Well This Sucks

HungBtmVegas

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So I've been casually seeing this guy that I met through a mutual work friend and it's starting to get serious. We're already exclusive (he's a divorcee and I'm the only person he's had sex with since he was married), but the convo arose about actually being in a relationship and I WAS absolutely down for it. I've always been attracted to older white guys (which he is) with huge cocks (which he VERY MUCH so has), so with the racial dynamic, I prefer a Liberal leaning guy to a Conservative one bc they're a bit more aligned with me on the subject, although I have dated a couple of Republicans before, I just typically try to keep politics out of the discussion, as do they.

Anyways, I'm at his house and of course we all know what's going on in the country right now and an update came on the internet radio station we were listening to music on and he says "I'm so glad you're not out there trying to tear the country apart too." YEAH, I FLIPPED ON HIM AND LEFT.

Is anyone currently in a situation where you're in an interracial relationship and the current civil rights movement going on has revealed you don't ACTUALLY know the true colors of your partner? We don't need to have a debate on the actual movement right now, it just sucks knowing someone can like you enough to stick their cock in you every day and night, but not even attempt to have any empathy for a problem you've faced your whole life, despite people taking your clean cut appearance, career, and demeanor as "civilized".
 

sd425

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Good on you for leaving.

I knew a Vietnamese woman in her 60s who broke up with her white boyfriend after he referred to Filipinos with a racist slur. He couldn't understand why she'd be upset since he was only talking about Filipinos.
 
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halcyondays

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Not currently no and I'm white but it reminds me of a white woman I was seeing in 1990 when the First Gulf War happened. She got angry that I was against the war and wouldn't wear one of those stupid yellow ribbons to "support the troops," We had a big fight over it. She was progressive on women's and environmental issues but little else.

During the fight her racism reared its ugly head when she said the Civil War wasn't fought over slavery but "states rights." She could not answer the question "which states right?" The answer of course is the right to own slaves. Clueless. As the fight escalated she blamed blacks for all the racial problems in America and for not "pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps." Then she blamed the gay community for HIV/AIDS "which they deserve." I walked out never to return.

She identified as independent but even then I knew 2/3rds of independents were conservatives who vote Republican or worse. I should have known she was in their camp. She wore her stupid yellow ribbon. I marched in anti-war protests.

I'm glad you left him. Like many whites he is clueless to the point of callousness.
 

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In todays world politics is important to many people and you should get politics straight between the two of you first or things will never work. Over the next few month politics is going to move further and further apart. I see people getting themselves stocked up for complete civil unrest in the USA. Look at the Gun sales in gun stores, also the ammunition sales. I read an article today where gun sales in California alone was up 300% and California wants to defund many of their police departments and have been freeing many prisoners from their prisons and they don't arrest anyone who steels less than $950 in value. It is like no one has any real value in life. No matter what your side of the politic spectrum is here your mate better be on the same side of the spectrum.
 
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hungdarklatin

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I am in a relationship with a white man, and we have many of the same values. Although I have not really shown interest in politics until the last few years, it so happens that I see why he has always held the political views he has had throughout the years. My present views on politics are on the same page with his. So all that to say that, yes, it would be wise to agree on such matters from the start or really be comfortable agreeing to disagree and valuing all the other things you have in common.
 

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I never discuss politics with anyone, not even my closest friends. It never leads to anything good.

However, it's different with someone you're in a serious relationship with. Luckily, my wife and I are on the same page in most things. We "argue" constantly about almost everything but politics. There we've had a Vulcan mind meld.
 
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That is a bummer, OP. Overall political views, views on religion, havin' a family, etc are all part o my vetting process for someone. First date material? Hell no. Discussed prior to consider anythin' serious with somebody? Ya. For sure. Have messed up myself in the past for one o the topics I mentioned, n it sucked. Good ya found out now at least.
 

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So I've been casually seeing this guy that I met through a mutual work friend and it's starting to get serious. We're already exclusive (he's a divorcee and I'm the only person he's had sex with since he was married), but the convo arose about actually being in a relationship and I WAS absolutely down for it. I've always been attracted to older white guys (which he is) with huge cocks (which he VERY MUCH so has), so with the racial dynamic, I prefer a Liberal leaning guy to a Conservative one bc they're a bit more aligned with me on the subject, although I have dated a couple of Republicans before, I just typically try to keep politics out of the discussion, as do they.

Anyways, I'm at his house and of course we all know what's going on in the country right now and an update came on the internet radio station we were listening to music on and he says "I'm so glad you're not out there trying to tear the country apart too." YEAH, I FLIPPED ON HIM AND LEFT.

Is anyone currently in a situation where you're in an interracial relationship and the current civil rights movement going on has revealed you don't ACTUALLY know the true colors of your partner? We don't need to have a debate on the actual movement right now, it just sucks knowing someone can like you enough to stick their cock in you every day and night, but not even attempt to have any empathy for a problem you've faced your whole life, despite people taking your clean cut appearance, career, and demeanor as "civilized".

