Weird feelings and situation

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Roderick Beresford Stiffington IV, Oct 28, 2007.

  1. D_Roderick Beresford Stiffington IV

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    I was in a Yahoo chat room about a month ago and ended up talking to this guy who lived extremely close to me, literally 5 minute walking distance. We were talking for awhile online and he was going to 7-11 to buy cigarettes with his friend who has been staying with him for close to a year now because of family issues. So its like 2:30am, and he asked me if I wanted to come hang out. Ordinarily I'd say no, but we had such a fun convo and knew a lot of the strange things that go on around here so I was like why not, and went.

    We've been hanging out every day more or less and have become pretty good friends very quickly, all three of us. So the guy I was actually talking to online was a plump greek guy, very well educated and a fun person to be around. His friend is 6'5, half japanese and half german and extremely attractive. I've known I was bisexual for a long time, and have never really had emotional feelings for guys, it was always more physical. For some strange reason I feel like I have very strong feelings for this guy, who is straight and for obvious reasons does very well with women. He's tall, handsome, extremely smart, very funny, he's perfect.

    I've always been able to make sure I don't become interested in a friend, because it can be awkward obviously. In this case its not even sexual, I find him attractive obviously but its almost like love, not even lust. The friend he has been staying with confided to me that he's getting pretty sick of him and wants him to go home. He has lived there for close to a year, doesn't work or pay any bills, sleeps most of the day and spends his awake hours at night on his laptop or on his cell talking to people. They've had arguments in the past where it seemed like he was going to pack up and go home, but ultimately they reconciled and yeah.

    So I know eventually he'll go home, and it might be soon according to the guy whose house it is. But anyway I just feel depressed lately, I've only known him a month but I know I'm going to miss him. When he moves back home he'll be back in Manhattan, and I'll hardly see him. Also all of this is pointless since he's straight, thats why I hate feeling like I am...cause its over someone who will never be in my life anyway the way I wish he could be.

    The last reason this is kind of weird, the plump Greek guy is extremely homophobic. So much so that I think if he knew I was bi he wouldn't talk to me anymore. I know a lot of people would feel that "If he can't accept you for who you are, hes not worth having as a friend" But him and I have gotten along so well and it really could be a great friendship. I think he just needs time to get to know me, and one day I could tell him and it won't bother him. But I told the guy living with him that I was bi, and he's understanding and cool with it.

    Gah I don't know, its driving me crazy and making me sad to think of him as not around anymore. I've never felt this way before about any guy at all, especially this straight guy. No wonder he gets a ton of women, he may be doing nothing with his life right now but he is just so charming that he and his personality are appealing to anyone who meets him. Orbitz is going nutz!
     
  2. UtahCock

    UtahCock New Member

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    There. Did it feel better to get that all out?

    It sounds like you know what can and cannot be in both of these relationships. It's time to truly accept and find a more worthy recipient of your romantic ardor.

    It may help if you actually let yourself play out in your mind (realistically) how this relationship with this tall stud would go. HOw long would it take for YOU to lose your patience with his bumming around and aimlessness? What things would end up causing this relationship to not work out? Rememebring these things when you feel a twang in your heart might help you put things in perspective rather than wistfully think of what "might have been."
     
  3. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Excellent advice! Too, check out this thread.

     
  4. RocketMan

    RocketMan Member

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    Yes, "UtahCock" said it well. It's so difficult to be objective when you're in the eye of an emotional storm. However, it's important, especially in such a circumstance where you already see the odds are against a successful pursuit, to be as realistic as you can. If nothing else, this is a great experience for you to grow from. You're finding out about your innocent ability toward natural captivation. Affairs of the heart remind us how alive and truly blessed we are to feel love. It's healthy to recognize it. Some never do. Celebrate that. But, be mindful to protect your well being in a situation that already causes you some pain because you cannot be true to yourself without feeling at great risk.

    It's probably a good thing he is going away. You need distraction. In time someone more suitable to you will come along just as this guy did. So cliche, but absolutely true ... time heals all wounds. Overall, it's good you are talking, or at least writing about it to get it out. You're not crazy, just enamored. Again, an emotion one is fortunate to experience in his lifetime.

    As for the other guy you want to remain friends with...this could be a growing experience for him, too. Befriending you and then learning about your sexual preference, only to reevaluate his own values. It could be a long road for the two of you. But sticking by a friend through thick and thin is what true friendship is about. And one must be a friend to have one.

    Peace.
     
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