Well...my gf found my profile...we broke up.

[B_subgirrl]

I totally agree what she did was wrong however I have to say that if I found my partner had a secret account on any sexually based website I would be hurt too.

I value honesty above anything else in a relationship. I try really hard not to keep secrets and my life is a completely open book (once I get to know you). I have had partners who don't need the same level of openness and it becomes obvious that we're not suited to one another. To me, honesty is intimacy. It has much less to do with anything sexual for me and a lot to do with the lack of respect that being dishonest shows.

I totally agree with this. If a partner was on a site like LPSG and felt the need to hide it, I would be wondering what it was they were hiding.

Whilst she should never have done what she did, IMO the OP was in the wrong as much as his gf was.

 

[lafever]

She was looking for a reason to break up and she found one, you're free, embrace it while you can.

 

[deleted300444]

She was looking for a reason to break up and she found one, you're free, embrace it while you can.

That glas is half full. Not to mentkon, he can play in the sandbox more with all of his LPSG buds.

 

[dolfette]

I totally agree with this. If a partner was on a site like LPSG and felt the need to hide it, I would be wondering what it was they were hiding.

Whilst she should never have done what she did, IMO the OP was in the wrong as much as his gf was.

does it really occur to most people to disclose every site they join, every piece of porn they view, ever internet pal they make?? seriously???
it would never even cross my mind to sit them down and go through a list of internet sites i use. is not thinking it's an important thing to bring up make me a sneaky person who is keeping secrets?

and you think that this is on a par with feeling a sense of entitlement to rummage through a partners stuff, looking for sins, every time they leave the room?

some of you people are frickin' weird!

 

[aninnymouse]

I totally agree with this. If a partner was on a site like LPSG and felt the need to hide it, I would be wondering what it was they were hiding.

Whilst she should never have done what she did, IMO the OP was in the wrong as much as his gf was.

???

It doesn't sound like the OP was even keeping a secret. He just hadn't told her. Given her proclivity for snooping through his stuff without reason, I can't blame him. I know, personally, I don't talk about every site I join or am a part of. I don't "Keep secrets" but...no, I don't blab about everything I see on the 'net, and every site I peruse.

I guess some people have different ideas about what intimacy means.

Still, it definitely sounds like the OP and his GF were different people, with different ideas about life, sex and intimacy. It seems better that they did break up. I think the OP was just a bit surprised at how vehement her reaction was....

 

[dolfette]

reasons to stay single: i couldn't bear living with the thought police. unless someone is cheating or doing something that impacts on the relationship then they have the right to privacy. especially since they're only dating.


do we confess every book we read? come clean over every checkout guy/girl we flirted with at the store? confess every time a conversation with our friends has a sexual content? keep a porn & masturbation diary for the other half to check up on?

where do we draw the line?
mental.

 

[BBBunny]

It's important to remember that we all bring different experience to the table as well. When I say 'my boyfriend' I mean a man who's been a great friend of mine for 10 years, who I've been sleeping with for 7 years, who I've dated for 5 years, and who I'd lived with for 2 years.

Sometimes I forget what the early stages of boyfriend/girlfriend/sleepover party/phone by the bed thing is like. If he were on a sexually based website, I would like to know, but then again, in what is now a long distance relationship our sex life has revolved around sending each other a lot of links to dirty pictures/stories/etc.

 

[BBBunny]

do we confess every book we read? come clean over every checkout guy/girl we flirted with at the store? confess every time a conversation with our friends has a sexual content? keep a porn & masturbation diary for the other half to check up on?

I totally love sharing stories about flirting and I do tell all about what kind of porn I've been watching with details about how I've been masturbating.

Like I said, people desire different amounts of communication.

 

[dolfette]

I totally love sharing stories about flirting and I do tell all about what kind of porn I've been watching with details about how I've been masturbating.

Like I said, people desire different amounts of communication.

there's a difference between sharing a story you think he might enjoy and feeling obligated to disclose every incident.

 

[BBBunny]

No one said the OP has to share everything. But if you're on a sexually charged website it doesn't reflect well that you've kept it hidden. Again, this depends on how deep into the relationship they are.

there's a difference between sharing a story you think he might enjoy and feeling obligated to disclose every incident.

 

[dolfette]

no offence but i find this need to know & disclose everything to be very strange. it doesn't seem healthy to me not to respect that people have the right to privacy.

 

[BBBunny]

And it seems strange to me that you wouldn't distinguish between privacy and secrecy.

 

[dolfette]

1984

 

[BBBunny]

Like almost every other post I've made in this thread, I will say again, everyone has different standards of what they will accept as honest and open communication. I prefer more communication because that is simply what feels intimate to me.

 

[BBBunny]

I'm not sure if you're really grasping the premise of open communication.

I'm not discussing keeping detailed records on your significant other's every move but it stands that no one is going to read your mind. If I want something, feel something, have an interest in something, it is my responsibility to express that something. I would hope that my lover feels that same responsibility so that we can enjoy the most satisfactory expression of sex that we are capable of.

 

[dolfette]

i grasp it. i just think your version of it is bollocks.

 

[BBBunny]

And as I already stated--to each their own. I'm happier being an open book, some people aren't.

 

[dolfette]

i sense you're getting a little bit frowny...

 

[BBBunny]

I was actually just telling the boy I was amused by the back and forth because it's inadvertently increasing my post count! :biggrin1:

 

[dolfette]

I was actually just telling the boy I was amused by the back and forth because it's inadvertently increasing my post count! :biggrin1:

i just noticed your post count. new bug!