Sorry, tough situation.
I'd be interested if he makes any attempt to apologize. Obviously you need to take care of yourself emotionally, and I hope it works out for you in the best way.
 

HungBtmVegas

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Sorry, tough situation.
I'd be interested if he makes any attempt to apologize. Obviously you need to take care of yourself emotionally, and I hope it works out for you in the best way.

No, unfortunately neither of us have reached out to the other since posting this, it's over
 
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No, unfortunately neither of us have reached out to the other since posting this, it's over


Connecting with other people is complicated. The attached graphic helps demonstrate some of this. With every type of relationship and its overlap there are numerous opportunities for personal change and growth (for both people).

I am not sure what your “older white guy friend” was thinking when he commended you for “not (being) out there trying to tear the country apart too”. But you might consider that those words might well have come from Martin Luther King Jr. He would have been against the destruction of property and looting, as it would have undermined his key issues.

All things being the same except that your friend was white, would you have had the same response?

xxfriendship.jpg
 

Brian S

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I'm not experiencing it myself; my partner of 18 years and I are aligned politically. I have seen it playing out on facebook, however, with a couple that we know. The wife has always been very liberal - almost to the point that sometimes even I think she's straying from the message a bit. The husband is just the opposite; very, very, very much a Trump supporter to the point of lashing out with insults whenever someone challenges him or even just posts on their own timeline.

Through all this, their facebook posts couldn't be more different. And I truly don't know how they do it. How do you hold love for someone who has very, very different thoughts on fundamental issues? I mean, he knows he can't say this, but he's waltzed right on up to the "n word" without actually ever typing it. You can just tell he wants to. And it's always been that way with them - he was chiding Target about trans bathroom policies, he thinks gay people are "fine as long as he doesn't have to see it" and no, of course, we shouldn't be married. I mean, it's every single issue, including Covid, but the current state of affairs seems to have driven them even further in opposite directions. And I don't get it.
 

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He said: "I'm so glad you're not out there trying to tear the country apart too", but what I heard was "You're one of the good ones."

That's beyond a political disagreement and so totally fucked up. Glad you got rid of him.
 

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Ummm I think something is missing. You took offense at what he said without thinking twice, you jumped his shit and left. Good for you.

He's what you've been looking for older white guy with a big cock. As was stated before he was glad perhaps maybe even held you to a higher standard because you were not out there tearing up the country.

Instead of taking it as a compliment, you took offense to it. I'm guessing primarily because he's white. Meanwhile you failed to see his perspective of the situation. Since he's an older white guy with a big cock, he probably remembers how the sit in's went. How change came about with MLK, even if he was young during that time.

While you could've handled the situation differently. You may have come to a better understanding of what he was thinking, and why he was glad you were not out being destructive and putting yourself in harm's way.

Could be you got this one wrong without giving him the benefit of the doubt. Guess you'll never know now. It's hard to take back words that come from hurt and hatred, Imho.
 

4202HHN

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Ummm I think something is missing. You took offense at what he said without thinking twice, you jumped his shit and left. Good for you.

He's what you've been looking for older white guy with a big cock. As was stated before he was glad perhaps maybe even held you to a higher standard because you were not out there tearing up the country.

Instead of taking it as a compliment, you took offense to it. I'm guessing primarily because he's white. Meanwhile you failed to see his perspective of the situation. Since he's an older white guy with a big cock, he probably remembers how the sit in's went. How change came about with MLK, even if he was young during that time.

While you could've handled the situation differently. You may have come to a better understanding of what he was thinking, and why he was glad you were not out being destructive and putting yourself in harm's way.

Could be you got this one wrong without giving him the benefit of the doubt. Guess you'll never know now. It's hard to take back words that come from hurt and hatred, Imho.
Neither MLK or Gandhi would have the reputation they do if it hadn't been for the violence and threat of violence that existed at the same time they were working and organizing. The American South and India both became unmanageable by their respective rulers and they had no choice but to give in. And in both cases, history wants us to forget that it was the threat of violence that made those rulers give in. Peaceful (i.e. generally ineffective protest) is sanctified precisely because it's so likely to fail.

This is not to say pacifist behavior and non-violent protest have no value as tactics. But power does not recognize requests as sufficient motive to give away power.
 

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Neither MLK or Gandhi would have the reputation they do if it hadn't been for the violence and threat of violence that existed at the same time they were working and organizing. The American South and India both became unmanageable by their respective rulers and they had no choice but to give in. And in both cases, history wants us to forget that it was the threat of violence that made those rulers give in. Peaceful (i.e. generally ineffective protest) is sanctified precisely because it's so likely to fail.

