weirdest relationship styles...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, Jul 4, 2010.

  1. dolfette

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    i found this profile on a pervert dating site and it made me wonder...

    we all define a perfect relationship differently. there's often a fairly large gap between what we really want and what we'll take. some people, like this guy, don't want to compromise on even the weirdest whim.

    so tell me about the dream, the reality and the space between.
    what odd relationships setups have you lived within?

    and...wtf is making this guy tick?? :eek:
     
  2. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    Hmmm...he must be from Oklahoma...
     
  3. Endued

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  4. tamuning

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    Normally I'm a "whatever floats your boat" kinda guy, but that is just sick imho.
     
  5. dolfette

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    awww! bless your naive little heart!
    ALT.com - Adult Personals for the Alternative, BDSM Lifestyle. Find Kinky Online Sex, Bondage, Erotica and Amateur Member Videos for one.
    ...where else would a farmer meet a hucow?
    i'm there partly because i'm a pervert,
    but mostly because it's entertaining and educational in a bad way.
     
  6. dolfette

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    i think i'm with you on that one,

    not quite right in the head.
     
    #6 dolfette, Jul 4, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2010
  7. dolfette

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    my relationship confessional...
    in my biggest relationship to date...

    he earned the money, he paid the bills, i was given pocket money.
    my list of daily chores was written on a white board in the kitchen every morning.
    for months after we broke up i looked at the white board every morning and struggled to organise my own life.
    dinner was on the table when he came home. his friends exchanged raised brows when i prepared food/drinks on demand.
    i never saw a bill, a bank statement, never had access to any accounts, never signed any contract, made any deal, decided anything.
    i didn't go out on my own, and if he had to leave me when we went out together he'd get his friend/s to ''keep an eye'' on me until he got back.
    i was expected to stop reading when he was in the room, i went to bed when i was told.
    he'd pin me down & make it hurt & spank my pussy...

    and the thing that bothers me now is that i was perfectly happy that way.
    those were the parts of the relationship that worked.

    yeah...the gap between...
     
  8. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    How old were you at this point? Was this your first "serious" relationship? And what was it about him that made you so willing to submit like that?
     
  9. dolfette

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    no, i was in my early 20s and already had a toddler when we met. it started out normal-ish, but that was the groove it just naturally slipped into...much to the horror of my family.

    why? it was safe, comforting, stable.
     
  10. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    How did things end?
     
  11. big_tits4big_dicks

    big_tits4big_dicks New Member

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    When we feel secure we can make a happy little rut. At least you got away from it.
     
  12. dolfette

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    he was grumpy, and i had some issues i needed to be alone to deal with, so i ended it.
    we get on great as far as exes ever do though.
    i'm not sure it was as unhealthy as your post implies though...
    i never felt like i was escaping. it appealed to my kinky side.
     
  13. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    Was he a finance shark type? :wink:
     
  14. dolfette

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    haha!

    no, an engineer type.
     
  15. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    Ok, well...I was close on the math part, you gotta give me that at least...
     
  16. dolfette

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    nope :tongue:
     
  17. Bbucko

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    Hmmmmmmmmm...

    In the SMBD community, there are many variations of intensity in the structure of relationships and how far things are taken out of the bedroom/playroom/dungeon.

    The really hot thing right now is an open Pansexuality, though it's really controversial, especially among gay men. As I've witnessed it (though never gone so far as to actually experience it), Doms and Dommes take Subs of either sex for play, which can range from bondage to floggings to much more brutal stuff.

    If these encounters lead to a real relationship, the nomenclature changes somewhat: the Dom becomes a Sir and the Sub becomes a Boy; likewise, the Domme becomes a Mistress and the female Sub becomes a Boi. These relationships are by no means monogamous necessarily, at least not as the word is understood here. I know a man, for instance, with both a Sir and a Boy, and have met a Mistress with at least five Boys/Bois.

    Mistresses, in particular, are known for the especially brutal handling of their Boys/Bois. Even some pretty hard-core Doms in my acquaintance get squeamish when discussing the level of brutality, both physically and emotionally that Mistresses reach.

    Gay men in the SMBD community fall into two general camps, though there's much gray area in between: Old Guard and New Guard. Old Guard, as might sound obvious, are strict traditionalists with firm rules governing all aspects of play and socializing on the part of both Dom and Sub. These are rules that were formulated in NYC and (especially) San Francisco in the 1960s and were codified in the 1970s. As most of the genuine actual members of the Old Guard have died of old age or AIDS (which truly wiped out an entire generation in certain places), the term Old Guard is really more about traditions than the actual age of its adherents, and the strictest members of the Old Guard tend to be among the youngest: there's a strong whiff of nostalgia about it all.

    New Guard is really the rebellious response to the rigidity and inflexibility of Old Guard traditions and began with my generation and those slightly younger (SMBD tends to be an over-30 thing). It's more likely to be egalitarian and much more ad hoc, picking and choosing rules, rituals and even dress code as we see fit. As such, the Old Guard tends to see the New Guard as anarchistic, while the New Guard tends to see the Old Guard as trite, obvious and cliched. This obviously creates some tension that perks up now and then.

    True Old Guard types, for instance, would never use the Sir/Boy verbiage: for them it's Master/Slave. But here their nostalgia runs into difficulty, because Master/Slave in contemporary usage is a much more extreme type of Sir/Boy arrangement: in real Master/Slave relationships, the Slave never even leaves the house unless given strict permission by his Master. I have often seen Slaves used as footstools, and are more likely than not to wear demeaning gear like wire cages holding their mouths open or butt-plugs with long horse tails on the ends.

    So in the end, unless they choose to carry such behavior through in public (at least in certain bars, though I've seen a man with a collar and leash in a supermarket, too), they use the more contemporary Sir/Boy.

    Here in South Florida there are probably over 1000 people, male and female, gay, bi or pansexual who live some variation of this lifestyle every day, 24/7.
     
  18. HiddenLacey

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    I am so glad to know someone with your personality was in a relationship like you described.:wink:

    And for the original posting, ALT is what taught me about ponygirls. I'm beginning to think nothing is taboo... I just don't know what it all is yet.:eek:
     
  19. helgaleena

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    Rammstein taught me a lot. 'Ich tu Dir Weh'.... and I ran into quite a bit of it especially in France. It did not appeal to me, and luckily my partner of the time felt similar.

    We were in a rut and it took nearly a decade to get out of it, but I finally realized that if I had my own means of support I was allowed to do things that actually made me happy. So much in life depends on what we can afford, in the way of freedom. I still do not understand playing at lack of freedom, as it is not an option for so many.

    In the TV series BlackAdder, I too often identified with Baldrick :sad:
     
  20. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    Why is that?
     
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