Weird vibes from my gynecologist

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Honey_Grrrl83, May 17, 2006.

  1. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    Okay,I went to my gynecoligist last month for a pelvic exam and pap test,everything was going great until he said.
    "Wow,it looks like you finally broke your cherry".
    I got really,really creeped out by his remark,I think he may have stepped out of line by saying that,it seemed unprofessional to me and just generally abnormal,just before I left he also gave me a tight hug out of the view of the nurses and other doctors and told me everything looked beautiful to him,I was just wondering should I report this?:confused: Have any of you other women experienced a flirty gynecoligist?:confused:
     
  2. Gisella

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    :33: He said just like that...broke the cherry? No appropriate behaviour in my opinion too.

    :rolleyes:

    Well HornyGirl i was choose females as my gynecologist...i do feel much more confortable with a ladie doctor for sure.
     
  3. amethyst

    amethyst New Member

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    Since what he did was inconsiderate, but not illegal, i don't think that there is anything to report, officially. However, I would definitely give him feedback about how his actions made you feel. He needs to know for a couple reasons: he needs to know how to treat you, specifically, so that you are comfortable, he needs this feedback so that he is more cautious about how he treats other women, and it will give you a chance to see his reaction so you can determine if you need to change gynecologists.

    Frankly, I think what he said is inappropriate in any situation, but he may have comfortable with you, for some reason, and thought you might like humor and flirting. If this is what he thought, he has a chance to apologize to you and learn that he should not do that with anyone, regardless of the situation.

    If it persists, or you do not like his response when you give him feedback, I would write a letter to him and the office manager/owner of the clinic, and find someone else!!

    I am sorry you had to experience that!
     
  4. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    Creepy...A friend of mine had damaged her back in a martial arts class and went to the doctor...to fix something in her back, he put his fingers in her vagina...that was fucked up...but I think she said it did fix it but idk it was a while ago.
     
  5. palicao

    palicao Member

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    rofl
    he really says that? *broke your cherry?*

    things here are very simple

    1. he's cute or handsome. i will give him a try

    2. he's ugly as hell. i will change gynecologist

    of course this only if i could have a gynecologist.

    >.>
     
  6. Pirate Wench

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    I agree with Amethyst.

    Let him know you were not comfortable with his comment and his hug and tell him that there are women who, upon hearing that, would have automatically filed a complaint.

    But tell him with no one around.
    In case it was unintentional bad judgement on his part, do not embarrass him in front of others.

    But if he continues to creep you out after that......change Dr.s and file a report/complaint.

    Have to admit that if it was me and the Dr. was good looking......it wouldn't have bothered me.....I'd have just been embarrassed.

    I didn't have sex till right after I turned 18.


    "Going to a male gynecologist is like taking your car to a mechanic who's never owned one."
    unknown
     
  7. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    Well,yes,to answer everyone's questions he is a nice looking guy,he's younger,in his mid thirties:redface: I'm considering making the switch to a female doctor,I talked to my fiance's younger sister,who is also a patient of his,she said he never did anything innapropiate with her:confused: She also agreed that the cherry remark was tasteless but not illegal
     
  8. Mumzi

    Mumzi New Member

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    There is no way I would go back there. He had no right to speak like that.
    Some women would have been mortified. Really, your sex life is non of his business unless you bring it up, or there is a problem.

    That being said, I would never recommend a women see male GYNE; not that men are not just as capable,they ARE, but no man knows what it feels like to be female and therefor cannot relate to our body, our pain, our feelings.

    THAT being said, there are exceptions, such as a family member. My gynecologist/ obstetrician is my brother in law.
    I don't think I would have chosen him at the time, but the circumstances were
    different. My husband and I knew I was pregnant, I'd had a pregnancy test at the hospital where I worked.
    One morning I woke up with cramps and in a situation like that where you fear loosing the child you do want a family member and my husbands brother
    loves our girls like his own.
    It turned out I had a virus, and all was well.

    Nor do I feel women can relate or understand what the male body feels like.
    Men in my opinion would be better off seeing a male urologist.
    There are exceptions there too, you just use common sense.

    Honey_Grrrl83, maybe what he did was not illegal, but it was in poor taste and it was invasive. You're just beginning a new life with your soon to be hubby, and possibly children in the future; you don't need anyone in your life that could complicate your life.