This is not to say pacifist behavior and non-violent protest have no value as tactics. But power does not recognize requests as sufficient motive to give away power.


The threat of violence in a majority minority country doesn't work unless someone is willing to give in. The acts of setting fire to buildings, destroying others private property and looting by the minority only works until the majority decides it's had enough and decides one of two things, it grants more rights or meets the minority protest head on in a confrontation. In today's climate either one is possible.

People are angry over covid and stay st home orders. However, the OP instead of jumping the gun like he did could've handled the situation differently. It sounds like he acted before he thought it through.
Sometimes it's better to let things pass. The OP felt more strongly about his political view than he did about the older white guy with the big cock. Which in and of itself, sounds like a racial fetish. Not judging just how it seems implied by the OP imho. Political views can sometimes make strange bedfellows.

There have been many couples with differing political views that live happy lives together. Some how though in same sex relationships the one who doesn't seem to be progressively liberal is questioned how he or she can hold the ideals they hold and be gay? Not very open minded I my opinion.
 

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So I've been casually seeing this guy that I met through a mutual work friend and it's starting to get serious. We're already exclusive (he's a divorcee and I'm the only person he's had sex with since he was married), but the convo arose about actually being in a relationship and I WAS absolutely down for it. I've always been attracted to older white guys (which he is) with huge cocks (which he VERY MUCH so has), so with the racial dynamic, I prefer a Liberal leaning guy to a Conservative one bc they're a bit more aligned with me on the subject, although I have dated a couple of Republicans before, I just typically try to keep politics out of the discussion, as do they.

Anyways, I'm at his house and of course we all know what's going on in the country right now and an update came on the internet radio station we were listening to music on and he says "I'm so glad you're not out there trying to tear the country apart too." YEAH, I FLIPPED ON HIM AND LEFT.

Is anyone currently in a situation where you're in an interracial relationship and the current civil rights movement going on has revealed you don't ACTUALLY know the true colors of your partner? We don't need to have a debate on the actual movement right now, it just sucks knowing someone can like you enough to stick their cock in you every day and night, but not even attempt to have any empathy for a problem you've faced your whole life, despite people taking your clean cut appearance, career, and demeanor as "civilized".

Thanks for sharing this. As hurtful as this was at least you found out their true colors.
 

4202HHN

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The threat of violence in a majority minority country doesn't work unless someone is willing to give in. The acts of setting fire to buildings, destroying others private property and looting by the minority only works until the majority decides it's had enough and decides one of two things, it grants more rights or meets the minority protest head on in a confrontation. In today's climate either one is possible.

People are angry over covid and stay st home orders. However, the OP instead of jumping the gun like he did could've handled the situation differently. It sounds like he acted before he thought it through.
Sometimes it's better to let things pass. The OP felt more strongly about his political view than he did about the older white guy with the big cock. Which in and of itself, sounds like a racial fetish. Not judging just how it seems implied by the OP imho. Political views can sometimes make strange bedfellows.

There have been many couples with differing political views that live happy lives together. Some how though in same sex relationships the one who doesn't seem to be progressively liberal is questioned how he or she can hold the ideals they hold and be gay? Not very open minded I my opinion.
So you're seeing this simply as a difference in otherwise neutral political views rather than something deeper and more personal?
 
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Not in an inter-racial relationship, but I had a tough political conversation with the guy I'm seeing. As background, I enjoy a good debate/exchange of ideas with someone who's respectful of other ideas, but if someone puts anything political in their online profile, I swipe left because how you treat others is far more important than how you vote (between two sucky options IMO). Anyhoo- after our conversation, we discovered that we didn't vote the same way in the last election, despite agreeing on major issues. He texted me a few days later pretty much demanding to know how I planned to vote this fall and badgering me about why his view was correct, or at least that's how it felt. I was getting pissed. I had given my LOGICAL reasons for my vote, which he said he understood those reasons, but now was trying to bully me into voting the way he wants? Oh, hell no. If he continued this in person, I was ready to end our new relationship. The next time we were together, he explained that he wanted to understand my views on a few certain topics were in alignment with his, because he saw a future with me and needed to ensure we were in agreement on those core elements, not so much about the vote itself.

My point in sharing that story is that I fully misinterpreted my guy, and maybe you have, too. Maybe he wasn't being dismissive of your experience or not being empathetic, but maybe he was glad that you are safe and weren't participating in what has become dangerous, destructive and divisive in so many areas... and he did a really bad job of expressing it.

If that's not the case, you're better off without that negativity in your life.
 

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This is why I won't date someone without knowing their politics before hand, and unless they know mine.

You don't like the fact that I'm very openly progressive? Don't pull ya dick out for me, ever. Please and thanks.

I'm not currently in an interracial relationship, but I have been and I'm biracial myself. I know what it's like to know someone for years, and then learn the hard way they have been racist fucks the whole time.