Welcome To Wal-Mart

[jakeatolla]

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. She's dressed in dirty jeans, a greasy T-shirt with holes in it and wearing worn out flip-flops exposing her cracked heels and filthy toenails. When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with more than a few missing. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?" The woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't!The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the Hell would you think they're twins? Do you really think they look alike?" "No," replies the greeter, "But I just find it hard to believe that someone had sex with you twice."

 

[B_Rivas_Boricua4Ever]

LOL! Good one!

 

[earllogjam]

You know when you are in a Walmart when:

You're the thinest one in the store and you are 30lbs overweight.

You mistake TV advertising for muzak.

It takes you 5 minutes to go down the junk food and soda pop isle.

All the people eating at the in-store McDonalds seem like they are developmentally disabled.

No one is smiling except the greeter. And the greeter doesn't even have teeth.

Where the "help" is dumber than you are. Where are the chips? Uh- isle 5 or 6 - uh no - check over there wait a minute I'll call the manager.

You can get a cold Coke, Goobers, Ginzu knives, nail clippers, a Star Magazine, and see more TV ads (all the essentials) just by going thru a checkout lane.

Where there is nothing you find valuable enough to shoplift.

You keep on coming back because you are a whore to cheap prices.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Thats hillarious!

 

[darkone]

hehe good one Jake

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Oho, snap, that was good there, jake!!:biggrin1: :tongue:

 

[Pecker]

Guess who?

 

[Big Dreamer]

I heard Dennis Miller mention the other week that the pressure mat that trips the automatic doors at the Walmart entrance is set to a 300lb. minimum.