    Issues could be anything from minor flirting to this guy just being unprofessional; and if you were pregnant you would want someone who is 100% into their profession and has
    nothing else on their mind. You never know, but some pregnancies can be complicated.

    The decision of course is up to you. But I believe we as women have these vibes.... that female intuition for a reason. Follow your instincts.
     
  9. rob_just_rob

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    Tasteless, yes. Not illegal, also yes. But probably in violation of the local medical association's code of conduct. You probably couldn't have him arrested, but you could definitely file a complaint, which could lead to professional discipline.
     
  10. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    There are a lot of things that would cement my changing gynecologists and reporting his ass to the AMA ASAP there, Honey Grrrrl.

    In particular, the remark about as he put it "finally broke your cherry." Totally unacceptable. If any remark, he should whether or not you've had sex recently in not so crude remarks.

    Also, the unwarranted hug, irregardless if anyone didn't see it, you still didn't ask for it.

    And to close it up, the closing remark about everything looking beautiful to him was uncalled.

    This guy's supposed to be a professional. comments & actions like the ones you described from him were not.

    Do it. Switch over to another OB GYN who makes you feel better.
     
  11. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    He definately needs to be reported,the creepiest thing about the enitire encounter was the hug and the "everything looks beautiful" remark,weird:confused:
     
  12. yongdo

    yongdo New Member

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    Right.

    It would be as if he called your vagina your "sweet pussy".

    "Pussy" is not the medical terminology for vagina and neither is "cherry" for hymen.

    Was there a nurse in the office who heard this remark????
     
  13. SXIGRL

    SXIGRL New Member

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    YIKES. :eek: That's all I can say. (And if you knew me, you'd know there is NOT much that shuts me up!)
     
  14. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    Thanks for all of the wonderful advice on this weird,disturbing and embarressing situation:smile: I told my fiance about what the creepy bastard did and he wants to strangle him:tongue: I am going to get a female gynecoligist because I think(but I'm not 100% positive)that I may be pregnant now,so I can't let him stress me out at this critical point
     
  15. AMikkell

    AMikkell New Member

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    That's an interesting thought pattern. Do you only go to doctors who have had the problems your having now? I can say with reasonable certainty that I know more about the internal organs of females than many females. Your saying that having something, or going through something tells you more about it than studying it. I can't agree with you there.

    I agree with Chuck that it's more his words that were tasteless than commenting on it all together. The hug is way overboard and very unproffesional. I agree with everyone that you should get a new gynocologist, but don't let this guy scare you off other male gynocologists.
     
  16. Ethyl

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    What an unprofessional idiot. He won't be practicing for long. I'll wager other women have already complained. I'd find someone else, too.
     
  17. mainer1

    mainer1 New Member

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    Honey...either you are a total fake woman out here, or you have the most fucked up doc.....if you are for real, you've been insulted and assaulted. Never see him again. But in this day and age, I think women are too in tune with assholes like that doc. That leads me to think you are some str8 male asshole jacking off and hoping some real woman is there...poor guy!
     
  18. wonderland

    wonderland Member

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    Wasn't there a nurse in the exam room at the time he made that comment?
    You seem to have three choices here. One confront him yourself and tell him you thought he was creepy and out of line and see what he says. Two ignore it and just get a new doctor. Or three file a formal complaint with the state board of regulations. I can tell you though nothing may come of filing the complaint but it would probably make you feel better. Probably should get a new doc no matter if you do anything else.
     
  19. strawberrylime9

    strawberrylime9 New Member

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    Yeah that would have freaked me out just a lil bit.
    I have a female gynecologist.. and it's the same one my mom has had for ages.. so i know her pretty well and I've gone to that same office since i was a little kid. Except now I'm getting examined and mom can stay in the lobby and play with toys.
     
  20. Pirate Wench

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    He's in his early or middle 30's ?

    Then he hasn't been practicing very long.
    Takes a long time to go thru all that schooling.

    I'm guessing that, for some reason, he felt at ease enough with you to say something and didn't realize that it was very inappropriate.

    If you still sort of like him.....tell him what you thought of his comment and if he does something like that again, mchange Dr.s and file a complaint/report.
     
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