busts and bustles from 200 years ago. Look at Christina Hendricks today- Woo woo. Hmmm...could the skinny model trend have something to do with the rise of Gay fashion designers who are not interested in female forms like hetero men are? Honestly the skinny ones look like young boys, don't they?

i honestly think this could be a reason why you see so many bone skinny fashion models

look at the difference between the majority of women you see in a runway show for clothes and in porn

runway models are models to make fashion designer clothing "look best" and we all know that the fashion world is run by women and gay men, 2 groups of people who are not sexually attracted to women, what they think looks best on their clothes are bone thin size -10 girls who could get confused with a pixie stick ... the clothes are the attraction, not the girl wearing the clothes

porn stars are a more "realistic" view of what body type most men find sexually attractive, generally in shape women with curves in the right places (large breasts, large ass) ... the girl is the attraction, not the clothes she's wearing ... thats why 30 seconds in most porno's all of her clothes are off

in general what men find attractive over the years haven't changed too much ... yeah there are "fads" that change over the years (tan skin instead of pale skin) and different cultures value different things (saggy tits vs pirky tits) but in general men are wired by biology to be attracted to a woman who is somewhat in shape with busty features .. i remember BBC and i think TLC both did a documentary on human attraction and they both basically said the same thing and something about a 0.7 hip to waist ratio ... don't quote me exactly b/c im sure its on the internet somewhere

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Define 'in shape'.

Also, do you think today's culture encourages women of these shapes (see links) to feel good about themselves, or tells young men and boys that this is a generically attractive body type?

http://www.worldart.com.au/images/renaissance-nudes1.jpg
http://wordsandpicturesonline.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/titian1.jpg
http://d3xx.xhedu.sh.cn/cms/data/html/doc/2006-07/17/25397/attach/2006-07-17_12-34-43_0.jpg
http://img.artknowledgenews.com/files/BellinLadyWithAMirrori.jpg

I think the people answering the OP with the 'vulnerability' line are probably on the right track for the majority of men hitting on unhealthy skinny dolf.

 

[dolfette]

I think the people answering the OP with the 'vulnerability' line are probably on the right track for the majority of men hitting on unhealthy skinny dolf.

i've always thoughts so.
i get more ogles as healthy, but more hits as frail.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

Define 'in shape'.

Also, do you think today's culture encourages women of these shapes (see links) to feel good about themselves, or tells young men and boys that this is a generically attractive body type?

http://www.worldart.com.au/images/renaissance-nudes1.jpg
http://wordsandpicturesonline.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/titian1.jpg
http://d3xx.xhedu.sh.cn/cms/data/html/doc/2006-07/17/25397/attach/2006-07-17_12-34-43_0.jpg
http://img.artknowledgenews.com/files/BellinLadyWithAMirrori.jpg

I think the people answering the OP with the 'vulnerability' line are probably on the right track for the majority of men hitting on unhealthy skinny dolf.

in shape = healthy, somewhat athletic build (personal opinion)

and idk if culture finds those women attractive ... why is it culture's job to make women who look like that attractive? do i find them attractive? ehh, not really, just not the body type i am into ... did the particular artist who made each picture find them attractive? most likely

you have to look at the times though ... im pretty sure during those days women dressed A LOT more conservatively wearing large, bulky dresses so you could not see how a women was shaped ... and im pretty sure corset's were as common back then as a bra is now

 

[snoozan]

Bjen, you're totally missing the point. Those WERE the standards of beauty at that time. Corsets have nothing to do with it. That's what people looked and then emulated when they thought of beautiful women.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

Bjen, you're totally missing the point. Those WERE the standards of beauty at that time. Corsets have nothing to do with it. That's what people looked and then emulated when they thought of beautiful women.

interesting to look at other culture's and time periods definition on what is beautiful

 

[rawbone8]

I wonder if there is a reluctance for some males to make an approach when "she's out of my league" (looking ogle worthy) and a willingness to step up with a superficial "hit" when it may appear her presentation/self esteem is lower (unhealthy)?

 

[rob_just_rob]

I wonder if there is a reluctance for some males to make an approach when "she's out of my league" (looking ogle worthy) and a willingness to step up with a superficial "hit" when it may appear her presentation/self esteem is lower (unhealthy)?

I think that is absolutely the case.

 

[mhc26]

I like girls with curves and a good figure and a nice shape.

I don't like super model thin.

I get horny by looking at paintings in museums from the 15th, 16th, 17th century of curvy women resting on a nice day couch.

Skinny girls can be hot. Bigger girls can be hot.

I think the whole thing with guys being attracted to very skinny, quite short, nearly pre-pubescent thing is weird. I'd chalk it up to being insecure with themselves, and also their penis size. If the girl you dig is this size/type cool. BUT, if you only like girls who are 5' and 90lbs. that is kind of weird.

As far as BMI, just like a lot of other things, it's an indicator, not a strict scale.

However, I will say many, many Americans these days are just plain fat. It's annoying when anyone tries to chalk this up to being "big boned." Okay, fine, you'll never be rail thin, but you've still got a fat gut and could lose 20 pounds just by not eating such a big dinner. People use this as a cop out.

Fat is fat. And most people are fat for reasons within their control. Just like I believe most drunks are drunks for reasons within their control. I'm no expert, but I've taken plenty of college courses in health and psychology. I've also spent most of my life as an athlete. If you eat less and exercise you WILL get skinnier. Bad genes is overused as an excuse these days.

Last week I was in the car and an entire show was dedicated to plus size woman and if "fat is the norm" today. Sure as hell is, but stop trying to make yourself feel better and eat right.

I will say however that obesity is linked HEAVILY to socioeconomic status, education level, income, knowledge, etc. But then again, rich & poor are really fat in America today. So go figure...

 

[B_Bjen2848]

I like girls with curves and a good figure and a nice shape.

I don't like super model thin.

I get horny by looking at paintings in museums from the 15th, 16th, 17th century of curvy women resting on a nice day couch.

Skinny girls can be hot. Bigger girls can be hot.

I think the whole thing with guys being attracted to very skinny, quite short, nearly pre-pubescent thing is weird. I'd chalk it up to being insecure with themselves, and also their penis size. If the girl you dig is this size/type cool. BUT, if you only like girls who are 5' and 90lbs. that is kind of weird.

As far as BMI, just like a lot of other things, it's an indicator, not a strict scale.

However, I will say many, many Americans these days are just plain fat. It's annoying when anyone tries to chalk this up to being "big boned." Okay, fine, you'll never be rail thin, but you've still got a fat gut and could lose 20 pounds just by not eating such a big dinner. People use this as a cop out.

Fat is fat. And most people are fat for reasons within their control. Just like I believe most drunks are drunks for reasons within their control. I'm no expert, but I've taken plenty of college courses in health and psychology. I've also spent most of my life as an athlete. If you eat less and exercise you WILL get skinnier. Bad genes is overused as an excuse these days.

Last week I was in the car and an entire show was dedicated to plus size woman and if "fat is the norm" today. Sure as hell is, but stop trying to make yourself feel better and eat right.

I will say however that obesity is linked HEAVILY to socioeconomic status, education level, income, knowledge, etc. But then again, rich & poor are really fat in America today. So go figure...

the girl in your avatar gave me a semi ...

 

[dolfette]

I wonder if there is a reluctance for some males to make an approach when "she's out of my league" (looking ogle worthy) and a willingness to step up with a superficial "hit" when it may appear her presentation/self esteem is lower (unhealthy)?

i'm a snooty, snotty, up myself, arrogant, superior bitch at any weight.