Well it's finally happened, I failed to launch.

size_is_relative

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So I'm 25 and prior to this it's never happened to me.

This Friday my girlfriend came to spend the weekend with me. We went out to see a jazz show and came back to my place. We were messing about and finally it was time for the big show...and she was all "ow ow ow, stop, no it really hurts". Now in fairness this is a girl who likes it rough, and last weekend took quite a pounding, and we apparently we torn or bruised...something last week, so Friday she wasn't up to it (did result in a weekend of superb head).

Problem is, after that for the whole weekend, if it looked like we were going to have sex...I couldn't get it up. I mean it would get up, but then when the moment came, I'd get all freaked out about the prospect of hurting her...and bam...like a understuffed sausage.

I feel like a fucking one time character in a Sex and the City.
 

laughatbig

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wow you had no problem getting up for the awsome pictures. maybe you are just more attracted to your camera, ha. Well I am sorry she was not that in to you, cuz i sure am
 

D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

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yeah, let me echo ZOS23xy ... you answered your own question when you talked about getting freaked out about hurting her. It's hard to stay hard when you're worried more about her than feeling how hot the situation is!

Not that I'm blaming you; any decent guy would feel the same way. Your cock is hooked up to your brain, and your brain is hooked up to your ethics and sensitivity towards others. I think what this proves is you're not a thoughtless sociopath!

If you want to get past it with this girl, you might want to think about having a talk with her about it. "Look, my cock is there to show us a good time, and if I'm worried he's gonna hurt you, he's not gonna stay hard."
 

Corius

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Talk is usually helpful. But, if the relationship is of long standing I would think that such matters get worked our rather quietly. No decent guy wants to hurt a partner and no partner (speaking for myself only) wants pain or other performance problems. It sounds corny but when two persons are bonded in love I have found that love finds a way and a partner's enjoyment becomes a big part of one's own enjoyment. This may explain my lifelong aversion to the very idea of casual sex.
 

CALAMBO

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HEY SIZE...congts for being a gentleman...caring for another and the feelings i think you are developing show great strides in becoming a good lover/man/adult and most of all a gentleman......slow and steady wins the race....WAY TO GO....
 

psiedtsi

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It sounds corny but when two persons are bonded in love I have found that love finds a way and a partner's enjoyment becomes a big part of one's own enjoyment. This may explain my lifelong aversion to the very idea of casual sex.


Couldn't agree more. I also feel that being able to talk about sex freely will tremendously increase pleasure during sex for both parties.
 

HazelGod

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yeah, let me echo ZOS23xy ... you answered your own question when you talked about getting freaked out about hurting her. It's hard to stay hard when you're worried more about her than feeling how hot the situation is!

Bingo.

There's a common misconception that men's erections are simple, invariant reactions to physical stimuli. As you've discovered, it just ain't so.

For most of us, our brain is involved to some degree or another...likely moreso than you imagine. You can have all the physical sensation in the world, but if your mind is harboring some anxiety (such as causing your partner undesired pain) then your dick isn't likely to respond.
 

size_is_relative

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Haha...I'm not particularly worried abbout it, and I don't think that it's going to be a problem in the future. I Just figured I'd relate the story. Thanks for the kind words...well except for the first responder...what was that all about?
 
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this is what plagued me with my first relationship, holllly hell

I thought about everything that could go wrong, and bam, instant softie
 

Wish-4-8

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Wow, I have never not gotten it up. My issue with performance anxiety is that often times I cant finish. I got so worried about premature ejaculation (which has never happened) or pleasing that then I dont shoot. I know, thats for another thread. In one case I couldnt shoot because I know I was hurting the girl. She didnt want to say anything but I could tell. Why am I so damn sensative to a girls' feelings?